{"id":114891,"date":"2019-09-10T11:04:20","date_gmt":"2019-09-10T10:04:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/?p=114891"},"modified":"2022-11-02T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2022-11-02T12:00:00","slug":"how-to-stop-being-depressed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/how-to-stop-being-depressed.htm","title":{"rendered":"How to Stop Being Depressed"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"how

By: Kevin Dooley<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n

by Andrea M. Darcy<\/span><\/p>\n

Struggling with depression<\/a>, and just want it to go away? Can’t stop thinking, “How can I stop being depressed<\/a>?”<\/span><\/p>\n

How to stop being depressed<\/span><\/h2>\n

Depression<\/a> is not, (contrary to those around you who keep saying such stuffs)<\/strong>, solved if you \u2018just be positive<\/a>!\u2019, or \u2018don\u2019t let it get you down!\u201d.<\/span><\/p>\n

Often a mix of<\/strong> genetics leanings, a challenging childhood<\/a> that affected the ways you think and behave<\/a>, and current day stress<\/a>, depression is complicated.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

So no, you cannot control depression or decide exactly when it will end. If that was the case, then nobody would be depressed.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

On a good note, there are things that can help you manage better when depressed, perhaps shorten the duration of <\/span><\/strong>your depression, <\/span>and mean you are less likely to fall into a continuous cycle of depression<\/a>. So where to start?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

1. Separate ‘you’ from the depression.\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n

The easiest way to feel worse and worse is to identify yourself with the depression.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Depression is a state of being. It\u2019s not who you are. It’s a thing you are going through. And when we go through things, we eventually<\/span><\/span> exi<\/span><\/span>t<\/span><\/span> them. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

TRY THIS : See if you can \u2018catch\u2019 the depression. When a dark thought<\/a> passes, instead of panicking<\/a>, welcome it and ‘talk’ to it. “Hello depression. Thank you for sharing, but I’ll leave that thought as yours, not mine”. Sounds silly? Sure, but if you start to feel better, who cares?\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Or try mindfulness mediation<\/a> using our free how-to guide<\/a>. The more you practise, the more you\u2019ll be able to literally feel that depression is something moving through you, and not you at all. <\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

2. Stop focussing on feeling better.<\/span><\/h3>\n

Think about those<\/strong> people telling you to \u2018just smile more\u2019, etcetera. How does that make you feel? Frustrated and worse. It\u2019s the same if you tell yourself<\/em> to \u2018just get over it\u2019.<\/p>\n

The problem with an obsessive focus on \u2018feeling better\u2019 is that it is a <\/strong>judgement<\/a>. It insinuates the way you are right now is unacceptable and bad. And judgement triggers deep feelings of shame,<\/a>\u00a0 the grand master of negative emotions, like a heavy anchor pulling you further and further down.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

TRY THIS: Try saying to yourself, \u201cI\u2019m depressed right now, and that\u2019s okay\u2019. How does it feel? And consider statistics — \u00a0according to the NHS<\/a>, over one in three people in the UK are suffering anxiety and\/or depression<\/a> at any given time. <\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

There\u2019s nothing that strange, or bad, or faulty about about being depressed, it\u2019s a side effect of our modern lives. You are sad<\/a> and tired<\/a>. And that\u2019s okay. <\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

3. Stop fuelling your depression. <\/span><\/h3>\n
\"how<\/a>

By: Favi Santos<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n

Yes, that means forget that idea of drowning your sorrows in<\/strong> alcohol<\/a> or masking it with drugs<\/a>. They are proven chemical depressants. No matter how good the high, it\u2019s scientific that you will feel like crap after.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

What does help change depression is<\/strong> to take a tip from CBT therapy<\/a> and its idea of ‘behavioural interventions<\/a>‘.\u00a0 <\/span><\/p>\n

\n

This means we focus less on our feelings and more on our actions and behaviours. The more we can choose different actions despite<\/span> our feelings, the faster we can move through depression.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

So be honest about the other things that fuel your depression.<\/strong> The casual sex<\/a> with an ex or the massive sugar binges<\/a>, listening to that really sad song on repeat, or calling that family member that is always insensitive<\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

TRY THIS: Make a list of the things that make your depression worse. Put people, places, and activities on it. Now make a list of all the things that actually feel safe or okay to you, your \u2018wellbeing activities<\/a>\u2019. This can be as simple as making your favourite salad, watching a comedy movie, or having a bath. Each time you want to do a negative action, swap it out for a wellbeing action instead.\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

4. Move, and then move some more. <\/span><\/h3>\n

There is a story, who knows if it is true, but it should be. It goes like this. A psychotherapist<\/strong> is visited by a client who says, “I\u2019m going to kill myself right now<\/a>“. <\/span><\/p>\n

“Great,” the psychotherapist says, “No problem, but you have to walk around the block first.” <\/span><\/p>\n

And of course after that bit of exercise, the client no longer wants to end things.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Remember, depression has a physical and chemical side to it.<\/strong> And exercise affects our brain chemicals and physical sensations. No big surprise research now connects exercise to better moods<\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

TRY THIS – Too down for the usual run? Walk. Dance class at the gym seem too overwhelming? Put on your favourite (not sad) song, close the curtains, and dance. Can’t even move you are so depressed? Shake your hands and feet until you start to feel energy. Then sit up. read our article on ‘How to Exercise When Depressed<\/a>‘ for more inspiration.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Want to really get this to work? Get yourself out the door and near some trees. Nature is now proven to improve our moods<\/a>.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

5. Connect. <\/span><\/h3>\n
\"how<\/a>

By: Victoria BlackStone<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n

The word connect can seem overwhelming when we are depressed and we want to hide under the duvet for, well, forever.<\/strong> Not\u00a0talk\u00a0<\/em>to people!\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

But connection<\/a> doesn’t need to involve a long talk with someone you know. <\/span><\/p>\n

\n

It’s simply about recognising the similarity between you and other humans.\u00a0 And <\/span>reminding your brain that despite what your depression wants you to think, you are not totally alone<\/a>, totally different, and beyond comprehension. You are pretty much like everyone else. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

TRY THIS: It\u2019s as simple as walking down the street and making eye contact with someone, even just a baby in a stroller. Or having some inane conversation with a cashier at the supermarket about the weather, or even listening to other people complain. Suddenly we are back in the world of the living and like everyone else, and not a weird monster like our thoughts told us.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

When you feel better, consider signing up to volunteer. Volunteering is shown to help moods<\/a>, and it’s a great way to gain new perspective<\/a>.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

And yes, get that support. <\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n

When we are knee-deep in depression it feels unbearable to<\/strong> either let people know, or to have to explain. And it\u2019s okay to spend some time not talking, if that feels best for you.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

But when support really matters is if your <\/strong>thoughts are becoming menacing<\/a> and you are considering\u00a0 hurting yourself or others<\/a>.<\/strong> If you don\u2019t want to talk to someone you know, or don\u2019t feel that anyone you know is ever helpful but rather the opposite? Then do call a helpline<\/a>. That is what they are there for (try our list of UK helplines).<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

\n

The volunteers at helplines have devoted time to training in how to help. They WANT to talk to you. It\u2019s what they have chosen to do with their free time. <\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

As soon as you feel a bit better, it is a GREAT idea to seek proper support. Yes, as in <\/strong>counselling<\/a>. The problem with cycles of depression is that when we are down, we don\u2019t have the wherewithal to book counselling. When we feel better, we think we don\u2019t need it. But push yourself to make a first session. See talk therapy<\/a> like vitamins — it’s a preventative.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Time to stop the cycle of highs and lows? We connect you with London’s top talk therapists who help with depression<\/a>. Or use our booking site<\/span><\/a> to find a UK-wide registered therapist<\/a><\/span> or online counselling<\/span> <\/a>that you can access from anywhere.\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"AndreaAndrea M. Darcy<\/strong> is the editor and lead writer of this site, trained in coaching and person-centred counselling. She knows all too well the ins and outs of depression.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

by Andrea M. Darcy Struggling with depression, and just want it to go away? Can’t stop thinking, “How can I stop being depressed?” How to stop being depressed Depression is not, (contrary to those around you who keep saying such stuffs), solved if you \u2018just be positive!\u2019, or \u2018don\u2019t let it get you down!\u201d. Often […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":114897,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"yes","_lmt_disable":"no","footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[378,451],"class_list":["post-114891","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-depression","tag-depression","tag-low-moods","has_thumb"],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Stop Being Depressed - Harley Therapy\u2122 Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"How to stop being depressed? 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Darcy","author_link":"#"},"uagb_comment_info":4,"uagb_excerpt":"by Andrea M. Darcy Struggling with depression, and just want it to go away? Can’t stop thinking, “How can I stop being depressed?” How to stop being depressed Depression is not, (contrary to those around you who keep saying such stuffs), solved if you \u2018just be positive!\u2019, or \u2018don\u2019t let it get you down!\u201d. Often…","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/114891","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/8"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=114891"}],"version-history":[{"count":19,"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/114891\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":137047,"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/114891\/revisions\/137047"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/114897"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=114891"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=114891"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=114891"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}