{"id":11442,"date":"2015-03-24T11:00:05","date_gmt":"2015-03-24T11:00:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/?p=11442"},"modified":"2022-01-19T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2022-01-19T12:00:00","slug":"saying-no","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/saying-no.htm","title":{"rendered":"The Psychological Cost of Never Saying No"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"saying<\/a>

By: marc falardeau<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n

No. Such a powerful little word, and as toddlers we all seem to have no trouble using it. No, you can’t have my toy, and no, I don’t want to eat those vegetables.<\/p>\n

And yet somewhere along the line, many of us turn into adults who seem to have an absolute allergy to saying no. <\/strong>Or if we do say it, it’s a watered down, weak version that nobody takes seriously.<\/p>\n

We say yes to events we don’t want to attend, favours we don’t want to do, <\/strong>nights out with people we aren’t sure we even like, food we don’t really want, and jobs we hate… and the list goes on.<\/p>\n

How does one end up someone who can’t say no to others? And at what cost to themselves? <\/strong><\/p>\n

Why you can’t say no when you need to<\/h3>\n

The inability to say no is directly linked to the need to seek approval from others. But how do we end up the sort of adults who crave the positive opinions of others?<\/p>\n

Often it stems from a childhood where we didn’t feel we could get love simply by being ourselves. <\/strong>Somehow, despite their very best intentions, our parents or caretakers left us feeling we had to conform or perform to ‘earn’ their affections.<\/p>\n

Here are examples of parenting that can leave you a people pleaser:<\/p>\n