{"id":17790,"date":"2017-08-08T11:00:51","date_gmt":"2017-08-08T10:00:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/?p=17790"},"modified":"2022-11-29T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2022-11-29T12:00:00","slug":"first-therapy-session","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/first-therapy-session.htm","title":{"rendered":"7 Questions to Ask Yourself After Your First Therapy Session"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"therapy

By: Scott McLeod<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n

Your first therapy session is over, and<\/strong> you went prepared. You asked all the essential questions you should ask a new therapist<\/a>.<\/p>\n

But you are still uncertain if he or she is the therapist for you. <\/em><\/p>\n

It’s time to ask yourself <\/em>some good questions.<\/p>\n

7 Questions to ask after meeting a new therapist <\/i><\/h3>\n

The questions below are designed to help you decide if it was the therapist who is an issue, or other variables are at play that aren’t worth sabotaging a possible good match for.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

It can be very helpful to sit down and journal these out over just ‘thinking’.<\/strong> Journalling<\/a> can help short circuit your defences<\/a> and allow you to be more honest with yourself.<\/p>\n

1. Was the environment itself safe and comfortable?<\/span><\/h4>\n

Was the room your therapy session was held in safe, quiet, and clean?<\/strong> Then it has the essentials to carry out good therapy in.<\/p>\n

\"therapy

By: Joe Houghton<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n

Separate out things like<\/strong> not liking the building the office was in, or the transit ride there, or a painting on the wall. Obsessing over such things might just be your inner saboteur <\/a>trying to ruin your plan to find the support you need.<\/p>\n

2. Did the therapist seem a genuine person to me? <\/span><\/h4>\n

Try to drop any need here for the therapist to be a superhuman who has everything sorted out, or you’ll be looking for a therapist for a long time. <\/em><\/p>\n

Instead of perfection, look for authenticity. <\/em><\/p>\n

Did he or she seem comfortable in their skin?<\/strong> Confident? Did their personality seem consistent?<\/p>\n

3. Was the therapist fully present? <\/span><\/h4>\n

There is perhaps nothing worse then paying for a therapy session and very clearly realising<\/strong> that the therapist does not like their job and is thinking of other things.<\/p>\n

Did the therapist keep their focus on you? Did you feel listened to and acutely observed? <\/em>Or was he or she looking about, fiddling, stressed, or talking about themselves too much?<\/p>\n

4. Were they open to my questions?<\/span><\/h4>\n

A good therapist is happy to tell you about him or herself, including<\/strong> their education, experience, and how they feel they might be able to work with and help you.<\/p>\n

Of course if you are rude or insulting to a therapist, a good one will set a strong boundary<\/a>. They are there, after all, to show you healthy ways of being and relating.<\/p>\n

5. Did they offer unrealistic promises, or did they just make me feel hopeful?<\/span><\/h4>\n
\"therapy

By: Robert Nunnally<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n

If any therapist claims they can change your life<\/strong>, or implies they are the only one with the answers, check their credentials and be wary.<\/p>\n

A professional therapist will make it clear to you they are not a miracle maker.<\/strong> But they will also give you a clear idea of the skills they have to slowly but surely help you move forward in life.<\/p>\n

6. If I am generally wary of strangers anyway, did I feel more or less wary than usual?<\/span><\/h4>\n

The idea that you are going to walk into a room, meet a therapist for the first time, and totally trust them, is pretty illogical.<\/p>\n

Most people who come to therapy have trust issues. So if you’ve never trusted anyone before, you will not trust your therapist, either. Look for the possibility <\/em>of trust in the future. Could this be someone who, over time, you can relax and be yourself around? <\/strong><\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

7. How did I instinctively feel <\/em><\/span>around him or her?<\/span><\/h4>\n

Research shows that clients make progress as much from the relationship with their therapist as the therapeutic intervention itself.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

So you need to like the therapist.<\/p>\n

If it’s just that they remind you of a parent or a teacher you didn’t like,<\/strong> give it time. These might be good starting points for personal discoveries, not reasons you can’t get along.<\/p>\n

But if you just felt tense, annoyed, or not interested in him or her as a person,<\/strong> and it’s the way you usually feel with someone you can’t get along with, it might just not be a match.<\/p>\n

So what do I do if I feel they aren’t the therapist for me?<\/h3>\n

If there is any chance you can grow to trust them,<\/strong> four sessions (the assessment plus three working sessions) is recommended.<\/p>\n

If you really don’t feel it’s a match, <\/strong>send a clear and polite email or phone him or her. They might then be able to recommend a colleague they think would be more suitable, or suggest a different school of therapeutic thought<\/a> that suits your issues.<\/p>\n

Just be sure that you are not sabotaging getting help.<\/strong> Book a session with another therapist right away and try again. A good therapist takes time to find, but when you do find him or her, the changes you can see in your life make it well worth it.<\/p>\n

Harley Therapy connects you with warm, professional, and highly trained London-based counselling psychologists and psychotherapists<\/a>. Not in the UK? Try online therapy<\/a> from the comfort of your home or office. <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\n

Have a question about attending a therapy session? Or want to share a personal experience with our readers? Share in our public comment box below. <\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Do I think I could learn, over time, to trust <\/a>this person?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Your first therapy session is over, and you went prepared. You asked all the essential questions you should ask a new therapist. But you are still uncertain if he or she is the therapist for you. It’s time to ask yourself some good questions. 7 Questions to ask after meeting a new therapist The questions […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":18412,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"yes","_lmt_disable":"no","footnotes":""},"categories":[5311],"tags":[148],"class_list":["post-17790","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-going-to-therapy","tag-good-therapist","has_thumb"],"yoast_head":"\n7 Questions to Ask Yourself After Your First Therapy Session - Harley Therapy\u2122 Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Your first therapy session is over. 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