{"id":114295,"date":"2019-07-09T11:00:47","date_gmt":"2019-07-09T10:00:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/?p=114295"},"modified":"2023-03-08T14:31:20","modified_gmt":"2023-03-08T14:31:20","slug":"overanalyse-choice-paralysis","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/overanalyse-choice-paralysis.htm","title":{"rendered":"Overanalyse Everything? Why You Have “Choice Paralysis”"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"overanalyse\"<\/a>

By: Clare Black<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n

by Andrea M. Darcy<\/span><\/p>\n

Overanalyse everything, to the endless exasperation of your friends<\/a>? And miss out on opportunity when you get ‘analysis paralysis’ and don’t make a decision<\/a>?<\/span><\/p>\n

Why do we overanalyse?<\/span><\/h2>\n

Some of us have stronger intellectual tendencies naturally. Or it can be a learned behaviour to be analytical, if we grew up with parents<\/a> that put the focus on thinking and discussing.<\/p>\n

Psychological issues that cause overanalysing<\/span><\/h2>\n

But, genetic inclination and comfort zone aside, overanalysing is often driven by psychological issues<\/a>. What are these issues?<\/span><\/p>\n

1. Anxiety. <\/span><\/h3>\n

Anxiety<\/a> and overanalysing are sisters. The difference being that anxiety<\/a> is overthinking gone completely illogic and fear<\/a>-based. Even small questions<\/a> or choices will kick off a flurry of troubleshooting — “How can I avoid danger and bad things happening<\/a>?”.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

2. Perfectionism.\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n

Behind perfectionism<\/a> is a fear of \u2018getting it wrong\u2019. The mind frantically overanalyses in an effort to avoid you being seen as a ‘failure<\/a>‘.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

3. Low self-esteem.<\/span><\/h3>\n

If we don\u2019t have confidence<\/a> in ourselves, we assume we will do things \u2018bad\u2019 and \u2018wrong\u2019. So we overanalyse everything in a desperate attempt to \u2018not mess everything up again\u2019. <\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Of course it tends to be a self fulfilling prophecy – low self-esteem<\/a> <\/span>is driven by strong and limiting core beliefs<\/a> <\/span>that then push us to constantly make bad choices.<\/span><\/p>\n

Low self-esteem can also lead us to overanalyse as a backward way to get the attention we don’t think we deserve otherwise. If we always have a big ‘drama’ we have to endlessly run by others, it even makes us feel ‘interesting’.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

4. Codependency.\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n
\"\"

By: Taymaz Valley<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n

If we are codependent<\/a>, every decision we face becomes a chance to win approval or be shunned. So we desperately overanalyse in order to please others<\/a>. <\/span><\/p>\n

How did I end up with ‘choice paralysis’?\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n

Again, parenting comes into play<\/a>. If your parents supported analysing as a positive way to lead life, you\u2019ll be naturally more analytical. <\/span><\/p>\n

But parenting can also drive us to overanalyse for negative reasons. Let\u2019s look at how this works. <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

1. Critical parenting.\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n

Were you always watched and told when you did things wrong? When you tried your best, were you told how you could do things even better? <\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

\n

Many of us internalise this critical voice of a parent into our own, and become adults with an inner soundtrack waiting and watching for us to mess up. No wonder we have analysis paralysis. <\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

2. High expectations<\/a>. <\/span><\/h3>\n

This can be the case with children identified as ‘gifted’ or ‘talented’.<\/strong> The entire family can see the child as the \u2018saviour\u2019, expecting them to grow up and make a mark, or make enough money<\/a> to take care of everyone. <\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s too much pressure.<\/strong> As a child you can feel too responsible. And as an adult this feeling of responsibility can leak into a fear of letting others down<\/a> with every decision you make\u2026 cue the overanalysing. <\/span><\/p>\n

3. Helicopter parenting. <\/span><\/h3>\n

On the other end of the spectrum is a childhood where you didn\u2019t make decisions at all. <\/strong>Your helicopter parent<\/a> made all your decisions for you. As an adult you can just feel lost in the face of options, and get caught up in overthinking as decisions feel overwhelming. <\/span><\/p>\n

4. Overly strict parenting. <\/span><\/h3>\n

Punished for making mistakes as a child? Particularly if you were physically punished, this can create a<\/strong> fear of decisions as an adult. Your brain will still go into fear mode. <\/span><\/p>\n

5. Attention as a reward instead of right. <\/span><\/h3>\n

Attachment theory<\/a> is a school of thought that believes that, in order to grow up into secure and confident<\/a> adults, we need at least one caregiver, in our first seven years particularly, who we can trust<\/a> to be there for us and love us matter what. <\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"

By: Pierre Tourigny<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n

If we instead are faced with a caregiver who only gives us love if we are \u2018good\u2019 or \u2018pleasing\u2019? But ignores or belittles us otherwise?<\/strong> We end up indecisive adults with ‘anxious attachment<\/a>‘, constantly worried we will not please others.<\/span> <\/span><\/p>\n

Trauma and the tendency to overanalyse<\/span><\/h2>\n

Did you experience trauma as a child<\/a>? Or a generally traumatic, unstable childhood, with \u2018adverse childhood experiences\u2019 (ACE\u2019s)<\/a>?<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Trauma leaves us with core beliefs<\/a> that the world is a dangerous place<\/a>. Without realising it, unless we seek help to process trauma<\/a>, we spend our lives scanning for danger, threats, for things going wrong. This of course leads to overanalysing every situation. <\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Trauma also completely damages our capacity to trust not just others, but ourselves.<\/strong> Even though logically we know trauma is not our fault, we internalise it. If we allowed trauma to happen to us, how can we trust ourselves on anything? <\/span><\/p>\n

And because trauma destroys trust, it can lead us to be obsessively independent.<\/strong> We have few if any connected, reliable relationships, do everything ourselves and make every decision ourselves. <\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s a huge amount of responsibility with little margin for error if there is no one else to pick up the slack.<\/strong> Is there any wonder each step in life is obsessively overanalysed for how it will or will not work? <\/span><\/p>\n

How can I stop overanalysing everything?<\/span><\/h2>\n

Getting an idea your analysis paralysis is connected to much bigger issues? Overanalysing is not going to be an overnight process, but a committed journey.<\/span><\/p>\n

There are many tools that can help you be<\/strong> more present with yourself and what you truly want. This can include journaling<\/a>, mindfulness<\/a>, and self-compassion<\/a>. <\/span><\/p>\n

But it also starts with looking at your<\/strong> hidden and limiting core beliefs<\/a>. Deep down, do you believe that the world is a dangerous place? That you have to make the \u2018right\u2019 decisions as you can\u2019t trust anyone else to be there for you? How true are these beliefs, really? What might be a more useful belief instead? <\/span><\/p>\n

And we need to learn to trust. Not just others, and ourselves, but also life itself.<\/strong> We need to trust that that life isn\u2019t always against us. That it isn\u2019t us, all alone, against a strange negative force. That if we mess up, which inevitably we will do, it\u2019s probably going to be okay.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Time to stop overanalysing and start living? We connect you with some of London’s best psychotherapists and counselling psychologists<\/a>. Not in London? Our booking platform provides UK-wide registered therapists<\/a>, or try online counselling from anywhere.\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\n

\"AndreaAndrea M. Darcy<\/b> is a mental health and wellbeing expert, who has done some training in person-centred counselling and coaching. She often writes about trauma, relationships, and ADHD, and advises people on how to plan their therapy journey. Find her on Instagram @am_darcy<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

by Andrea M. Darcy Overanalyse everything, to the endless exasperation of your friends? And miss out on opportunity when you get ‘analysis paralysis’ and don’t make a decision? Why do we overanalyse? Some of us have stronger intellectual tendencies naturally. Or it can be a learned behaviour to be analytical, if we grew up with […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":114299,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"yes","_lmt_disable":"no","footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[224,375],"class_list":["post-114295","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-anxiety-and-stress","tag-anxiety-stress","tag-childhood-trauma","has_thumb"],"yoast_head":"\nOveranalyse Everything? Why You Have "Choice Paralysis" - Harley Therapy\u2122 Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Overanalyse everything? 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Darcy","author_link":"#"},"uagb_comment_info":2,"uagb_excerpt":"by Andrea M. Darcy Overanalyse everything, to the endless exasperation of your friends? And miss out on opportunity when you get ‘analysis paralysis’ and don’t make a decision? Why do we overanalyse? Some of us have stronger intellectual tendencies naturally. Or it can be a learned behaviour to be analytical, if we grew up with…","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/114295","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/8"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=114295"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/114295\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":137693,"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/114295\/revisions\/137693"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/114299"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=114295"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=114295"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=114295"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}