{"id":101646,"date":"2019-03-21T11:00:20","date_gmt":"2019-03-21T11:00:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/?p=101646"},"modified":"2023-03-10T14:02:34","modified_gmt":"2023-03-10T14:02:34","slug":"male-postpartum-depression","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/male-postpartum-depression.htm","title":{"rendered":"Male Postpartum Depression &#8211; When Being a Dad Has You Down"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"attachment_101649\" style=\"width: 410px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/14704013158_1713329da3.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-101649\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-101649\" src=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/14704013158_1713329da3-400x266.jpg\" alt=\"male postpartum depression\" width=\"400\" height=\"266\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/14704013158_1713329da3-400x266.jpg 400w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/14704013158_1713329da3.jpg 500w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/14704013158_1713329da3-180x120.jpg 180w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-101649\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">By: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/pentecostalsofoc\/14704013158\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noreferrer\" \">The Pentecostals of OC<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n<p>&#8216;Male postpartum <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/types-of-depression.htm\">depression&#8217; <\/a>might sound a strange thing that happens to other people.<\/p>\n<p><strong><em>But if you are finding fatherhood is leaving you moody, on edge, and not yourself? It&#8217;s time to pay attention.\u00a0<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<h3>When being a Dad affects your mental health<\/h3>\n<p><strong>Trying to hide your struggles over being a Dad? It can help to know that you are far from alone <\/strong>if parenthood is leaving you low.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"color: #333399;\">UK coaching consultancy Talking Talent<a style=\"color: #333399;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.talking-talent.com\/en\/work-life-fit-working-parents\"> published research<\/a> showing that 72% of working dads admitted to being physically and emotionally worn out. The unhappy knock-on effect was that 57% of those exhausted fathers didn\u2019t think they were being good enough parents or partners, either.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><strong>This sense of inadequacy<\/strong> &#8211; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wrong-career-path.htm\">underperforming at work<\/a>, but <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/easy-ways-to-be-mindful.htm\">not being presen<\/a>t enough at home &#8211; is manifesting as<a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/why-do-i-feel-guilty-all-the-time.htm\"> guilt<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/parental-stress.htm\">stress<\/a> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/anxiety-vs-depression.htm\">anxiety, and yes, depression<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #666699;\">[So down you don&#8217;t know what to do? Want to talk to someone who understands? <a href=\"https:\/\/harleytherapy.com\/?utm_source=Harley%20Therapy%20Blog&amp;utm_content=Mid%20Post\">Book an online therapist now<\/a> and get talking.]<\/span><\/p>\n<h3>Male prenatal depression?<\/h3>\n<div id=\"attachment_101673\" style=\"width: 410px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/8590566499_14b7333907.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-101673\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-101673\" src=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/8590566499_14b7333907-400x308.jpg\" alt=\"male postpartum depression\" width=\"400\" height=\"308\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/8590566499_14b7333907-400x308.jpg 400w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/8590566499_14b7333907.jpg 500w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-101673\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">By: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/claudiasimsphotography\/8590566499\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noreferrer\" \">Claudia Heidelberger<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n<p>Father-related<a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/depression-vs-sadness.htm\"> depression<\/a> can also start in the lead up to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/involuntary-childlessness-depression.htm\">having children<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>A <a href=\"https:\/\/jamanetwork.com\/journals\/jama\/article-abstract\/185905\">large-scale overview of depression in fathers<\/a> looking at 29 years worth of American <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/mindful-parenting.htm\">parenting<\/a> studies found that&#8211;<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"color: #333399;\">&#8211;the number of men showing <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/depression-vs-sadness.htm\">signs of depression<\/a> starts to rise during the third trimester of pregnancy. Between three and six months after the birth of a baby, over a quarter of dads are displaying depressive symptoms.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<h3>Symptoms of depression in new dads<\/h3>\n<p><strong>Like <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/postnatal-depression-case-study.htm\">postnatal depression<\/a> in mums, depression\u00a0 in new dads often goes undiagnosed.<\/strong> Along with <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/quiz-stressed-or-depressed\">general symptoms of depression<\/a> (see our &#8216;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/depression-help-guide.htm\">Guide to Depression<\/a>&#8216; for these), <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/gender-and-mental-health.htm\">symptoms of depression can be different in men<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Postnatal depression in men can include<\/strong>:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>frustration and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/repressed-anger.htm\">anger<\/a><\/li>\n<li>fear, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/foggy-brain.htm\">confusion<\/a> and a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/why-do-i-feel-hopeless.htm\">sense of helplessness<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/alcohol-and-depression.htm\">using alcohol<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/club-drugs-and-therapy.htm\">drugs<\/a><\/li>\n<li>withdrawing from<a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/conflicting-parenting-styles.htm\"> family life<\/a> and<a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/how-to-find-friends.htm\"> social life<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/medically-unexplained-symptoms-counselling.htm\">physical symptoms<\/a>, like headaches, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/sleep-problems-mental-health-issue.htm\">insomnia<\/a> or digestive problems.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h3>But why would I have &#8216;Dad depression&#8217;?<\/h3>\n<p><strong>There are many factors that can leave us more vulnerable to male postnatal depression than others.<\/strong> It can be a genetic pre-disposition. Or you might have <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/what-are-adverse-childhood-experiences-aces.htm\">unresolved past issues<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/what-is-childhood-trauma.htm\">childhood traumas<\/a> you didn&#8217;t get help with, and a parent triggers them.<\/p>\n<p>According to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.nct.org.uk\/life-parent\/emotions\/postnatal-depression-dads-10-things-you-should-know\">UK parenting charity NCT<\/a>, <strong>you are also statistically more likely to suffer male postpartum depression if you are:<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>under 25<\/li>\n<li>if the mother also suffers from depression<\/li>\n<li>or if you face<a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/lwren-scott-debt-depression.htm\"> financial pressures<\/a>.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<div id=\"attachment_101650\" style=\"width: 310px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-101650\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-101650\" src=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/2608065730_999497c735-300x400.jpg\" alt=\"male postpartum depression\" width=\"300\" height=\"400\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/2608065730_999497c735-300x400.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/2608065730_999497c735.jpg 375w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><p id=\"caption-attachment-101650\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">By: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/andrec\/2608065730\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noreferrer\" \">andrechinn<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n<p><strong>There&#8217;s also a lot to be said for the rising<a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/high-expectations.htm\"> expectations<\/a> on fathers these days.<\/strong> The rules of parenting are changing, and some men feel caught in the upswing.<\/p>\n<h3>Are new ways of being a dad at fault?<\/h3>\n<p>A <a href=\"https:\/\/www.sciencedaily.com\/releases\/2018\/06\/180612185124.htm\">study of over 2,000 fathers<\/a> at Brigham Young University in America found that there is a definite shift in the ways that fathers are seeing their responsibilities. This includes:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>seeing fatherhood as equal to motherhood<\/li>\n<li>being more loving towards children<\/li>\n<li>spending more time with children.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h3>New expectations, old pressures?<\/h3>\n<p><strong>The upshot is that many men feel caught between <\/strong>a real desire to be a better dad, and the familiar pressure to be the breadwinner\u00a0 in a working culture that still rewards long hours and single-minded focus.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Yes, shared parental leave (SPL) in the UK allows parents to share up to<\/strong> 50 weeks of maternity leave, and 37 weeks of statutory pay after their baby arrives.<\/p>\n<p><strong>But take up of the scheme has been pitifully low<\/strong>\u00a0with the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.gov.uk\/government\/news\/new-share-the-joy-campaign-promotes-shared-parental-leave-rights-for-parents\">government admitting<\/a> it&#8217;s about 2% of eligible couples.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"color: #800080;\">Many men worry that they will be seen as less committed to their careers &#8211; and less worthy of advancement &#8211; if they take too much time off for childcare.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<h3>Is my &#8216;dad depression&#8217; really a big deal?<\/h3>\n<p>A <a href=\"https:\/\/www.sciencedirect.com\/science\/article\/abs\/pii\/S0885200616300242?via%3Dihub\">study at Michigan State University<\/a> found that the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/what-is-mental-health.htm\">mental health<\/a> of both parents can have a significant impact on a child\u2019s development. Depression in fathers was found to lead to less co-operation in children once they were at <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/student-stress-what-is-it.htm\">school<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>And a <a href=\"https:\/\/psycnet.apa.org\/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Fa0023948\">\u00a0Canadian study on fathering<\/a> found that <strong>good fathering when children are young means better intellectual ability and less behavioural problems as your child grows up.<\/strong><\/p>\n<h3>How to handle male postpartum depression<\/h3>\n<p><em>So what can you do if you have &#8216;the Dad blues&#8217;?<\/em><\/p>\n<h4><span style=\"color: #993366;\">1. Get the basics right. <\/span><\/h4>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/food-and-mood.htm\">Diet<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/how-to-exercise-more.htm\">exercise<\/a>, sleep. It\u2019s sometimes easier said than done, but looking after the small stuff can help you feel in control. Don\u2019t use<a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/drinking-too-much-alcohol.htm\"> alcohol<\/a> to blot things out &#8211; it will only make things worse.<\/p>\n<h4><span style=\"color: #993366;\">2. Take time for yourself. <\/span><\/h4>\n<p>This can be tricky, especially in the first year of family life, but it is important. Meet a friend for coffee. Go for a walk. Of course arrange your week so mum gets time for herself, too.<\/p>\n<h4><span style=\"color: #993366;\">3. Take time for each other. <\/span><\/h4>\n<p>As new parents you\u2019ll often be<a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/causes-of-exhaustion.htm\"> exhausted<\/a>, but just half an hour in the evening talking about your respective days can be therapeutic. Talk about how you\u2019re both coping &#8211; just don\u2019t let it descend into a competition to prove who is the most tired or stressed.<\/p>\n<h4><span style=\"color: #993366;\">4. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/connecting-with-people.htm\">Connect<\/a>. Talk to other dads. <\/span><\/h4>\n<p>That might be a local dads\u2019 group, or just a dad at work. You\u2019ll quickly realise that the tribulations of being a dad are widely shared.<\/p>\n<h4><span style=\"color: #993366;\">5. Work it out. <\/span><\/h4>\n<p>At work, that is. Many more<a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/how-to-deal-with-difficult-boss.htm\"> employers<\/a> are sympathetic to a dad\u2019s desire for a better <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/life-balance-tips-have-you-tried-this.htm\">work\/life balance<\/a> than used to be the case. Talk to your manager or the HR department. Is there an opportunity to work more flexibly, or even work remotely from time to time?<\/p>\n<h4><span style=\"color: #993366;\">6. Accept your mistakes. <\/span><\/h4>\n<p>All children are different, and none of them come with a handbook. All dads make mistakes, so cut yourself some slack. Parenting is the very definition of learning on the job.<\/p>\n<h4><span style=\"color: #993366;\">7. Give yourself credit. <\/span><\/h4>\n<p>You\u2019re<a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/quiz-stressed-or-depressed\"> tired and stressed<\/a> and struggling to find a perfect <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/workplace-stress-myth.htm\">balance between work and home life<\/a>. But guess what, your child is happy and healthy and loves spending time with you. There is no &#8216;perfect&#8217; when it comes to parenting, so give yourself some credit.<\/p>\n<h4><span style=\"color: #993366;\">8. Stay off social media.<\/span><\/h4>\n<p>Most people realise that<a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/negative-effects-of-facebook.htm\"> social media<\/a> is not a place to look for well rounded representations of real life, but it has a particularly insidious influence when it comes to fatherhood. The shiny, happy people of Instagram only make men more wary of showing what might be perceived as weakness. If it makes you feel bad, then stay away.<\/p>\n<h4><span style=\"color: #993366;\">9. Get help if you need it. <\/span><\/h4>\n<p>It&#8217;s not &#8216;weak&#8217; to seek support. If anything, it takes tremendous courage to do so. If you feel nervous about it, think about what you&#8217;d say to your kids if they were upset. Would you want them to talk to someone, and ask for help? Then why aren&#8217;t you?<\/p>\n<p><strong><span style=\"color: #800080;\">Time to reach out and get help to be the great dad you really are? Harley Therapy connects you to top London therapists in central locations. Not in London or even the UK? <span style=\"color: #666699;\"><a style=\"color: #666699;\" href=\"https:\/\/harleytherapy.com\/?utm_source=Harley%20Therapy%20Blog&amp;utm_content=Post%20End\">Our booking platform<\/a><\/span> offers UK-wide therapists, and <span style=\"color: #666699;\"><a style=\"color: #666699;\" href=\"https:\/\/harleytherapy.com\/therapists?location_type=skype&amp;utm_source=Harley%20Therapy%20Blog&amp;utm_content=Post%20End\">online therapists<\/a> <\/span>you can talk to from anywhere.\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p><em><strong>Still have a question about male postpartum depression? Post in our public comment box below.\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong><span style=\"color: #333399;\">Written by: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/hugh-wilson-313641a8\/\">Hugh Wilson<\/a>. <\/span><\/strong><span style=\"color: #333399;\">Hugh Wilson is a freelance journalist based in West Yorkshire. He writes about parenting, health, technology,\u00a0 business, and workplace issues.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8216;Male postpartum depression&#8217; might sound a strange thing that happens to other people. But if you are finding fatherhood is leaving you moody, on edge, and not yourself? It&#8217;s time to pay attention.\u00a0 When being a Dad affects your mental health Trying to hide your struggles over being a Dad? It can help to know [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":101649,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"yes","_lmt_disable":"no","footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[378,115],"class_list":["post-101646","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-depression","tag-depression","tag-parenting","has_thumb"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v27.3 (Yoast SEO v27.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Male Postpartum Depression - When Being a Dad Has You Down - Harley Therapy\u2122 Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Is male postpartum depression really a thing? According to extensive research, absolutely. 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What can you do if being a Dad is bringing you down?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/male-postpartum-depression.htm\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Harley Therapy\u2122 Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/harleytherapy\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/harleytherapylondon\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2019-03-21T11:00:20+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2023-03-10T14:02:34+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/14704013158_1713329da3.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"500\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"333\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Sheri Jacobson\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@https:\/\/twitter.com\/drsherijacobson\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@HarleyTherapy\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Sheri Jacobson\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"6 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\\\/counselling\\\/male-postpartum-depression.htm\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\\\/counselling\\\/male-postpartum-depression.htm\",\"name\":\"Male Postpartum Depression - When Being a Dad Has You Down - Harley Therapy\u2122 Blog\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\\\/counselling\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\\\/counselling\\\/male-postpartum-depression.htm#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\\\/counselling\\\/male-postpartum-depression.htm#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\\\/counselling\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/14704013158_1713329da3.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2019-03-21T11:00:20+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2023-03-10T14:02:34+00:00\",\"description\":\"Is male postpartum depression really a thing? 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