{"id":14237,"date":"2016-03-10T11:00:14","date_gmt":"2016-03-10T11:00:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/?p=14237"},"modified":"2023-03-12T21:47:54","modified_gmt":"2023-03-12T21:47:54","slug":"the-effects-of-divorce-on-children","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/the-effects-of-divorce-on-children.htm","title":{"rendered":"The Effects of Divorce on Children \u2013 How Worried Should You Be?"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"effects

By: bantamania<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n

by Andrea M. Darcy<\/span><\/p>\n

Are you and your spouse considering a divorce?<\/a><\/span> But the question of whether or not it will be good for the children an argument that has you still hanging on?<\/p>\n

What are the true psychological effects of divorce on children? And should you really stay together for the kids?<\/em><\/p>\n

The effects of divorce on children have changed<\/h2>\n

When the psychological effects of divorce on children were first studied, the results did admittedly look rather dire… but then there was a tide shift.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

In 1985, a paper led by E. Mavis Hetherington<\/a> (who became the foremost expert on the effects of divorce) concluded children from divorced families suffered more negative life changes than their peers. They were more likely to have behavioural problems.<\/p>\n

A 1991 overview<\/a> of 92 other studies by researchers Amato and Keith added that children in single-parent homes exhibited more trouble at school, had lower self-esteem, and had <\/strong>more difficulties maintaining friendships.<\/p>\n

Another famous researcher on the topic of the effects of divorce was psychologist Judith Wallerstein. She was known for a 25-year long study<\/a><\/span> that claimed children from divorced families grow into adults with difficulties around intimacy and commitment.<\/strong><\/p>\n

But more than a decade later, in 2002, Hetherington co-authored a paper that found the short-term effects of divorce like anger and anxiety disappeared in most children by the end of the second year post the event. Only a small percentage of children continued to experience such negative effects longer term. What had changed? <\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Have the effects of divorce lessened?<\/h2>\n
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By: Daniel Lobo<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n

Obviously, our attitudes towards family structures have shifted in the two decades since these first studies. <\/strong><\/p>\n

Divorce, remarriage, and single-parent families are now socially acceptable. And indeed fairly normal in most sectors of Western society.<\/p>\n

Nowadays a child is not left to feel they are carrying a shameful secret if their parents split up.<\/strong> It\u2019s probable at least one or more of their friends also has divorced parents, or a different kind of family setup than the perceived \u2018norm\u2019.<\/p>\n

And with time, information has increased for parents who are coping with divorce. <\/strong>This means divorce can be handled in ways that allow children more resiliency. In fact the paper co-authored in 2002 by Hetherington that presented a more optimistic outcome for children of divorce was called “Resilience and vulnerability: Adaptation in the context of childhood adversities”.<\/p>\n

Was the original research about the effects of divorce flawed?<\/h2>\n

Generalisations aside, though, there is actually no recent comprehensive psychological study to show how much the effects of divorce have changed.<\/strong> With divorce’s move into the realm of ‘normality’, research dropped off. And it’s been well over a decade since any large-scale studies have been done.<\/p>\n

On a good note, the ominous original research has been exposed as flawed. <\/strong>For example, the large scale study carried out by Wallerstein only involved subjects who were all educated and middle-class \u2013 limited to say the least.<\/p>\n

The most glaring problem with the previous studies of the effects of divorce on children is that couples who divorce are unhappy, whereas those who stay together are more likely to be happy. So comparing unhappy families to happy ones does not necessarily prove the effects of divorce at all, but maybe just the affects of having happy or unhappy parents. <\/em><\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

This raises questions, like, are such children growing into adults afraid <\/strong>of commitment because their parents divorced? Or because they watched their unhappy parents relate to each other in damaging ways?<\/p>\n

The REAL damage from seeing your parents divorce?<\/h2>\n

A 2015 thread about divorce on a Reddit forum received attention from places like the Huffington Post. It revealed that the questions and issues being posed by kids were much less to do with ‘should my parents<\/p>\n

\"effects

By: annie<\/p><\/div>\n

have divorced’ (many seemed relieved their parents had finally split) and more to do with how <\/em>parents dealt with divorce.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Issues raised included:<\/p>\n