{"id":124003,"date":"2021-09-21T11:00:27","date_gmt":"2021-09-21T10:00:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/?p=124003"},"modified":"2023-03-05T19:58:00","modified_gmt":"2023-03-05T19:58:00","slug":"multigenerational-households","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/multigenerational-households.htm","title":{"rendered":"Multigenerational Households – How to Navigate Living Together"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"multigenerational

photo by Rodnae Productions via Pexels<\/p><\/div>\n

by Liz Szalai<\/span><\/p>\n

Multigenerational households were once the common way of living, and still is in some parts of the world. <\/span><\/p>\n

But in Western culture, with the need for independence<\/strong> promoted by society, the flexibility of work locations<\/a>, and expat lifestyles<\/a>? It all added to the rise of nuclear families instead.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

But are things starting to change?\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Are we moving back to multigenerational households?\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n

One economic crisis after another, property price changes, <\/strong>rising tuition fees and student debt.<\/a>… It’s been increasingly tough for young people to start their life in their own home. This has seen the rise of ‘boomerang kids<\/a>‘, choosing to move back with their parents. <\/span><\/p>\n

Then there are couples who earn less than childcare costs<\/strong> so choose to have family move in to help. Or families having their elderly parents move in as they are unable to afford the often extortionate costs of retirement homes. Or simply want to enjoy the last years of their parents lives.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

A UK report<\/span><\/a> shows that since 2009, the number of multigenerational households increased by 38%, particularly in London, the South East, and the North West.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

The benefits of multigenerational living\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n

Besides the economic, practical and cultural reasons of multigenerational living, let\u2019s see how this arrangement benefits people who live in these settings.<\/span><\/p>\n

Babies and Children<\/span><\/h4>\n
\"multigenerational

photo by: Rodnae Productions<\/p><\/div>\n

From nursery rhymes to family recipes, children can<\/strong> learn many things from our older generations.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

But research now shows the benefits are far more important than just traditions passed on. And can even compensate for a child being raised with only one parent.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

A 2021\u00a0 study<\/a> published in\u00a0the Journals of Gerontology<\/em> shows that babies who grew up in a multigenerational household benefitted from improved thinking and reasoning skills.<\/strong> Even if that household consisted of a single parent plus grandparents. The study shares that:<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

\u201cRelative to those from two-parent households, individuals who grew up in multigenerational households showed higher levels of cognitive functioning, including those living with a single parent and grandparents.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Teenagers<\/h4>\n

“Ways of Being”<\/span>\u00a0 is a model for social and emotional learning<\/a> created by researchers Blyth, Olson, and Walker. The model was particularly created to help youth<\/a> with the many challenges they face in a modern world. A world that sees them needing awareness, a sense of identity<\/a>, and tools to navigate social situations<\/a>. <\/span><\/p>\n

The idea is that we have three main skill sets we develop when it comes to <\/strong>social\/emotional skills. These are ways of feeling, ways of relating to others, and ways of doing. These skills are learned best together.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

And as the researchers point out, family is the perfect place to learn these skills. Ideally, it “provides youth with opportunities to experience and practice across all three domains in a context that is most often experienced as safe, supportive, forgiving<\/a>, and unconditionally loving”.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And intergenerational families provide greater opportunities for this learning.<\/strong> In a larger family, you can experience more celebrations, gatherings, and conversations. This means more modelled behaviour and more communication.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Younger adults<\/span><\/h4>\n
\"multigenerational

photo by Andrea Piacquadio<\/p><\/div>\n

The Pew Research Centre<\/a> released statistics in 2020 showing that over the ocean in America, the ‘Boomerangers’ trend is veering out of control. A startling 52% of young adults aged between 18 and 29 lives with their parents again.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Perhaps panicking parents need to console themselves with<\/strong> research that suggests it’s good for their grownup children’s health. A 2014 study coming out of Columbia University<\/a> concluded that-\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

\u201cMultigenerational living arrangements might improve financial resources, buffer stress<\/a>, reduce loneliness<\/a>, enhance intellectual sharing, and generate structural social capital, thereby elevating the level of one\u2019s health.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Older adults<\/span><\/h4>\n

Older adults could enjoy obvious benefits of multigenerational households, such as<\/strong> shared costs, care and companionship. But a very valuable factor for grandparents is to enjoy time with their grandchildren.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

A study<\/span><\/a> published in ‘The Gerontologist’<\/em> described that having an affectionate grandparent-grandchild relationship can reduce depressive symptoms<\/a> in both groups.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

And for younger children, a report<\/span><\/a> by the Stanford Center showed<\/strong> that grandparents\/older adults are very well suited to meet some of the young children\u2019s needs. And the time spent with the young ones gives meaning and life purpose<\/a> to elders.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Challenges of multigenerational households<\/span><\/h3>\n

Of course a complex family setting can present challenges as well. <\/span><\/p>\n

\n

According to a research<\/span><\/a> conducted in the UK, problems appear when people feel like they have no privacy, personal space, or freedom. <\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Not being able to have friends<\/a> around, or do what you would like to do, could make you feel restricted in your freedom or actions. A participant in the study shared, <\/span>\u201cIf I have an argument with my husband, you feel restrained, you can\u2019t have a proper row when your mother\u2019s next door! It is a bit like always having a chaperone, which can be a bit inhibiting. Even when she\u2019s not there, you\u2019re kind of aware.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

In the end the research suggested that how content we feel in a multigenerational household depends on<\/strong> two factors. These are the involvement in the living arrangement ( if the people felt like they chose it, they felt more in harmony with their life) and privacy\/ individual freedom.<\/span><\/p>\n

How can we all live in peace?<\/span><\/h3>\n

So what can we do to live in peace in a multigenerational household?<\/span><\/p>\n

1. Communication.<\/span><\/h4>\n

This is a crucial element of any community really, but could be tricky, especially if the family carries a certain communication pattern<\/span><\/a>. If we can communicate our situation and problems freely, we will certainly eliminate possible stress factors<\/a>. Mutual respect is a key, and to have empathy<\/a> towards others.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

2. Clear boundaries.<\/span><\/h4>\n

\u00a0Two or more generations living together will have a different opinion on things. For example, grandparents will have an alternative opinion about raising their grandchildren than the parents, but they have to agree on a consistent approach.<\/span><\/p>\n

3. The balance between companionship and privacy.<\/span><\/h4>\n

Having our own space and time is important. Even if it\u2019s only a coffee enjoyed in silence in the morning, or some time for ourselves with our hobbies. The families where the members consider themselves happy with their multigenerational living situation described they feel togetherness and privacy in balance.<\/span><\/p>\n

Living in a multigenerational household and finding it stressful? Need someone to talk to? We connect you with some of London’s best therapists<\/span><\/a>. Not in London, or overseas? We also provide UK-wide registered therapists and online counsellors<\/span><\/a> on our sister booking site.\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\n

Still have a question about this article and multigenerational households? Or want to share you own experience and tips? Comment below.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\"LizLiz Szalai<\/strong> is a freelance writer and has a Master\u2019s Degree in psychology.She worked with children and young people for more than 15 years, including teaching students with learning difficulties. <\/span>Liz writes articles in various niches, has a holistic view of wellbeing, and a passion for destigmatising mental health. <\/span>See more about her at @lizszalaiwriter<\/a><\/span>.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

by Liz Szalai Multigenerational households were once the common way of living, and still is in some parts of the world. But in Western culture, with the need for independence promoted by society, the flexibility of work locations, and expat lifestyles? It all added to the rise of nuclear families instead.\u00a0 But are things starting […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":124005,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"yes","_lmt_disable":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[296,6],"tags":[325,1525],"class_list":["post-124003","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-parenting","category-relationships","tag-family","tag-family-issues","has_thumb"],"yoast_head":"\nMultigenerational Households - How to Navigate Living Together - Harley Therapy\u2122 Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Are we seeing the rise of multigenerational households again? 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But in Western culture, with the need for independence promoted by society, the flexibility of work locations, and expat lifestyles? It all added to the rise of nuclear families instead.\u00a0 But are things starting…","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/124003","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=124003"}],"version-history":[{"count":13,"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/124003\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":124034,"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/124003\/revisions\/124034"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/124005"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=124003"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=124003"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=124003"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}