{"id":121786,"date":"2021-03-02T11:00:09","date_gmt":"2021-03-02T11:00:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/?p=121786"},"modified":"2023-03-07T14:56:30","modified_gmt":"2023-03-07T14:56:30","slug":"fear-of-the-unknown","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/fear-of-the-unknown.htm","title":{"rendered":"Fear of the Unknown &#8211; Can&#8217;t Stand the Suspense?"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"attachment_121790\" style=\"width: 410px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-121790\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-121790\" src=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/alex-iby-uf12t-rLl2Q-unsplash-400x266.jpg\" alt=\"fear of the unknown\" width=\"400\" height=\"266\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/alex-iby-uf12t-rLl2Q-unsplash-400x266.jpg 400w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/alex-iby-uf12t-rLl2Q-unsplash-500x333.jpg 500w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/alex-iby-uf12t-rLl2Q-unsplash-180x120.jpg 180w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/alex-iby-uf12t-rLl2Q-unsplash.jpg 709w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><p id=\"caption-attachment-121790\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">photo by Alex Iby<\/p><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"color: #333399;\">by Andrea M. Darcy<\/span><\/p>\n<p><strong>Overwhelmed with anxiety when you think of<\/strong> what lies ahead for yourself, your family, and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/powerlessness-when-world-events-overwhelm.htm\">the world<\/a>? Or at something like the thought of starting<a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wrong-career-path.htm\"> a new job<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/student-stress-what-is-it.htm\">new school<\/a>? Is fear of the unknown your problem?<\/p>\n<h2>What is fear of the unknown?<\/h2>\n<p><strong>The past year has given a perfect example of what fear of the unknown can look like.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>In the face of a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/second-lockdown-stress.htm\">virus<\/a> science was still struggling to understand, there was a rise in <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/anxiety-vs-depression.htm\">anxiety, depression<\/a> and struggles with daily<a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/how-to-cope-life-is-crazy.htm\"> coping<\/a>.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"color: #333399;\">When we find ourselves panicking in the face of things we feel under informed about, we have a fear of the unknown.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<h2>I have information but am still panicking<\/h2>\n<p><strong>Feel anxious about something even though you do have information? <\/strong>You might still have a fear of the unknown.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Psychologist R. Nicholas Carleton<\/strong> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.sciencedirect.com\/science\/article\/pii\/S0887618516300251\">defines fear of the unknown<\/a> as the, \u201cpropensity to experience fear caused by the perceived absence of information <em>at any level of consciousness<\/em> or point of processing.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><strong>In other words, if you<a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/what-is-the-unconscious-mind.htm\"> <em>unconsciously<\/em><\/a> believe you are uninformed, <\/strong>then you might still have a fear of the unknown, no matter how many facts you mentally have.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"color: #333399;\">Take a moment to be quiet and calm and listen to your deeper thoughts and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/examples-of-core-beliefs.htm\">beliefs<\/a> behind your mind chatter. Do you feel like everything is uncertain? That it&#8217;s impossible to know what to do?<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<h2>Examples of fearing the unknown<\/h2>\n<p>Fear of the unknown can manifest in many ways, such as being afraid of:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/i-hate-change-management.htm\">new situations<\/a> like a new school or <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/mental-health-in-the-workplace.htm\">workplace<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/injury-and-depression.htm\">being injured<\/a> or ill<\/li>\n<li>boing to new places or going out at all (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/what-is-social-anxiety-disorder.htm\">social anxiety<\/a>)<\/li>\n<li>trying new foods<\/li>\n<li>other cultures and races (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/power-of-storytelling.htm\">racism<\/a> and xenophobia)<\/li>\n<li>what lies ahead in your future<\/li>\n<li>the fate of the world at large<\/li>\n<li>the futures of your children and loved ones.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2>The biggest fear of all?<\/h2>\n<blockquote>\n<div id=\"attachment_121793\" style=\"width: 410px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-121793\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-121793\" src=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/engin-akyurt-V6ba0bPBzgo-unsplash-400x266.jpg\" alt=\"fear of the unknown\" width=\"400\" height=\"266\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/engin-akyurt-V6ba0bPBzgo-unsplash-400x266.jpg 400w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/engin-akyurt-V6ba0bPBzgo-unsplash-500x333.jpg 500w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/engin-akyurt-V6ba0bPBzgo-unsplash-180x120.jpg 180w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/engin-akyurt-V6ba0bPBzgo-unsplash.jpg 709w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><p id=\"caption-attachment-121793\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">photo by Engin Akyurt<\/p><\/div>\n<p>&#8220;The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown.&#8221; <strong>H.P. Lovecraft, American writer<\/strong>.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><strong>As you can see from the above list, fear of the the unknown hides behind<\/strong> many an <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/worry-and-anxiety-difference.htm\">anxiety and worry<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Many psychologists see fear of the unknown as what is referred to as a \u2018fundamental fear\u2019, a main fear underlying other fears.<\/strong> For example, if we are afraid of going to social events and of travelling, we are actually afraid of the unknown. So they would say that Lovecraft was right.<\/p>\n<h2>But we all face unknowns. Why do I get anxiety and others don\u2019t?<\/h2>\n<p><strong>Some people suffer a higher level of what psychologists call \u201cintolerance for uncertainty\u201d<\/strong> than others.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"color: #993366;\">Intolerance for uncertainty means you don\u2019t have a strong capacity to endure the feelings triggered by not having enough information and for feeling uncertain. You aren\u2019t naturally <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/what-is-resilience.htm\">resilient<\/a>.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><strong>There can be a genetic component. Some of us seem<\/strong> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/why-am-i-so-oversensitive.htm\">more sensitive<\/a> than others. And some of us are naturally more <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/jung-personality-types.htm\">extroverted<\/a> and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/building-confidence.htm\">confident<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p><strong>But, as with most mental health issues, there is often a strong \u2018environmental\u2019 component to our fear of the unknown.<\/strong> This means that the environments we moved through growing up &#8212; our family, extended family, schooling \u2014 led to experiences that affected our <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/who-am-i-identity-crisis.htm\">identity<\/a> and confidence. This might have been something like <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/constant-criticism.htm\">constant criticism<\/a>, neglect, or <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/how-can-i-remember-childhood-trauma-abuse.htm\">childhood trauma<\/a>.<\/p>\n<h2>When a phobia of the unknown becomes a mental health issue<\/h2>\n<p><strong>Some psychologists argue that fear of the unknown is behind all anxiety<\/strong> and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/signs-of-anxiety-disorder.htm\">anxiety disorders,<\/a> including <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/mindfulness-social-anxiety.htm\">social anxiety,<\/a> health anxiety, and panic disorder.<\/p>\n<p>An <a href=\"https:\/\/pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/26945765\/\">in-depth review or research around fear of the unknown<\/a> also connected it to:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/substance-abuse-vs-addiction.htm\">addictions and substance abuse<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/what-is-attachment-disorder.htm\">attachment disorders<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/types-of-depression.htm\">depression<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/the-new-eating-disorders.htm\">eating disorders<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/obsessive-compulsive-disorder-ocd.htm\">obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/personality-disorder-vs-personality-trait.htm\">personality disorder symptoms<\/a>.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2>What can I do if I suffer fear of the unknown?<\/h2>\n<h3><span style=\"color: #993366;\">1. Get informed.<\/span><\/h3>\n<p>For some people, reading a job description might be enough to apply. But if for you, talking to someone who has already had the job is what makes you feel more at ease, then do so.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Keep avoiding practical information, even though it leaves you stressed? Some of us have a problem with what is called<\/strong> \u2018<a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/avoidance-coping-depression.htm\">avoidance coping<\/a>\u2019. Our brain believes it\u2019s taking care of us by avoiding things.<\/p>\n<p><strong>So we can need to bring in support to push ourselves past our built-in resistance to knowing.<\/strong> A common example is avoiding <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/money-stress.htm\">looking at your finances<\/a>. You might need to hire a<a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/coaching-and-counselling.htm\"> coach<\/a> or financial advisor.<\/p>\n<h3><span style=\"color: #993366;\">2. Learn how to recognise and differentiate your thoughts.<\/span><\/h3>\n<div id=\"attachment_121792\" style=\"width: 410px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-121792\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-121792\" src=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/brett-jordan-YcE0feO4DLI-unsplash-400x300.jpg\" alt=\"phobia of the unknown\" width=\"400\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/brett-jordan-YcE0feO4DLI-unsplash-400x300.jpg 400w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/brett-jordan-YcE0feO4DLI-unsplash-500x374.jpg 500w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/brett-jordan-YcE0feO4DLI-unsplash.jpg 709w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><p id=\"caption-attachment-121792\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">photo by: Brett Jordan<\/p><\/div>\n<p><strong>Fear of the unknown <\/strong>arises from our <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/confused-thoughts.htm\">disordered thinking.<\/a> And thoughts can be managed and changed.<\/p>\n<p><strong>A good start can be learning to hear your thoughts in the first place<\/strong> (see the below step on mindfulness).<\/p>\n<p><strong>Then learn about the different types of thoughts that can cause anxiety. These include<\/strong>\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/making-assumptions.htm\">assumptions<\/a>,<a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/how-to-change-your-core-beliefs.htm\"> core beliefs<\/a>, and what are called <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/cognitive-distortions.htm\">\u2018cognitive distortions<\/a>\u2019, meaning thoughts that seem real but aren\u2019t. Examples include <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/black-and-white-thinking-stop-drama-addict.htm\">black and white thinking<\/a> and fortune telling, assuming we know the future.<\/p>\n<h3><span style=\"color: #993366;\">3. Practice balanced thinking.<\/span><\/h3>\n<p><strong>Once you are in the habit of tuning in to and challenging your own thinking<\/strong>, you can start to learn what <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/cognitive-behavioural-therapy-london.htm\">cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT)<\/a> calls \u2018balanced thinking\u2019.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"color: #333399;\">This means finding a thought that is not black or white, but is the most rational and open to possibility.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><strong>CBT is based on the idea that by changing our thinking, we change our<\/strong> feelings and actions and avoid falling into <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/anxiety-vs-depression.htm\">depression and anxiety<\/a>. (Learn its technique for having balanced thoughts <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/balanced-thinking-benefits.htm\">here<\/a>.)<\/p>\n<h3><span style=\"color: #993366;\">4. Learn mindfulness.<\/span><\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/mindfulness-techniques.htm\">Mindfulness<\/a> has become very popular of late, chiefly as it works (and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/meditation-and-the-brain.htm\">research proves it<\/a>). Many of us lead our lives caught up in analysing the past or worrying about our future. Mindfulness is an easy to learn tool (we teach you how <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/mindfulness-help-guide.htm\">here<\/a>) that sees you put time aside daily to calm yourself and get centred, then tune in to the here and now.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"color: #800080;\">When we are <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/present-moment-secret-better-mood.htm\">present<\/a>, we are more aware of our thoughts and feelings and develop a greater capacity to choose our thinking and responses.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<h3><span style=\"color: #993366;\">5. Try therapy.<\/span><\/h3>\n<p><strong>Most therapies are designed to help you gain clarity<\/strong> on yourself, others, and your life, so can help with a fear of the unknown.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Therapies with a strong focus on helping you manage distorted thoughts<\/strong> include:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/cognitive-analytic-therapy-london.htm\">cognitive analytical therapy (CAT)<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/cognitive-behavioural-therapy-london.htm\">cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT)<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/mentalisation-based-therapy.htm\">mentalisation-based therapy (MBT)<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/mindfulness-based-cognitive-therapy-london.htm\">mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT)<\/a>.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"color: #800080;\"><strong>Ready to try therapy for fear of the unknown? We connect you to a roster of highly rated expert <span style=\"color: #333399;\"><a style=\"color: #333399;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/cognitive-behavioural-therapy-london.htm\">London CBT therapists<\/a><\/span>. Or use <\/strong><\/span><span style=\"color: #333399;\"><a style=\"color: #333399;\" href=\"https:\/\/harleytherapy.com\/?utm_source=Harley%20Therapy%20Blog&amp;utm_content=Mid%20Post\"><strong>our booking platform<\/strong><\/a><\/span><span style=\"color: #800080;\"><strong> to find UK-wide and <a href=\"https:\/\/harleytherapy.com\/?utm_source=Harley%20Therapy%20Blog&amp;utm_content=Post%20End\"><span style=\"color: #333399;\">online therapists<\/span><\/a>\u00a0to suit your budget.\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p><span style=\"color: #333399;\"><strong><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-thumbnail wp-image-117271 alignleft\" src=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/headshot-yellow-e1675110089673-150x150.png\" alt=\"Andrea M. Darcy\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/headshot-yellow-e1675110089673-150x150.png 150w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/headshot-yellow-e1675110089673-200x200.png 200w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/headshot-yellow-e1675110089673-50x50.png 50w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/headshot-yellow-e1675110089673.png 268w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px\" \/>Andrea M. Darcy<\/strong> is a health and wellbeing writer as well as mentor, trained in person-centred counselling and coaching. She often writes about trauma, relationships, and ADHD. Find her on Instagram @am_darcy<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>by Andrea M. Darcy Overwhelmed with anxiety when you think of what lies ahead for yourself, your family, and the world? Or at something like the thought of starting a new job or new school? Is fear of the unknown your problem? What is fear of the unknown? The past year has given a perfect [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":121790,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"yes","_lmt_disable":"no","footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[3,34,378,106,107],"class_list":["post-121786","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-anxiety-and-stress","tag-anxiety","tag-cbt-therapy","tag-depression","tag-fear","tag-phobia","has_thumb"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v27.0 (Yoast SEO v27.0) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Fear of the Unknown - Can&#039;t Stand the Suspense? - Harley Therapy\u2122 Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Is fear of the unknown your real problem? Do you have anxiety and panic when dealing with new situations or people? 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Darcy\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/fear-of-the-unknown.htm\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/fear-of-the-unknown.htm\",\"name\":\"Fear of the Unknown - Can't Stand the Suspense? - Harley Therapy\u2122 Blog\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/fear-of-the-unknown.htm#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/fear-of-the-unknown.htm#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/alex-iby-uf12t-rLl2Q-unsplash.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2021-03-02T11:00:09+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2023-03-07T14:56:30+00:00\",\"description\":\"Is fear of the unknown your real problem? 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