{"id":101253,"date":"2019-02-07T11:00:12","date_gmt":"2019-02-07T11:00:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/?p=101253"},"modified":"2022-11-29T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2022-11-29T12:00:00","slug":"fear-of-missing-out-fomo","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/fear-of-missing-out-fomo.htm","title":{"rendered":"Is “Fear of Missing Out” Overrated? And When It’s More Than FOMO"},"content":{"rendered":"
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By: Jesper Sehested<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n

FOMO is now a term we all<\/strong> know and use. So\u00a0 should you actually be worried<\/a> if ‘fear of missing out’ has you in its grip? And is it actually a mental health<\/a> concern, or overrated?<\/p>\n

What is FOMO, exactly?<\/h3>\n

FOMO, or fear of missing out, is not actually a term that arose from psychology\u00a0<\/strong>but from marketing, but has been adopted as a psychological topic.<\/p>\n

Fear of missing out, or FOMO, refers to the <\/span>worry <\/a>created when we think that missing out on an event or experience will negatively affect our lives.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Why does it matter? Research<\/a> shows that FOMO stresses us out. Trying to keep up and not miss out leads to<\/strong>\u00a0fatigue<\/a>, sleep problems<\/a>, higher stress levels<\/a>, and even physical symptoms, like ongoing colds and flu (too many parties, not enough sleep?).<\/p>\n

Why FOMO is nothing new<\/h3>\n

Although it\u2019s now connected to social media, FOMO is nothing new.\u00a0<\/strong>Psychology has long identified that as humans we are motivated by things outside of ourselves. <\/strong>‘Self determination’ theory has been around since the 1980s, and believes that one of our three core needs as humans is ‘relatedness’, or connection<\/a>.<\/p>\n

While ‘intrinsic motivation’, such as our<\/strong> values and beliefs<\/a>, are healthy motivators to meet our needs, we are also influenced by ‘extrinsic motivation’, things outside of ourselves that give us a feeling of reward. Such as, say, approval by other people on social media for being at the ‘right’ events and getaways.<\/p>\n

From an evolutionary psychology point of view, FOMO could be even be seen as a type of <\/strong>survival skill.<\/a> Knowing what was going on in your tribe and with tribes around us probably meant you’d know where a food source was, or where wild animals to be avoided were. And as we progressed as humans, staying on top of things like local news and gossip would still mean you were ready for untoward weather or avoided being ostracised.<\/p>\n

[Time to book a therapist you like and stop FOMO in its tracks? Book an online therapist now<\/span><\/a> and start chatting this week.]<\/span><\/p>\n

Good FOMO, Bad FOMO<\/h3>\n
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By: Luz Adriana Villa<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n

If your FOMO is about a rare experience you have long hoped for – <\/strong>say, to\u00a0go to a concert of your favorite musician? And you are panicking you won\u2019t get a ticket, or have the night off, and will never get over the missed opportunity?<\/p>\n

Entirely normal.\u00a0 Worry about whether we will or will not attain a goal<\/a><\/span> or dream happens because we want to avoid being disappointed<\/a><\/span>.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

But if your FOMO is consistently connected to missing random social events –<\/strong> parties<\/a>, drinks out<\/a>, weekends away<\/a> – usually with the same group of people? This is where fear of missing out can take a dark turn.<\/p>\n

When you are worried you won\u2019t be \u2018in the know\u2019, that other are having fun without you? Fear of missing out is actually about your identity<\/a><\/span>. You mistake who you really are with what you do, and how you appear to others – your \u2018self concept<\/span><\/span><\/a>\u2019. And this could be a reason\u00a0social media<\/a><\/span> creates so much FOMO. It’s all about self concept, the way we present ourselves.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

T<\/strong>he more you focus on your self concept, your idea<\/em> of who you should<\/em> be, the further you can float from the real you<\/strong> – your personal values<\/a>, your sense of purpose, the goals that match these values<\/a>. And the more you float away from this ‘actualised\u2019 self<\/a>, the more unsettled you feel.<\/p>\n

When FOMO is actually normal<\/h3>\n
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By: Pedro Belleza<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n

There is a point in time it could be argued FOMO is actually normal \u2014 adolescence.<\/strong> Erick Erickson was a psychologist famous for writing about human development. He defined eight different stages to our \u2018psychosocial development\u2019 that we need to master to become contributing members of society.<\/p>\n

Between ages 12 to 18, we go through a stage he called \u201cIdentity vs. Role Confusion\u201d. Our main job here is to <\/strong>develop a sense of self<\/a> and answer questions like, “Who am I?\u201d, \u201cWhat am I here for?\u201d, \u201cWhat am I going to do with the rest of my life?\u201d.<\/p>\n

So it\u2019s perfectly normal as a teenager<\/a><\/span> to \u2018try\u2019 on\u2019 different personalities and identities. This can of course create a feeling that you need to try everything, or you might miss out on finding yourself.\u00a0But the more you realise what truly matters to you (your values<\/a>)<\/span>, the more you realise that you are you, and a party is just a party.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

In your twenties, and feel like you are still \u2018trying on\u2019 who you are? Don\u2019t panic. Some psychologists feel<\/strong> that development markers are moving. We are taking longer to figure out who we are, and living at home with our parents longer<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Given that most research studies to date done on FOMO were carried out on university students<\/strong>, it does stand to question if FOMO is indeed an inflated issue.<\/p>\n

What makes one person more susceptible to FOMO than another?<\/h3>\n

Some people try to connect FOMO to extroversion<\/strong>. It’s true that\u00a0extroverts<\/a> are naturally outward-looking — they\u00a0 seek answers from people and environments outside themselves.<\/p>\n

But extroversion alone doesn\u2019t cause FOMO<\/strong>, nor is it an essential ingredient (in fact a Canadian study<\/a> found that FOMO didn’t directly correlate to extraversion at all, but was felt by everyone).<\/p>\n

If you are well out of your twenties and suffer constant FOMO, then\u00a0<\/strong>it’s more likely connected to one or several of the following:<\/p>\n