{"id":121085,"date":"2020-11-26T11:00:35","date_gmt":"2020-11-26T11:00:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/?p=121085"},"modified":"2023-03-08T15:58:03","modified_gmt":"2023-03-08T15:58:03","slug":"psychological-flexibility","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/psychological-flexibility.htm","title":{"rendered":"Psychological Flexibility &#8211; What it Is and Why You Need It"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"attachment_121087\" style=\"width: 410px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-121087\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-121087\" src=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/david-matos-xtLIgpytpck-unsplash-1-400x266.jpg\" alt=\"psychological flexibility\" width=\"400\" height=\"266\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/david-matos-xtLIgpytpck-unsplash-1-400x266.jpg 400w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/david-matos-xtLIgpytpck-unsplash-1-500x333.jpg 500w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/david-matos-xtLIgpytpck-unsplash-1-180x120.jpg 180w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/david-matos-xtLIgpytpck-unsplash-1.jpg 709w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><p id=\"caption-attachment-121087\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">photo by: David Matos<\/p><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"color: #333399;\">by Andrea M. Darcy<\/span><\/p>\n<p><strong>Psychological flexibility is arguably <\/strong>a fundamental aspect of good <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/what-is-mental-health.htm\">mental health<\/a>. But what is it exactly, and how can you have more of it?<\/p>\n<h2>What is psychological flexibility?<\/h2>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"color: #333399;\">&#8220;A healthy person is someone who can manage themselves in the uncertain, unpredictable world around them, where novelty and change are the norm rather than the exception.&#8221; (Kashdan and Rottenberg, 2010). [1]<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"color: #333333;\"><strong>Psychological flexibility means we can stay present with<\/strong> and adapt to the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/i-hate-change-management.htm\">challenges of life<\/a>. We take useful action despite our thoughts and feelings, and stay true to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/values-and-beliefs.htm\">our values<\/a>.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><strong>This can include things like:<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>knowing what to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/cant-focus-might-one-psychological-health-conditions.htm\">focus<\/a> on and what to let go of<\/li>\n<li>recognising when our behaviours aren\u2019t helpful and changing them<\/li>\n<li>seeing when we might be wrong and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/what-is-perspective.htm\">changing perspective<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/life-balance-tips-have-you-tried-this.htm\">finding balance<\/a> between the different parts of our lives<\/li>\n<li>continuing towards our goals despite setbacks<\/li>\n<li>finding creative ways to deal with challenges without compromising our values.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2>And now for psychological\u00a0<em>inflexibility<\/em><\/h2>\n<p><strong>Not sure if you are or aren&#8217;t<\/strong> psychologically flexible?<\/p>\n<p>When trying to understand flexibility,<strong> it<\/strong> <strong>helps to consider the opposite, psychological rigidity. <\/strong>Often a part of mental health issues or disorders, it can look like:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>a refusal to change our behaviours or see what we are doing that is causing our life to be difficult<\/li>\n<li>using \u2018avoidance coping\u2019 (putting our head in the sand instead of dealing with things)<\/li>\n<li>overthinking and worrying instead of adapting<\/li>\n<li>over focussing on some areas of life and neglecting others<\/li>\n<li>sticking to ideas even if we don\u2019t know we believe in them<\/li>\n<li>being knocked over by stress<\/li>\n<li>unable to plan and work towards goals.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2>Forget being nice<\/h2>\n<div id=\"attachment_121099\" style=\"width: 410px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-121099\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-121099\" src=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/niels-jilderda-cb8ITRUet0Q-unsplash-400x225.jpg\" alt=\"psychological flexibility\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/niels-jilderda-cb8ITRUet0Q-unsplash-400x225.jpg 400w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/niels-jilderda-cb8ITRUet0Q-unsplash-500x281.jpg 500w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/niels-jilderda-cb8ITRUet0Q-unsplash.jpg 709w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><p id=\"caption-attachment-121099\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">photo by Niels Jilderda<\/p><\/div>\n<p><strong>Psychological flexibility doesn\u2019t mean you are always nice <\/strong>and accommodating. Remember, it means that you are able to discern the best approach to a situation. Sometimes <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/anger-management-counselling-london.htm\">unpleasant emotions and anger<\/a> help us be more assertive, or help us create change in the world.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"color: #333399;\">A <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><a style=\"color: #333399; text-decoration: underline;\" href=\"https:\/\/pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/18399883\/\">study looking at healthy emotional responses<\/a><\/span> asked participants to role play getting rent out of a tenant who hadn\u2019t been paying. The participants who worked at getting into an angry mood performed better at the task. [2]<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<h2>The benefits of psychological flexibility<\/h2>\n<p><strong>The recent Covid-19 pandemic provided a perfect laboratory for examining <\/strong>the role of psychological flexibility in the face of mass stress.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"color: #800080;\"> A <a style=\"color: #800080;\" href=\"https:\/\/pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/32834970\/\">UK study<\/a> found that those who exhibited psychological flexibility during the pandemic had higher levels of wellbeing, lower anxiety, and lower Covid-19 related distress. [3]<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>As well as less <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/anxiety-counselling-london.htm\">anxiety and low moods<\/a> we can:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/how-to-cope-life-is-crazy.htm\">cope better<\/a><\/li>\n<li>have <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/healthy-relationships-is-it-one.htm\">better relationships<\/a><\/li>\n<li>be proactive instead of reactive<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/emotional-regulation-skills.htm\">regulate our emotions<\/a> and have steadier moods<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/what-is-resilience.htm\">be resilient<\/a> in the face of stress.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2>The ACT Model of Psychological Flexibility<\/h2>\n<p>Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) is a type of talk therapy that has teaching you psychological flexibility as its core mission.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"color: #800080;\">It offers a triangle model of psychological flexibility that has three points, or &#8216;pillars&#8217;: <strong>be present, be open, and do what matters.\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>It suggests these three pillars are achieved by the six following tools:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>acceptance<\/li>\n<li>defusion<\/li>\n<li>contact with the present moment<\/li>\n<li>self as context<\/li>\n<li>values<\/li>\n<li>committed action.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2>How to be more psychologically flexible<\/h2>\n<p>So what do these mean and how do they work?<\/p>\n<h3><span style=\"color: #993366;\">1. Work at &#8216;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/accepting-what-is.htm\">active acceptance<\/a>&#8216;.\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"color: #333333;\">Note that this is not acceptance in a &#8216;grin and bearing it&#8217;, passive kind of way. But as:<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"color: #333399;\"> &#8220;the active, voluntary embracing of moment-to-moment experience&#8230;.a wilful experiencing of feelings as feelings, thoughts as thoughts, sensations as sensations, and so forth.&#8221; (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.sciencedirect.com\/topics\/psychology\/psychological-flexibility\">Chin et al.<\/a>). [4].<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<h3><span style=\"color: #993366;\">2. Recognise that you are not your thoughts (defusion).\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n<p><strong>Fusion is when we think we are our thoughts, instead of realising that we are something bigger than just what we think and feel.<\/strong> What <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/acceptance-and-commitment-therapy-london.htm\">ACT therapy<\/a> calls &#8216;<strong>defusion<\/strong>&#8216; means creating some distance.\u00a0 Instead of saying, &#8220;I am sick&#8221;, we step back and recognise, &#8220;I am a person who is currently not feeling well, and has the thought that she is sick.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/cognitive-behavioural-therapy-london.htm\">Cognitive behavioural therapy<\/a> (CBT) also focuses on helping you recognise you are not your thoughts,<\/strong> using\u00a0thought charts can help you question how true your thoughts really are, and what a more balanced perspective might sound like. This helps you avoid negative mood cycles and dysfunctional choices.<\/p>\n<h3><span style=\"color: #993366;\">3. Be in the present moment.\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/mindfulness-help-guide.htm\">Mindfulness<\/a> is a tool that helps you be aware of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/present-moment-secret-better-mood.htm\">the present moment<\/a>. How do you feel right now? What are you thinking? What is going on around you? It helps us to make better choices with what we are actually dealing with, instead of using rigid responses based on past experiences or our fear of what \u2018might\u2019 happen in the future.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"color: #333399;\">And mindfulness can also help you recognise that &#8216;You&#8217; beyond the &#8216;you&#8217;. That you are not the changing content of your thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations, but something bigger and more permanent, simply experiencing it all. This is what ACT therapy calls &#8216;<strong>self as context<\/strong>&#8216;.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<h3><span style=\"color: #993366;\">4. Recognise and live out your values.\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n<p><strong>If we don&#8217;t clarify what really matters to us, <\/strong>our <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/personal-values-know-yours.htm\">personal values,<\/a> we can always feel exhausted and stuck. When we start to align our life to values, on the other hand, we have more energy and we see more clearly.<\/p>\n<p>And we can finally take<strong> committed action.\u00a0<\/strong>When we are moving towards our values then we are less likely to be deterred by challenges as we really care about where we are heading. We are more likely to put <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/goal-setting-in-therapy.htm\">good goal setting<\/a> into action.<\/p>\n<h3><span style=\"color: #993366;\">4. Work on your creativity.<\/span><\/h3>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"color: #333399;\">A <a style=\"color: #333399;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.researchgate.net\/publication\/19414559_Egocentrism_and_Ego_Resiliency_Personality_Characteristics_Associated_With_Perspective-Taking_From_Early_Childhood_to_Adolescence\">study on what made young people and children more ego resilient<\/a> came up with a list of characteristics that include being curious, exploratory, and creative. [5]<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/depression-and-creativity.htm\">Creativity<\/a> doesn\u2019t have to mean making art. It can mean learning to<\/strong> brainstorm, or challenging yourself daily to do one thing differently, whether that is the way you load the dishwasher or working from a different table in the house.<\/p>\n<h3><span style=\"color: #993366;\">5. Learn to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/what-is-perspective.htm\">perspective hop<\/a>.<\/span><\/h3>\n<p>One of the fastest ways to shift a situation is to see it from another perspective and to always remember we are only seeing one side of things.<\/p>\n<h3><span style=\"color: #993366;\">6. Work on life balance.<\/span><\/h3>\n<p>Take time each week to check in with all areas of your life, from family to work and money, social life and hobbies to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/spirituality-and-mental-health.htm\">spirituality<\/a>. What areas have you spend time on? What has been neglected?<\/p>\n<h3><span style=\"color: #993366;\">7. See beyond assumptions.<\/span><\/h3>\n<p><strong>This is especially important when it<\/strong> comes to relationships.<\/p>\n<p>In his comprehensive paper, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/pmc\/articles\/PMC2998793\/\">\u201cPsychological Flexibility as a Fundamental Aspect of Health\u201d<\/a>, Todd B. Kashdan points out that:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"color: #666699;\"> \u201cPremature commitments about a person\u2019s personality, including <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/setting-expectations.htm\">expectations<\/a> about how they will behave, fuel our natural tendency to \u201ctune out.\u201d In our motivation to reach closure about a person\u2026.,\u00a0 we also end our search for new and potentially useful information about each situation being different (even slightly) from any other\u201d.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><strong>To <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/assumptions-in-relationships.htm\">move beyond assumptions<\/a>, learn<\/strong> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/good-questions-to-ask.htm\">how to ask forward looking &#8216;what&#8217; and &#8216;how&#8217; questions,<\/a> and how to reflect back until you are clear on what the other person is saying.<\/p>\n<h2>What types of therapy can help me become more psychologically flexible?<\/h2>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/acceptance-and-commitment-therapy-london.htm\"><strong><span style=\"color: #333399;\">Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT). <\/span><\/strong><\/a>\u00a0Again, it helps you accept what you can\u2019t control, then to\u00a0 recognise and commit to taking the actions that will improve your life and moods.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/dialectical-behaviour-therapy-london.htm\"><strong><span style=\"color: #333399;\">Dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT). <\/span><\/strong><\/a>You learn to\u00a0 stay present in the here and now, and how to manage your emotions, reactions, and behaviours so you can create a life you feel good being in.<\/p>\n<p><strong><span style=\"color: #333399;\">Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). <\/span><\/strong>Recognise, question, and change your thinking before it leads to difficult emotions and dysfunctional behaviours.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/mindfulness-based-cognitive-therapy-london.htm\"><strong><span style=\"color: #333399;\">Mindfulness-based cognitive behavioural therapy (MBCT). <\/span><\/strong><\/a>Recognise your thoughts, but work at not judging or being attached to them over trying to change them. How can you move forward despite your thinking?<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong><span style=\"color: #800080;\">Want help to be more flexible in life? Harley Therapy connect you with<a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/therapists.htm\"><span style=\"color: #333399;\"> top London talk therapists<\/span><\/a>. Alternatively, use our<a href=\"https:\/\/harleytherapy.com\/?utm_source=Harley%20Therapy%20Blog&amp;utm_content=Mid%20Post\"> <span style=\"color: #333399;\">booking site<\/span><\/a> to source\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/harleytherapy.com\/?utm_source=Harley%20Therapy%20Blog&amp;utm_content=Post%20End\"><span style=\"color: #333399;\">online therapy<\/span><\/a>\u00a0with registered UK-wide therapists.\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span style=\"color: #333399;\"><b><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\" wp-image-117271 alignleft\" src=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/headshot-yellow-e1675110089673-150x150.png\" alt=\"Andrea M. Darcy mental health expert\" width=\"143\" height=\"143\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/headshot-yellow-e1675110089673-150x150.png 150w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/headshot-yellow-e1675110089673-200x200.png 200w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/headshot-yellow-e1675110089673-50x50.png 50w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/headshot-yellow-e1675110089673.png 268w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 143px) 100vw, 143px\" \/>Andrea M. Darcy<\/b> is a mental health and wellbeing expert, who has done some training in person-centred counselling and coaching. She often writes about trauma, relationships, and ADHD, and advises people on how to plan their therapy journey. Find her on Instagram @am_darcy<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #808080;\">Footnotes<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #808080;\">[1] Kashdan, T. B., &amp; Rottenberg, J. (2010). Psychological flexibility as a fundamental aspect of health.\u00a0<i>Clinical psychology review<\/i>,\u00a0<i>30<\/i>(7), 865\u2013878. https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1016\/j.cpr.2010.03.001.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #808080;\">[2] Tamir, M., Mitchell, C., &amp; Gross, J. J. (2008). Hedonic and instrumental motives in anger regulation. <i>Psychological science<\/i>,\u00a0<i>19<\/i>(4), 324\u2013328. https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1111\/j.1467-9280.2008.02088.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #808080;\">[3] Dawson, D. L., &amp; Golijani-Moghaddam, N. (2020). COVID-19: Psychological flexibility, coping, mental health, and wellbeing in the UK during the pandemic.\u00a0<i>Journal of contextual behavioral science<\/i>,\u00a0<i>17<\/i>, 126\u2013134. https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1016\/j.jcbs.2020.07.010.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #808080;\">[4]. Stefan G. Hofmann, Gordon J.G. Asmundson, The Science of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy,<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #808080;\">Academic Press, 2017. ISBN 9780128034576, https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1016\/B978-0-12-803457-6.00036-2.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #808080;\">[5] Gjerde, Per &amp; Block, Jeanne. (1986). Egocentrism and Ego Resiliency. <em>Personality Characteristics Associated With Perspective-Taking From Early Childhood to Adolescence<\/em>. Journal of personality and social psychology. 51. 423-34. 10.1037\/0022-3514.51.2.423.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>by Andrea M. Darcy Psychological flexibility is arguably a fundamental aspect of good mental health. But what is it exactly, and how can you have more of it? What is psychological flexibility? &#8220;A healthy person is someone who can manage themselves in the uncertain, unpredictable world around them, where novelty and change are the norm [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":121087,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"yes","_lmt_disable":"no","footnotes":""},"categories":[21,6],"tags":[3,224,212,162],"class_list":["post-121085","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-anxiety-and-stress","category-relationships","tag-anxiety","tag-anxiety-stress","tag-borderline-personality-disorder","tag-social-anxiety","has_thumb"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v27.0 (Yoast SEO v27.0) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Psychological Flexibility - What it Is and Why You Need It - Harley Therapy\u2122 Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Do you have psychological flexibility, or are your thoughts and behaviours rigid and holding you back? 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