{"id":122183,"date":"2021-04-13T11:00:12","date_gmt":"2021-04-13T10:00:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/?p=122183"},"modified":"2023-03-03T17:03:12","modified_gmt":"2023-03-03T17:03:12","slug":"what-is-reverse-psychology","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/what-is-reverse-psychology.htm","title":{"rendered":"What is Reverse Psychology? And is it Damaging Your Relationships?"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"what

photo by: Rahabi Khan<\/p><\/div>\n

by Andrea M. Darcy<\/span><\/p>\n

Pretend you want what you don\u2019t, in order to get what you do? What is reverse psychology, really, and is it good or bad for our relationships<\/a>?
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What is reverse psychology? <\/span><\/h3>\n

At the heart of the concept is the<\/strong> assumption<\/a> that most people don\u2019t like being told what to do. <\/span><\/p>\n

So how does reverse psychology work?<\/strong> <\/span><\/p>\n

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  1. You want a person to act a certain way, or believe<\/a> a certain thing.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n
  2. And have identified they are likely to rebel against being told what to do or think.<\/li>\n
  3. So you pretend to want the opposite behaviour or belief from them, essentially pushing them to fit your desires.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    So what is reverse psychology? <\/strong>It\u2019s really a form of manipulation<\/a>.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

    Is it a tactic that works?<\/h3>\n

    In<\/strong> advertising, certainly.<\/strong> Research shows<\/a> that, even if we are uncomfortable with the manipulation, we end up still interested in the product sold to us with reverse psychology.<\/span><\/p>\n

    In relationships? Perhaps not so much, given the<\/strong> long term losses for the short-term gain. More on that below.<\/p>\n

    Is it a psychological term?<\/h3>\n

    Despite the word ‘psychology’ being part of it, it’s not a scientific term<\/strong>. The closest relation used by psychologists would be ‘reactance’.<\/p>\n

    Reactance theory suggests\u00a0<\/strong>that if we feel our freedom to behave the way we want is being limited or threatened, we are motivated<\/a> to regain that freedom.<\/p>\n

    If you are using reverse psychology on someone, you are playing on their ‘reactance’. You are banking on the fact that they will be motivated to fight what you are pretending to take off the table.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

    Don\u2019t we all do it at some point?<\/span><\/h3>\n

    It does seem that most of us<\/strong> give it a go at some point or another.<\/p>\n

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    A study<\/span><\/a> that interviewed 159 university students saw 105 come up with a valid example of when they recently used reverse psychology on someone, and most reported doing so at least once a month. <\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

    Reverse psychology in love and romance<\/span><\/h3>\n
    \"what

    photo by: Alexis Brown<\/p><\/div>\n

    The classic example of reverse psychology <\/strong>in romance is the advice, “If you like someone, pretend you don\u2019t care, and that will attract them”. And then we have things like:<\/span><\/p>\n