{"id":120336,"date":"2020-09-08T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2020-09-08T10:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/?p=120336"},"modified":"2023-03-07T15:18:04","modified_gmt":"2023-03-07T15:18:04","slug":"feeling-regretful-bad-choices","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/feeling-regretful-bad-choices.htm","title":{"rendered":"Always Feeling Regretful? When It’s More Than Bad Choices"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"feeling<\/a>

By: Jason Hickey<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n

by Andrea M. Darcy<\/span><\/p>\n

Left feeling regretful with every decision you make? <\/strong>With a sense of sorrow<\/a> for all the things that might have been?<\/span><\/p>\n

Is regret always a bad thing?<\/span><\/h2>\n

Sometimes we really do make a bad decision, and<\/strong> our regret<\/strong> guides us to change for the better. If we, say, lie to someone we love<\/a> and feel terrible after, we know not do it again.<\/span><\/p>\n

Why do I feel regretful with every decision I make?\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n

But why do some of us experience a constant state of regret, where we feel we are always messing up? <\/span><\/span><\/span>Psychologists have several theories about regret.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

1. You are an idealist. <\/span><\/h3>\n

Research around regrets show that we tend to forgive ourselves for<\/strong> mistakes we actually make. It’s idealism that drives us to be mired in regrets.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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A study looking at how regret relates to self-concept<\/a><\/span> found that, \u201cpeople\u2019s most enduring regrets stem more often from discrepancies between their actual and ideal selves. People are quicker to take steps to cope with failures to live up to their duties and responsibilities than their failures to live up to their goals and aspirations.”<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

So we are likely to forgive ourselves fo<\/strong>r buying a car that turns out to be a bit of a lemon, but be <\/span>endlessly regretful for, say, not trying to make a career out of singing.<\/span><\/p>\n