Is there such a thing as a ‘Normal Sex Life’?

*This is an older article. We highly recommend you also consult our newer, more in depth piece, “What is a Healthy Sex Life, Really?

You might also find our comprehensive guide to Sexual Problems a useful read. 

normal sex lifeDo I Have a Normal Sex Life?

With streams of sexually charged material all around us is it any wonder that so many of us are concerned about our sex lives?

Each year couples and individuals of all ages choose to see a sex therapist because of the concerns regarding their sex life.  One of the most common issues that bring couples and individuals into sex therapy is the age old question: “Is my sex life normal?”

Many people think that everyone but them is having a normal sex life and because of this, there is something wrong with theirs.  At times, just thinking about this intimate aspect of our lives can invoke feelings such as: embarrassment, stress, or even shame which makes enjoying a healthy sex life complicated.  The truth about the “normal” sex life is that it is a myth, it simply does not exist.

The French expression, “tous les gouts sont dans la nature”, applies very well here. It literally means “all preferences are found in nature”.

If you were to imagine and make a comparison of the sex lives of those you see on a daily basis you are going to find differences and this is “normal”.

What is not “normal” is when you have difficulty experiencing and enjoying your sex life.  If you or your sexual partner is experiencing concerns or difficulty related to sex it may be helpful to speak to a therapist to explore whether or not sex therapy is right for you.

By Justin Duwe, Psychotherapist, BSc, MA, MBPsS

Harley Therapy – Psychotherapy and Counselling offers therapists who specialise in sexual issues such as: loss of sexual desire, erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, painful intercourse, sex avoidance, Vaginismus, Anorgasmia, and sex and pornography addiction. You can book a first consultation now with our online booking form. Not in the UK? We also now offer Skype counselling worldwide

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