{"id":120406,"date":"2020-09-10T11:00:58","date_gmt":"2020-09-10T10:00:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/?p=120406"},"modified":"2023-03-08T13:37:08","modified_gmt":"2023-03-08T13:37:08","slug":"coercive-control","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/coercive-control.htm","title":{"rendered":"What is Coercive Control, and Are You Dealing With It?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"coerciveby Andrea M. Darcy<\/span><\/p>\n

In a relationship where you constantly feel nervous, afraid, and trapped?<\/strong> But seeing as the other person isn’t actually hurting you, you tell yourself it isn’t really abuse? It\u2019s time to learn about coercive control.<\/p>\n

What is coercive control?<\/h2>\n

Coercive control is now legally recognised as a type of abuse.<\/p>\n

It involves someone you are personally connected to engaging in controlling patterns of behaviour that leave you feeling afraid<\/a>, dependent<\/a>, trapped, and alone<\/a>.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Examples of coercive control<\/h2>\n

Monitoring:<\/strong> <\/span>making you tell them where you are all the time, calling you non stop and punishing you if you don\u2019t answer, looking at your social media accounts.<\/p>\n

Threatening:<\/strong><\/span> to break your things, to hurt or even kill your pet or your child, to hurt themselves, to hurt you, or leave you, or ruin you somehow.<\/p>\n

Damaging<\/strong>:<\/span> your things, your self-esteem<\/a>, your sense of self<\/a>, your friendships, your family relationships, your capacity to earn a living.<\/p>\n

Belittling:<\/strong><\/span> putting you down, telling others negative things about you.<\/p>\n

Isolating:<\/span><\/strong> refusing to let you contact certain people, not letting you go out, cutting you off from or turning you against your family, or turning people you liked against you.<\/p>\n

Forcing:<\/span> <\/strong>making you do things you don\u2019t want to do, even things that are illegal. Making you do sexual things you don\u2019t want to do, such as being the subject of nude photos.<\/p>\n

Confusing:<\/span><\/strong> convincing you did something you don\u2019t remember doing, or changing the story of what they did or didn’t do until you question your own memories.<\/p>\n

\"coercive

By: Georgie Pauwels<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n

Controlling:<\/span> <\/strong>what you eat, wear, say, if you go out, and where. How you clean, cook, perform sexually. Taking control of your finances and dictating what you can spend or even what money you have at all.<\/p>\n

But they haven\u2019t physically hurt me<\/h2>\n

This is the fine line which sadly means many stay in<\/strong> abusive relationships. And it’s also the fine line that formerly left abusers to walk free from legal charges against them, only to then end up committing physical harm after all, or, in worse case scenarios, murder.<\/p>\n

But coercive control is now a recognised crime in the United Kingdom<\/strong>, and has been since December 2015.<\/p>\n

And harm is not just physical, it can be psychological. In fact psychological wounds can take far longer to heal and navigate than physical injuries.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Coercive control and the law in the UK<\/h2>\n

It’s legally coercive control and a crime in the UK if:<\/strong><\/p>\n