{"id":121248,"date":"2020-12-17T11:00:26","date_gmt":"2020-12-17T11:00:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/?p=121248"},"modified":"2023-03-11T19:05:55","modified_gmt":"2023-03-11T19:05:55","slug":"positive-parenting-tips","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/positive-parenting-tips.htm","title":{"rendered":"3 Positive Parenting Tips We\u2019ve Learned In 2020"},"content":{"rendered":"<div><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-medium wp-image-121249\" src=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/marcin-jozwiak-10ZTWZFxsWg-unsplash-400x266.jpg\" alt=\"positive parenting tips\" width=\"400\" height=\"266\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/marcin-jozwiak-10ZTWZFxsWg-unsplash-400x266.jpg 400w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/marcin-jozwiak-10ZTWZFxsWg-unsplash-500x333.jpg 500w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/marcin-jozwiak-10ZTWZFxsWg-unsplash-180x120.jpg 180w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/marcin-jozwiak-10ZTWZFxsWg-unsplash.jpg 709w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><span style=\"color: #333399;\">by Rob Stanley<\/span><\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div><strong>If there has ever been a year to integrate positive parenting tips,<\/strong> it&#8217;s been this one, a year that left a lot of parents facing situations they never would have dreamed of dealing with.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div><strong>Who could have imagined back in January that we&#8217;d have to learn<\/strong> how to disinfect a child&#8217;s backpack? Create a face mask rotation for the laundry? Or <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/coronavirus-children-kids.htm\">explain what a pandemic is to an eight year-old<\/a>?<\/div>\n<\/p>\n<h3>Parenting in a pandemic<\/h3>\n<p>But 2020 and the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/global-pandemic-anxiety.htm\">Covid-19 pandemic<\/a> has has at the same time been an unprecedented opportunity to show determination and resolve in <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/mindful-parenting.htm\">how we relate to our children<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p><strong>It&#8217;s given most of us more time with our families, and forced us to<\/strong> reconsider some of the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/how-to-change-your-core-beliefs.htm\">core beliefs<\/a> that we hold toward parenting.<\/p>\n<h3>Positive parenting tips to carry forward<\/h3>\n<p><em>What are the benefits we&#8217;ve learned that we can focus on carrying forward into <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/new-year-new-you-try-this.htm\">the New Year<\/a>?\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<h4><span style=\"color: #993366;\">1. We are more inclined to give our kids the benefit of the doubt.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/h4>\n<div><strong>People will tend to give themselves the benefit of the doubt in almost every situation.\u00a0<\/strong>Just think about the awareness, and really, the patience, which you have for yourself. You know, for example:<\/div>\n<ul>\n<li>the intentions behind your actions, even when you mess up<\/li>\n<li>your motives that explain why you do the things you do<\/li>\n<li>and your own intrinsic value, that mean you\u2019re quick to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/self-compassion.htm\">show yourself grace<\/a> if you make a misstep.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<blockquote>\n<div><span style=\"color: #333399;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-medium wp-image-121252\" src=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/cdc-20YP7NENJzk-unsplash-1-400x266.jpg\" alt=\"positive parenting tips\" width=\"400\" height=\"266\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/cdc-20YP7NENJzk-unsplash-1-400x266.jpg 400w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/cdc-20YP7NENJzk-unsplash-1-500x333.jpg 500w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/cdc-20YP7NENJzk-unsplash-1-180x120.jpg 180w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/cdc-20YP7NENJzk-unsplash-1.jpg 709w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/>Parents everywhere are waking to the reality that they should assume these same postures of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/mindfulness-for-children.htm\">awareness<\/a> and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/accepting-what-is.htm\">acceptance<\/a> when it comes to interacting with their kids.\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n<div><strong>No longer is it acceptable to<\/strong> critique, harangue, or <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/helicopter-parenting.htm\">hover over our kids<\/a>\u2019 every misdeed. Just like us, our kids need to have the space to have a bad day.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div><strong>Sometimes this will require us to<\/strong> give our kids the room to vent without talking back or correcting them. Sometimes it will mean giving them a day off from responsibility in order to find themselves amidst the chaos of they own thoughts.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div><strong>Our kids are just as human as we are, and if 2020 has taught us anything, it is that<\/strong> providing the benefit of the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/doubt-in-relationships.htm\">doubt<\/a> can be a powerful parenting tool as we support and nurture our kids moving forward.<\/div>\n<\/p>\n<h4><span style=\"color: #993366;\">2. We are learning to become champions of our kids.\u00a0<\/span><\/h4>\n<div><strong>One of the saddest, yet most common, things that adult clients confess in therapy as <\/strong>they describe their own childhood is, \u2018My parents loved me, but they were never fully on my side.&#8217;<\/div>\n<blockquote>\n<div><span style=\"color: #333399;\">Yes, we have parents who loved, provided and nurtured us. But on a deep level, some of us know that a fundamental distance existed when it came to things like our parents <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/new-year-goals.htm\">championing our goals<\/a>, owning our dreams, or giving us a safe place to express our point of view.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n<div><strong><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-medium wp-image-121251\" src=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/mick-haupt-k9OqVfJRWlI-unsplash-400x266.jpg\" alt=\"positive parenting tips\" width=\"400\" height=\"266\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/mick-haupt-k9OqVfJRWlI-unsplash-400x266.jpg 400w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/mick-haupt-k9OqVfJRWlI-unsplash-500x333.jpg 500w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/mick-haupt-k9OqVfJRWlI-unsplash-180x120.jpg 180w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/mick-haupt-k9OqVfJRWlI-unsplash.jpg 709w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/>As we have seen in 2020, this sort of distance is becoming increasingly counter productive as we<\/strong> seek to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/bad-parents-are-you-one.htm\">be the parents we wish to be<\/a> for our kids. Instead of creating distance between us and our kids, we should instead be focused on:<\/div>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/what-is-trust.htm\">trusting<\/a> our kids<\/li>\n<li>presuming the best about our kids<\/li>\n<li>defending our kids<\/li>\n<li>honouring our kids.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<div><strong>This sort of unconditional championing works wonders in deepening the<\/strong> feelings of security and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/self-esteem-for-teens.htm\">self-esteem<\/a> which our kids desperately need to thrive in this world.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div><strong>In fact, what better feeling could there be for a kid than knowing that their parents are on their side?\u00a0<\/strong>Coming alongside and inhabiting the same space as our kids should be a habit for us, and one of the positive parenting tips we prioritise. Not a one-off during trying times.<\/div>\n<\/p>\n<h4><span style=\"color: #993366;\">3. We are learning to be more authentic with our kids.<\/span><\/h4>\n<blockquote>\n<div><span style=\"color: #666699;\">Kids are wildly perceptive, so whatever attempts we make to hide the true thoughts, emotions or circumstances which surround our kids will ultimately destabilise them more than protect them.\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n<div><strong>The solution? Let your kids in to what\u2019s happening in your life. <\/strong>Within common sense <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/healthy-boundaries.htm\">boundaries<\/a> of course. If you are feeling:<\/div>\n<ul>\n<li>down because a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/chronic-illness-and-children.htm\">loved one is ill<\/a>, share that<\/li>\n<li>bad about blowing your top earlier in the day, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/sorry-for-everything-apologise-too-much.htm\">apologise<\/a> openly to them and explain what happened<\/li>\n<li>uncertain and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/how-to-take-a-decision.htm\">debating an issue or decision<\/a>, let them in on your journey and admit you don\u2019t have all the answers.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<div><strong>Being authentic doesn&#8217;t mean you have to burden your kids every detail of your life. It simply means<\/strong> opening the door to allow them to see your own emotional processing.<\/div>\n<div>Far from scaring them, this sort of openness will give them a model to follow as they process their own thoughts and emotions.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div><strong>And, as 2020 draws to a close, that sort of<\/strong> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/authentic-self.htm\">authenticity<\/a> and wisdom might be the greatest gift that we can offer our kids.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<\/p>\n<div><strong><span style=\"color: #800080;\">Just not navigating parenting these days? Or kids triggering your own unresolved childhood issues? We offer<a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/therapists.htm\"><span style=\"color: #333399;\"> top London therapists<\/span><\/a> who are experts in their field. Or use our <span style=\"color: #333399;\"><a style=\"color: #333399;\" href=\"https:\/\/harleytherapy.com\/?utm_source=Harley%20Therapy%20Blog&amp;utm_content=Mid%20Post\">booking site<\/a><\/span> to source UK-wide talk therapy and <a href=\"https:\/\/harleytherapy.com\/?utm_source=Harley%20Therapy%20Blog&amp;utm_content=Post%20End\"><span style=\"color: #333399;\">online counselling<\/span><\/a> today.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>________________________________________________________________<\/div>\n<div><em>Have positive parenting tips to share with other readers? Use the comment box below.\u00a0<\/em><\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\" wp-image-120972 alignleft\" src=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/Screenshot-2020-11-12-at-07.39.42-400x280.png\" alt=\"Rob Stanley Whitboard Counselling\" width=\"196\" height=\"137\" \/><span style=\"color: #333399;\">Rob Stanley is a <a href=\"https:\/\/oamhp.ca\/therapist-listing\/robert-stanley-874\/\">Canadian Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying)<\/a> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.whiteboardcounselling.com\/\">currently practicing in Oakville, Ontario<\/a> (and a parent). With over twenty years experience in counselling and social services, his clinic <a style=\"color: #333399;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.whiteboardcounselling.com\/\">Whiteboard Counselling<\/a> is proudly founded upon the dual principles of empathy and evidence.\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<div class=\"yj6qo ajU\"><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>by Rob Stanley If there has ever been a year to integrate positive parenting tips, it&#8217;s been this one, a year that left a lot of parents facing situations they never would have dreamed of dealing with. Who could have imagined back in January that we&#8217;d have to learn how to disinfect a child&#8217;s backpack? [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":121249,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"yes","_lmt_disable":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[296],"tags":[1669,325,1800,115],"class_list":["post-121248","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-parenting","tag-covid-19","tag-family","tag-pandemic","tag-parenting","has_thumb"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v27.3 (Yoast SEO v27.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>3 Positive Parenting Tips We\u2019ve Learned In 2020 - Harley Therapy\u2122 Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"How 2020 became the year of positive parenting tips - the upside of the Covid-19 pandemic on parenting and what you need to carry forward in the New Year\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/positive-parenting-tips.htm\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_GB\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"3 Positive Parenting Tips We\u2019ve Learned In 2020\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"How 2020 became the year of positive parenting tips - the upside of the Covid-19 pandemic on parenting and what you need to carry forward in the New Year\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/positive-parenting-tips.htm\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Harley Therapy\u2122 Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/harleytherapy\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/harleytherapylondon\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2020-12-17T11:00:26+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2023-03-11T19:05:55+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/marcin-jozwiak-10ZTWZFxsWg-unsplash.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"709\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"472\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Sheri Jacobson\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@https:\/\/twitter.com\/drsherijacobson\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@HarleyTherapy\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Sheri Jacobson\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\\\/counselling\\\/positive-parenting-tips.htm\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\\\/counselling\\\/positive-parenting-tips.htm\",\"name\":\"3 Positive Parenting Tips We\u2019ve Learned In 2020 - 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