{"id":114418,"date":"2019-07-18T11:00:12","date_gmt":"2019-07-18T10:00:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/?p=114418"},"modified":"2023-03-11T12:54:59","modified_gmt":"2023-03-11T12:54:59","slug":"being-honest-does-it-matter","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/being-honest-does-it-matter.htm","title":{"rendered":"Being Honest &#8211; Does it Matter as Much as You Think?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"p1\"><span style=\"color: #333399;\"><span style=\"color: #808080;\">by Andrea M. Darcy<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_114421\" style=\"width: 410px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/2253782686_e7c0a7c146.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-114421\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-114421\" src=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/2253782686_e7c0a7c146-400x300.jpg\" alt=\"being honest\" width=\"400\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/2253782686_e7c0a7c146-400x300.jpg 400w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/2253782686_e7c0a7c146.jpg 500w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-114421\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">By: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/elkin\/2253782686\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noreferrer\" \">Tobi Elkin<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\"><strong>Is being honest one of the most important things for you?<\/strong> <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Do you often find yourself <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/toxic-friends-what-to-do.htm\">accusing friends<\/a> of not being honest? Or is declaring a partner &#8216;a liar&#8217; the key reason you <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/leaving-a-relationship.htm\">leave most relationships<\/a>?<\/span><\/p>\n<h2 class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">What is honesty? <\/span><\/h2>\n<p class=\"p1\"><strong>People are neither simple nor mathematical equations. <\/strong>So neither is the concept of honesty.<\/p>\n<p>The<a href=\"https:\/\/dictionary.cambridge.org\/dictionary\/english\/honest\"> Cambridge dictionary<\/a> declares honesty as, &#8220;<strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/keeping-secrets-from-family.htm\">telling the truth<\/a> or able to be trusted and not likely to steal, cheat, or lie<\/strong>&#8220;. (Note the &#8216;not likely&#8217;, making honesty indefinite).<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.lexico.com\/en\/definition\/honest\">The Oxford dictionary<\/a> also feels it is about being &#8216;<strong>free of deceit, true and sincere<\/strong>&#8216;, but then goes on to add other possible definitions, including &#8216;<strong>morally correct or virtuous<\/strong>&#8216; and &#8216;<strong>done with good intentions even if unsuccessful or misguided<\/strong>&#8216;.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span class=\"s1\" style=\"color: #800080;\">Perhaps we should<a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/relationship-conflict-still-fighting.htm\"> spend less time arguing<\/a> about truth in our relationships and more time getting clear on what it is we are actually both fighting for. Is being honest is about trust? Being sincere? Not deceiving? Or is it about being morally correct? Or just having good intentions?\u00a0<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<h2 class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Are you even as honest as you think? <\/span><\/h2>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\"><strong>It could easily be argued that our culture is built on dishonesty.<\/strong> We can generously tweak a CV to<a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wrong-career-path.htm\"> land a job<\/a>, lie to get a refund and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/money-problems.htm\">save money<\/a> (&#8220;no, I didn&#8217;t wear it even once&#8221;), lie on our taxes, lie if <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/causes-of-exhaustion.htm\">we are tired<\/a> and don&#8217;t want to go out (&#8220;I have work to do, sorry&#8221;). We can do all this and still be seen as &#8216;an honest person&#8217;.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"color: #333399;\">And our little lies might be more about <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/fight-or-flight-response.htm\">our lizard brain&#8217;s survival mode<\/a> than any desire to be a bad person. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.nationalgeographic.com\/magazine\/article\/lying-hoax-false-fibs-science\">An article in the National Geographic<\/a> connects lying right back to the emergence of language. &#8220;The ability to manipulate others without using physical force likely conferred an advantage in the competition for resources and mates, akin to the evolution of deceptive strategies in the animal kingdom, such as camouflage.&#8221;<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<div id=\"attachment_114423\" style=\"width: 410px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/4627213177_3731e3f06d.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-114423\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-114423\" src=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/4627213177_3731e3f06d-400x300.jpg\" alt=\"being honest\" width=\"400\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/4627213177_3731e3f06d-400x300.jpg 400w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/4627213177_3731e3f06d.jpg 500w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-114423\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">By: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/adamkinney\/4627213177\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noreferrer\" \">Adam Kinney<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n<p><strong>In fact the article suggests that we learn to lie as young as<\/strong> aged two to five, when we discovering our independence.<\/p>\n<p><em>So then why, if we all are lying a bit, do we get so upset when we feel lied to?\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<h2 class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Is honesty really the problem? <\/span><\/h2>\n<p class=\"p1\"><em><span class=\"s1\">\u201cHe lied!\u201d \u201cShe\u2019s a fake!\u201d. These are things we can repeat over and over with great ferocity.\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\"><strong>Most of us, when we claim someone is \u2018dishonest\u2019, or \u2018such a liar\u2019, are really saying<\/strong>, he consciously chose to be dishonest. We are upset as we feel that <em>someone chose to hurt us or do us wrong<\/em>. <\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\" style=\"color: #800080;\">It\u2019s not all about the lie, it\u2019s that we<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/the-private-hell-of-rejection-why-does-it-keep-happening-to-you.htm\"><span class=\"s1\"> feel rejected<\/span><\/a><span class=\"s1\" style=\"color: #800080;\">, <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/feeling-let-down.htm\"><span class=\"s1\">let down<\/span><\/a><span class=\"s1\" style=\"color: #800080;\">, and even<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/7-surprising-reasons-feeling-lonely.htm\"><span class=\"s1\"> lonely <\/span><\/a><span class=\"s1\" style=\"color: #800080;\">and <\/span><span class=\"s1\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/why-do-i-feel-so-unloveable.htm\">unloved<\/a><\/span><span class=\"s1\" style=\"color: #800080;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<h2 class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">When an obsession with being honest hides other issues\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\"><strong>Yes, honesty is important\u00a0<\/strong>if we want to have <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/authentic-relationships.htm\">strong, healthy relationships<\/a>. So we do need to sometimes call someone else out if they have not been straight.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\"><strong>But if it\u2019s a pattern, if <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/feeling-let-down.htm\">everyone seems to always let you down<\/a>, if you spend all your time trying to dig out each tiny lie someone <\/strong>has made? <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling-psychologist-london.htm\">Psychologists<\/a> might argue that it is less about people being dishonest, and more about other hidden issues.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><span class=\"s1\" style=\"color: #993366;\">1. We mistake being honest with being right. <\/span><\/h3>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Always having arguments about \u2018what the truth is\u2019?<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Occasionally, after the fact, do you sometimes secretly realise that you yourself had changed the story a teeny tiny bit to win the argument?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\" style=\"color: #333399;\">&#8216;Wanting the truth\u2019 is the perfect excuse to exercise a deep need to be right that can stem from a childhood where we were punished if made mistakes. Or perhaps we <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/what-are-adverse-childhood-experiences-aces.htm\">experienced difficult things<\/a> that made us crave <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/controlling-behaviours-actually-guilty.htm\">control<\/a>. <\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<h3 class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\" style=\"color: #993366;\">2. We use \u2018the truth\u2019 to blame others or make ourselves a victim. <\/span><\/h3>\n<div id=\"attachment_114424\" style=\"width: 410px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/8742707669_49ffbc0673.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-114424\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-114424\" src=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/8742707669_49ffbc0673-400x265.jpg\" alt=\"being honest\" width=\"400\" height=\"265\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/8742707669_49ffbc0673-400x265.jpg 400w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/8742707669_49ffbc0673.jpg 500w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/8742707669_49ffbc0673-180x120.jpg 180w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-114424\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">By: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/kewl\/8742707669\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noreferrer\" \">Tristan Schmurr<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\"><strong>If bad things always happen to you because you \u2018told the truth\u2019, if it\u2019s you against the world? <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">It might be that you are holding on to your version of the truth and blocking out any <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/what-is-perspective.htm\">other perspective<\/a> in order to maintain <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/live-life-like-victim-12-ways-tell.htm\">victim status<\/a>. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/victim-mentality.htm\">Victim mentality<\/a> is actually about power. Afraid of asking for the attention and love we need, we <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/manipulative-behaviour-are-you-guilty.htm\">manipulate<\/a> it out of others by making them feel sorry for us.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\" style=\"color: #993366;\">3.We have unresolved and limiting core beliefs.\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Constantly <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/getting-over-a-breakup.htm\">break up with partners<\/a> because &#8216;he was a liar&#8217;, &#8216;she wasn&#8217;t trustworthy&#8217;?\u00a0 You might be using the concept of honesty as a way to perpetuate <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/examples-of-core-beliefs.htm\">core beliefs<\/a> you hold about the world. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\"><strong>For example, if as a child you decided <\/strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/something-bad-is-going-to-happen.htm\">the world is a dangerous place<\/a>, you can live out this belief by always picking people who are, actually, unsafe. On a certain level it will be clear from the start that the other person is not trustworthy and dishonest.\u00a0 Perhaps everyone around you even told you. But later you will claim \u2018you didn\u2019t see it coming\u2019.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\" style=\"color: #993366;\">4. The truth becomes a way to avoid the intimacy we are terrified of. <\/span><\/h3>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Always the one who actually tells someone they are fat and need to go on a diet? who lets out the<a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/keeping-secrets-from-family.htm\"> long held family secret<\/a> at a reunion? Or goes to HR and gets a<a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/is-dealing-with-difficult-colleagues-affecting-your-mental-wellbeing.htm\"> colleague<\/a> fired?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_114439\" style=\"width: 410px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/5323434756_8a8a4d5f30.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-114439\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-114439\" src=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/5323434756_8a8a4d5f30-400x272.jpg\" alt=\"being honest\" width=\"400\" height=\"272\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/5323434756_8a8a4d5f30-400x272.jpg 400w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/5323434756_8a8a4d5f30.jpg 499w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-114439\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">By: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/newtown_grafitti\/5323434756\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noreferrer\" \">Newtown grafitti<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\"><strong>Sometimes it really is necessary to be that person bravely telling the truth. But if you are actually &#8216;being honest&#8217; <\/strong>about other people&#8217;s business, things that are really up to them to decide? You might be using truth as a way to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/fear-of-intimacy.htm\">avoid intimacy<\/a> by upsetting and scaring off others.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h2 class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\"><span style=\"color: #333333;\">Why are some people unable to be honest?\u00a0<\/span><br \/>\n<\/span><\/h2>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Barring the minimal (despite the internet hype) numbers of people born with <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/is-my-boss-a-sociopath.htm\">sociopathic tendencies<\/a>, we are not born with a need to pass our lives twisting the truth. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\"><strong>It\u2019s something we learn from the environments we grow up in.<\/strong> Perhaps the adults around us lied so much it seemed normal and the thing to do. <\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\" style=\"color: #333399;\">Or perhaps <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/what-is-anxious-attachment-style.htm\">our parents only showed affection if we were good and pleasing<\/a>, so we learned to create answers, aka lie, to feel safe and approved of. <\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<h2 class=\"p1\">The most important time to be honest?<\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"color: #333399;\">Many of us lie more to one person than any other. And that person is ourselves.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><strong>Why do we lie to ourselves? It&#8217;s a<\/strong> psychological defence. And <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/defence-mechanisms.htm\">defence mechanisms<\/a> are about avoiding emotional pain.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\"><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/denial-in-psychology.htm\">Denial<\/a> is this sort of defence. We deny we had<\/strong> an <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/what-are-adverse-childhood-experiences-aces.htm\">unhappy childhood<\/a>, and deny it enough we ourselves believe the replacement story we create. And we carry this habit of denial into the present, too. We deny to ourselves <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/leave-unhappy-relationship.htm\">how unhappy we are with our partner<\/a>, or how lost we feel.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2>The fastest way to be more honest?<\/h2>\n<p><strong>If we learn to stop<\/strong> lying to ourselves, we start to naturally be more honest with others.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><strong>To be honest with ourselves we need to be<\/strong> vulnerable. It means we must process old hurt.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><strong>It also means we need to let other people down in order to take care of ourselves, which can be<\/strong> quite a learning curve if you&#8217;ve spent <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/great-codependency-hoax-codependent.htm\">a lifetime pleasing others<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><strong>And we must take the time to honestly get to know ourselves and<\/strong> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/self-compassion.htm\">be compassionate<\/a> with ourselves. The more we can accept who and what we are, the less we have a need to hide, the less we need to be dishonest.<\/p>\n<p><strong><span style=\"color: #800080;\">Ready to be your true, honest self and learn to trust others, despite their flaws? We connect you to<span style=\"color: #666699;\"><a style=\"color: #666699;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/\"> top central London therapists<\/a><\/span> with years of experience. Or use our booking site to find <span style=\"color: #666699;\"><a style=\"color: #666699;\" href=\"https:\/\/harleytherapy.com\/?utm_source=Harley%20Therapy%20Blog&amp;utm_content=Post%20End\">UK-wide registered therapists<\/a><\/span> an <span style=\"color: #666699;\"><a style=\"color: #666699;\" href=\"https:\/\/harleytherapy.com\/therapists?location_type=skype&amp;utm_source=Harley%20Therapy%20Blog&amp;utm_content=Post%20End\">online counselling<\/a><\/span> now.\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000080;\"><strong><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-114425 alignleft\" src=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/Screenshot-2019-02-23-at-18.17.37-395x400.png\" alt=\"Andrea Blundell\" width=\"175\" height=\"177\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/Screenshot-2019-02-23-at-18.17.37-395x400.png 395w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/Screenshot-2019-02-23-at-18.17.37-768x778.png 768w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/Screenshot-2019-02-23-at-18.17.37-500x506.png 500w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/Screenshot-2019-02-23-at-18.17.37-50x50.png 50w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/Screenshot-2019-02-23-at-18.17.37.png 792w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 175px) 100vw, 175px\" \/><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span style=\"color: #333399;\"><b>Andrea M. Darcy <\/b>is a mental health and wellbeing expert and personal development teacher with training in person-centred counselling and coaching, as well as a popular psychology writer. Follow her on Instagram for useful life tips @am_darcy<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000080;\"><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>by Andrea M. Darcy Is being honest one of the most important things for you? Do you often find yourself accusing friends of not being honest? Or is declaring a partner &#8216;a liar&#8217; the key reason you leave most relationships? What is honesty? People are neither simple nor mathematical equations. So neither is the concept [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":114424,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"yes","_lmt_disable":"no","footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[379,448],"class_list":["post-114418","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-relationships","tag-relationships","tag-trust","has_thumb"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v27.3 (Yoast SEO v27.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Being Honest - Does it Matter as Much as You Think? - Harley Therapy\u2122 Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Is being honest one of the most important things for you? To the point your obsession with the truth ruins relationships and friendships?\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/being-honest-does-it-matter.htm\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_GB\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Being Honest - Does it Matter as Much as You Think?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Is being honest one of the most important things for you? To the point your obsession with the truth ruins relationships and friendships?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/being-honest-does-it-matter.htm\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Harley Therapy\u2122 Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/harleytherapy\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2019-07-18T10:00:12+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2023-03-11T12:54:59+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/8742707669_49ffbc0673.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"500\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"331\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Andrea M. Darcy\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@https:\/\/twitter.com\/AndreaMDarcy\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@HarleyTherapy\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Andrea M. Darcy\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"7 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\\\/counselling\\\/being-honest-does-it-matter.htm\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\\\/counselling\\\/being-honest-does-it-matter.htm\",\"name\":\"Being Honest - Does it Matter as Much as You Think? - Harley Therapy\u2122 Blog\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\\\/counselling\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\\\/counselling\\\/being-honest-does-it-matter.htm#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\\\/counselling\\\/being-honest-does-it-matter.htm#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\\\/counselling\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/8742707669_49ffbc0673.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2019-07-18T10:00:12+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2023-03-11T12:54:59+00:00\",\"description\":\"Is being honest one of the most important things for you? To the point your obsession with the truth ruins relationships and friendships?\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\\\/counselling\\\/being-honest-does-it-matter.htm#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-GB\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\\\/counselling\\\/being-honest-does-it-matter.htm\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-GB\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\\\/counselling\\\/being-honest-does-it-matter.htm#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\\\/counselling\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/8742707669_49ffbc0673.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\\\/counselling\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/8742707669_49ffbc0673.jpg\",\"width\":500,\"height\":331,\"caption\":\"By: Tristan Schmurr\"},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\\\/counselling\\\/being-honest-does-it-matter.htm#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\\\/counselling\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Being Honest &#8211; Does it Matter as Much as You Think?\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\\\/counselling\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\\\/\",\"name\":\"Harley Therapy\u2122 Blog\",\"description\":\"Self-Help for Better Emotional Health\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\\\/counselling\\\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\\\/counselling\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-GB\"},{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\\\/counselling\\\/#organization\",\"name\":\"Harley Therapy - Psychotherapy & Counselling\",\"alternateName\":\"Harley Therapy\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\\\/\",\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-GB\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\\\/counselling\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/logo\\\/image\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\\\/images\\\/logo.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\\\/counselling\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/cropped-harleytherapypsychotherapycounsellinglogo.png\",\"width\":512,\"height\":512,\"caption\":\"Harley Therapy - Psychotherapy & Counselling\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\\\/counselling\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/logo\\\/image\\\/\"},\"sameAs\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/www.facebook.com\\\/harleytherapy\",\"https:\\\/\\\/x.com\\\/HarleyTherapy\",\"https:\\\/\\\/www.linkedin.com\\\/company\\\/harley-therapy\",\"https:\\\/\\\/www.youtube.com\\\/c\\\/HarleyTherapyCoUk\",\"https:\\\/\\\/www.instagram.com\\\/harleytherapy\\\/\",\"https:\\\/\\\/uk.trustpilot.com\\\/review.harleytherapy.co.uk\",\"https:\\\/\\\/www.reviews.co.uk\\\/company-reviews\\\/store\\\/harleytherapy-co-uk\",\"https:\\\/\\\/www.crunchbase.com\\\/organization\\\/harley-therapy-psychotherapy-counselling\"]}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO Premium plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Being Honest - Does it Matter as Much as You Think? - Harley Therapy\u2122 Blog","description":"Is being honest one of the most important things for you? To the point your obsession with the truth ruins relationships and friendships?","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/being-honest-does-it-matter.htm","og_locale":"en_GB","og_type":"article","og_title":"Being Honest - Does it Matter as Much as You Think?","og_description":"Is being honest one of the most important things for you? To the point your obsession with the truth ruins relationships and friendships?","og_url":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/being-honest-does-it-matter.htm","og_site_name":"Harley Therapy\u2122 Blog","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/harleytherapy","article_published_time":"2019-07-18T10:00:12+00:00","article_modified_time":"2023-03-11T12:54:59+00:00","og_image":[{"width":500,"height":331,"url":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/8742707669_49ffbc0673.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Andrea M. Darcy","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@https:\/\/twitter.com\/AndreaMDarcy","twitter_site":"@HarleyTherapy","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Andrea M. Darcy","Est. reading time":"7 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/being-honest-does-it-matter.htm","url":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/being-honest-does-it-matter.htm","name":"Being Honest - Does it Matter as Much as You Think? - Harley Therapy\u2122 Blog","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/being-honest-does-it-matter.htm#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/being-honest-does-it-matter.htm#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/8742707669_49ffbc0673.jpg","datePublished":"2019-07-18T10:00:12+00:00","dateModified":"2023-03-11T12:54:59+00:00","description":"Is being honest one of the most important things for you? To the point your obsession with the truth ruins relationships and friendships?","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/being-honest-does-it-matter.htm#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-GB","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/being-honest-does-it-matter.htm"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-GB","@id":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/being-honest-does-it-matter.htm#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/8742707669_49ffbc0673.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/8742707669_49ffbc0673.jpg","width":500,"height":331,"caption":"By: Tristan Schmurr"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/being-honest-does-it-matter.htm#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Being Honest &#8211; Does it Matter as Much as You Think?"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/","name":"Harley Therapy\u2122 Blog","description":"Self-Help for Better Emotional Health","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-GB"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/#organization","name":"Harley Therapy - Psychotherapy & Counselling","alternateName":"Harley Therapy","url":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-GB","@id":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/images\/logo.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/cropped-harleytherapypsychotherapycounsellinglogo.png","width":512,"height":512,"caption":"Harley Therapy - Psychotherapy & Counselling"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/harleytherapy","https:\/\/x.com\/HarleyTherapy","https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/company\/harley-therapy","https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/c\/HarleyTherapyCoUk","https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/harleytherapy\/","https:\/\/uk.trustpilot.com\/review.harleytherapy.co.uk","https:\/\/www.reviews.co.uk\/company-reviews\/store\/harleytherapy-co-uk","https:\/\/www.crunchbase.com\/organization\/harley-therapy-psychotherapy-counselling"]}]}},"modified_by":"Louise","uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/8742707669_49ffbc0673.jpg",500,331,false],"thumbnail":["https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/8742707669_49ffbc0673-150x150.jpg",150,150,true],"medium":["https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/8742707669_49ffbc0673-400x265.jpg",400,265,true],"medium_large":["https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/8742707669_49ffbc0673.jpg",500,331,false],"large":["https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/8742707669_49ffbc0673-500x331.jpg",500,331,true],"1536x1536":["https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/8742707669_49ffbc0673.jpg",500,331,false],"2048x2048":["https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/8742707669_49ffbc0673.jpg",500,331,false],"post-thumbnail":["https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/8742707669_49ffbc0673-200x200.jpg",200,200,true],"featured":["https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/8742707669_49ffbc0673-200x200.jpg",200,200,true],"related":["https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/8742707669_49ffbc0673-180x120.jpg",180,120,true],"widgetthumb":["https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/8742707669_49ffbc0673-50x50.jpg",50,50,true],"slider":["https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/8742707669_49ffbc0673-500x200.jpg",500,200,true]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"Andrea M. Darcy","author_link":"#"},"uagb_comment_info":2,"uagb_excerpt":"by Andrea M. Darcy Is being honest one of the most important things for you? Do you often find yourself accusing friends of not being honest? Or is declaring a partner &#8216;a liar&#8217; the key reason you leave most relationships? What is honesty? People are neither simple nor mathematical equations. So neither is the concept&hellip;","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/114418","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/8"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=114418"}],"version-history":[{"count":14,"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/114418\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":138673,"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/114418\/revisions\/138673"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/114424"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=114418"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=114418"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=114418"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}