{"id":100696,"date":"2018-12-18T11:00:06","date_gmt":"2018-12-18T11:00:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/?p=100696"},"modified":"2023-03-08T15:35:43","modified_gmt":"2023-03-08T15:35:43","slug":"why-does-nobody-like-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/why-does-nobody-like-me.htm","title":{"rendered":"“Why Does Nobody Like Me?”"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"why<\/a>

By: db Photography | Demi-Brooke<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n

by Andrea M. Darcy<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u00a0 is a thought you keep to yourself because it feels dark<\/a> and shameful<\/a>. \u201cWhy does nobody like me?\u201d<\/p>\n

And the more you think it, the more you are sure that it\u2019s hopeless<\/a>. You\u2019ll never be appreciated. You might smile on the outside and pretend you are okay, but inside you feel lost, alone<\/a>, and scared<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n

The truth about nobody liking you<\/h2>\n

Here\u2019s the crazy thing about always asking yourself, “Why does nobody like me?”.<\/p>\n

Those very people whose opinion you are worried about don’t even know you. Why? Because as the type of person who struggles with socialising<\/a>, you are probably also the type of person who never acts themselves around others<\/a>.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

You get nervous, pretend to feel and think things you don\u2019t, <\/strong>go along with what others want<\/a>. Sound familiar?<\/p>\n

Take solace in the fact haters don\u2019t like a \u2018fake\u2019 you. The real you is hidden inside, and you don\u2019t have proof that people don’t like that real you!<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Second crazy thing – many more people feel unliked and unloveable<\/a> than you might realise. We live in a society that doesn’t teach us healthy relating<\/a> but leaves us to compete.<\/p>\n

Those very people you are worried don’t like you, might be worried you don’t like them!\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Why people don\u2019t seem to like you<\/h2>\n

Too many articles act as if it is all ‘in your head’ if you think people don’t like you. But actually<\/strong>, some of us do struggle to get along with others. So let’s look at why.<\/p>\n

1. You are being false.<\/span><\/h3>\n

The problem with not being able to be ourselves around others is that others sense we are<\/strong> being false. It makes them uncomfortable and turns them off.<\/p>\n

It would be easy to pretend the simple solution here is just \u2018be yourself!\u2019.<\/p>\n

But if we grew up in a home where we were punished for being ourselves, then our brains are used to being what others want<\/a>. If we were traumatised as\u00a0 a child<\/a>, we might even only feel safe if we are this other, fake self. This is why you should not feel ashamed for worrying others like you. It’s not your fault you find relating hard.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\"why<\/a>

By: Mick C<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n

It can take time (and therapy!) to figure out who the real you even is<\/strong> and how to share that with others.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

But just recognising there is a problem is a good start. It can help you stop being so<\/strong> angry<\/a> at everyone else. You can start to move out of victim mode<\/a> and see that you do have power to change the situation.<\/p>\n

2. You are actually encouraging other people not to like you.<\/span><\/h3>\n

How can this be when you want people to like you?<\/p>\n

But the question here is – do you like yourself?<\/strong> Because if you don\u2019t, then you are probably <\/strong>unconsciously<\/a> encouraging others to agree with your hidden core beliefs<\/a> that aren\u2019t good enough<\/a>, don\u2019t deserve good things, and don\u2019t deserve love<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Look for things like:<\/p>\n