{"id":119980,"date":"2020-08-04T11:00:28","date_gmt":"2020-08-04T10:00:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/?p=119980"},"modified":"2023-03-06T09:59:49","modified_gmt":"2023-03-06T09:59:49","slug":"feeling-hurt","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/feeling-hurt.htm","title":{"rendered":"9 Ways to Handle Feeling Hurt"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"feeling<\/a>

By: francesca frakokot<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n

by Andrea M. Darcy<\/span><\/p>\n

Has someone you loved betrayed you<\/a>? A friend<\/a> left you feeling rejected<\/a>? Or a colleague<\/a> let you down? What can you do if you are left feeling hurt?<\/p>\n

What to Do If You Are Feeling Hurt<\/h2>\n

1. Let yourself feel what you need to feel. <\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n

Repressing our emotions<\/a> can be like keeping a beach ball under water<\/strong> — it takes a lot of effort, and eventually the ball pops up. Suddenly we are snapping at our friends, or getting really angry about something small at work. <\/span><\/p>\n

Or we are using unhealthy habits to hide from our emotions<\/strong>, like drinking too much<\/a>, casual sex<\/a>, or recreational drugs<\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

TRY THIS:<\/strong> Mindfulness<\/a> is a powerful tool to recognise and move emotions. You train your mind to tap into the here and now despite your racing thoughts. Read our free and easy guide to mindfulness<\/a> to get started.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

2. Find healthy ways to express your hurt. <\/span><\/h3>\n

Of course taking time to feel what you need to feel does not mean wallowing.<\/strong> Sitting for days and weeks in our feelings just leads to the victim mentality<\/a>, which stops us from healing. <\/span><\/p>\n

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And it definitely doesn\u2019t mean spattering our hurt all over others<\/a><\/span>. Yes, you might be furious or despondent. But lashing out often just leads to more hurt.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

It\u2019s when we unpack hurt, <\/strong>get to the bottom of it, and learn from it that we can then turn hurt into a step forward. We learn what we do or don\u2019t want from relationships<\/a>, or how to set a boundary.<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

TRY THIS:<\/strong> \u201cFree write\u201d out your feelings<\/a>. Write whatever comes, without judgement, letting yourself be as racy and wild as you want. Then rip up the pages. Or write a letter to the other person saying all<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

\"hurt

By: Denise Krebs<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n

you wish you had of (don\u2019t send it though!). If you hate writing, try a timed rant. In a private space, set a timer for four minutes, and speak out loud all the things you want to say, no matter how silly or dramatic. Try to keep going until the time is up.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

3. Question your hurt feelings.<\/span><\/h3>\n

Does your hurt seem huge, boundless? Have friends hinted you are reacting <\/strong>more than you should be?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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If we have difficult past experiences<\/a> we never worked through, those feelings will still be with us, and present day hurts can layer on top. <\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

You don\u2019t just react to your latest date standing you up. You take all the rage<\/a> from the day a<\/strong> parent didn\u2019t show up to take you for the weekend, or the time a friend at school decided they didn\u2019t want to be your friend anymore, and express that, too. <\/span><\/p>\n

TRY THIS:<\/strong> Counselling and coaching<\/a> are all about good questions<\/a>. Ask them of your hurt feelings. If you don’t know how to ask a question, try to start it with ‘what’ or ‘how’ over ‘why’ (why questions just tend to be rabbit holes of self-blame<\/a>, so best avoided). Try things like: <\/span><\/em><\/p>\n