{"id":123082,"date":"2021-07-13T11:00:30","date_gmt":"2021-07-13T10:00:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/?p=123082"},"modified":"2023-03-13T13:29:14","modified_gmt":"2023-03-13T13:29:14","slug":"personal-space","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/personal-space.htm","title":{"rendered":"Personal Space – Why You Need Less or More Than Others"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"personalby Andrea M. Darcy<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Been accused of being clingy or standoffish? Or just told you don\u2019t seem to respect<\/a> other\u2019s personal space, and you aren\u2019t sure what that\u2019s about? <\/span><\/p>\n

What is personal space?<\/span><\/h2>\n
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Personal space is the distance each person needs between their body and other people to feel comfortable and at ease. <\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

You could indeed it call it \u2018personal distance\u2019. <\/strong>Psychologists<\/a> also throw around the term \u2018interpersonal space\u2019, seeing as it\u2019s not just about you but also those around you.<\/span><\/p>\n

The changing space around you<\/h2>\n

Interpersonal space is not a fixed ratio.<\/strong> It’s entirely normal to have one personal distance around people you know really well like your family<\/a>, and another entirely for friends<\/a> then colleagues<\/a>. <\/span><\/p>\n

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And most of us tend to at times misjudge our actual \u2018spacing\u2019, so to speak. An interesting study<\/a><\/span> at the University of Victoria, Canada, found that we tend to correctly judge how far we are away from others in non personal situations. Such as, say, at a meeting. But in personal situations, with people we know well, we tend to think we are farther away from others than we actually are.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Is personal space a choice?<\/span><\/h2>\n

On one hand, we do of course have choice over<\/strong> how close we stand to others. <\/span>On the other hand, it’s been found there is genetic component at play to what our comfort levels will or won’t be with that.<\/p>\n

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According to Michael Graziano, Princeton neuroscientist and the author of ‘The Spaces Between Us’<\/em><\/a>, our personal ‘buffer zone’ is hardwired into our brain from birth. Some of us are born with far less of a buffer zone than others.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Your brain’s decision about taking space<\/h2>\n

Neuroscientists, call the brain\u2019s<\/strong> representation of the area surrounding us \u2018peripersonal space\u2019. On a practical side, our understanding of the space around us means we know how to, say, reach out and grab objects.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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By: Internet Archive Book Images<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n

But peripersonal space also acts as a safety <\/strong>margin for us to decide if ‘incoming objects’ are or aren’t acceptable (including people).\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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Research<\/a> done on monkeys showed that the same areas of the brain that activated when they were physically touched activated when things simply came near them. And that the mere threat of an incoming object meant the monkeys physically prepared to defend themselves.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Which could explain why we feel more of a<\/strong> psychological need for space if we don\u2019t know someone. Particularly if we tend to fear intimacy<\/a>, we\u2019d register that person as a threat.<\/span><\/p>\n

Mental health diagnoses and space issues<\/span><\/h2>\n

If your brain has less of a buffer zone, you can end up with<\/strong> learning difficulties and social difficulties. And might end up with a mental health diagnosis. These can include: <\/span><\/p>\n

Dyspraxia. <\/span><\/h3>\n

Dyspraxia<\/a> is a learning difference that is diagnosed when a child struggles with understanding where their body is in space.<\/strong> As well as physically bumping into things and having coordination issues, such as with holding things, they can struggle with reading and writing. And socially they can misjudge personal space, standing too close, pushing by people when there isn\u2019t room, and mistakenly upsetting others. <\/span><\/p>\n

Autism spectrum disorder and Asperger\u2019s<\/span><\/h3>\n

Autism<\/a> has as a symptom highly attuned senses, which can lead to sensory overload. So while for a normal person being brushed on the arm is hardly noticeable, for a person with autism, it could be a strong or even overwhelming sensation. This of course means that those with the cognitive difference of autism can need a big personal space to feel calm and safe. <\/span><\/p>\n

Asperger\u2019s<\/a> is now considered to be part of the autism spectrum. It\u2019s not uncommon if you have Asperger\u2019s to hate being touched by others, unless it’s by someone you know well. <\/span><\/p>\n

Anxiety disorders. <\/span><\/h3>\n
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By: D. Sinclair Terrasidius<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n

If we have severe anxiety, our mind is constantly searching for danger<\/a>. So anyone coming into our interpersonal space could feel more threatening than usual as we are \u2018on guard\u2019. With social anxiety disorder<\/a>, this becomes the main issue.<\/span><\/p>\n

What about people who stand way too close?<\/h2>\n

Are they taller than you? An<\/strong> interesting study using virtual reality<\/a> looked at how body size related to diminishing personal space. It concluded taller people were more likely to have a smaller personal space.<\/p>\n

The study discovered that if we perceived ourselves as bigger,<\/strong> our personal space diminished. Even if it was just a trick of a virtual reality headset making us feel bigger, it led to feeling more deserving of taking up space.<\/p>\n

Childhood abuse and issues with body boundaries<\/span><\/h2>\n