{"id":100613,"date":"2018-12-06T11:00:56","date_gmt":"2018-12-06T11:00:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/?p=100613"},"modified":"2023-03-08T11:18:55","modified_gmt":"2023-03-08T11:18:55","slug":"what-is-anxious-attachment-style","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/what-is-anxious-attachment-style.htm","title":{"rendered":"What is an “Anxious Attachment Style”?"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"anxious<\/a>

By: Kevin Jaako<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n

by Andrea M. Darcy<\/span><\/p>\n

Do your romantic relationships leave you an anxious mess?<\/strong> Do you find yourself worrying about relationships with colleagues<\/a> and friends<\/a>? You might have anxious attachment disorder.<\/p>\n

[In pieces over a relationship? Need support? Book affordable online therapy<\/a><\/span> and get help fast.]<\/span><\/p>\n

The basics of attachment theory<\/h2>\n

Attachment theory<\/a> believes that we are all biologically wired to relate to form connections<\/a>, or\u00a0 \u2018attachments\u2019, with others.<\/p>\n

And in order to be an adult who relates to others easily we need to have had a<\/strong> solid, healthy \u2019attachment\u2019 from birth to seven years old. This means that we had a parent or primary caregiver we could rely on for safety and unconditional love.<\/p>\n

And what if this is not our experience? If nobody took good care of us, if we had a<\/strong> parent who was sometimes loving but sometimes punished us for our needs? If a parent was unwell or an addict<\/a>, if we suffered abuse<\/a> and neglect<\/a>?<\/p>\n

We find ourselves an adult with<\/strong> \u2018attachment issues\u2019. Our childhood gives us beliefs<\/a> about love and expectations<\/a> about relating that we unconsciously continue to use, even when this “attachment style<\/a>” is faulty.<\/p>\n

And one very common type of attachment issue is<\/strong> \u2018anxious attachment disorder\u201d, also called \u201canxious preoccupied\u201d.<\/p>\n

What is anxious attachment style?<\/h2>\n
\"anxious<\/a>

By: Pedro Ribeiro Sim\u00f5es<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n

If we have anxious attachment disorder we long for love and closeness. But relationships don\u2019t leave us feeling accepted, happy or fulfilled. <\/strong><\/p>\n

Well, perhaps at first. But soon enough, the relationship\u00a0anxiety<\/a> starts. We don\u2019t trust the other person<\/a>, we bend over backwards to try to win their love<\/a>, but feel not good enough<\/a>, rejected<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Anxious attachment vs secure attachment<\/h2>\n

It is easier to understand anxious attachment if we first understand what healthy attachment, or \u2018secure attachment\u2019, is.<\/p>\n

Those who are securely attached find emotional closeness easy, can<\/strong> depend on others and be depended on without feeling anxious, and don\u2019t mind what others think of them. They have good self-esteem<\/a> and feel fine when away from their partners or friends.<\/p>\n

Symptoms of an anxious attachment style<\/h2>\n

If you have an anxious attachment style you will:<\/strong><\/p>\n