{"id":18218,"date":"2017-07-18T11:00:16","date_gmt":"2017-07-18T10:00:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/?p=18218"},"modified":"2023-03-09T18:36:59","modified_gmt":"2023-03-09T18:36:59","slug":"help-me-find-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/help-me-find-love.htm","title":{"rendered":"“Can Therapy Help Me Find Love at Last?” 5 Ways It Just Might"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"help<\/a>

By: Thomas Rousing<\/p><\/div>\n

Therapy is not a magic wand.<\/strong> It does not make you another person entirely, or give you a perfect fairytale life.<\/p>\n

But it can indeed help your love life, and here’s why.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

5 Ways Therapy Helps You Find Love<\/span><\/h2>\n

How exactly can therapy help you find love?<\/p>\n

1. Therapy helps you figure out who you really are.<\/span><\/h3>\n

Imagine if you hired someone to build your dream house for you. And they said, great, so what does it look like? And you said, I have no idea, but I expect you to just build it for me.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

That’s sort of what it’s like expecting someone to love you and build a strong relationship with you when you don’t really know who that ‘you’ is.<\/strong> Is it any wonder others find you confusing, or that you go along too easily with others’ desires only to then then panic and run from love<\/a>?<\/p>\n

If you grew up having to please others and do what is expected of you, <\/strong>then the real you gets lost in the shuffle.<\/p>\n

Therapy is all about digging out that real you,<\/strong> and learning how to understand yourself <\/a>at last.<\/p>\n

2. It helps you finally understand what love even is. <\/span><\/h3>\n

Did you grow up in a family where love was in short supply? <\/strong>With parents who were, say, distant and cold, or always fighting? Or simply unable to give you the unconditional love you needed?<\/p>\n

\"finding

By: State Library of New South Wales<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n

It’s very hard to know what a healthy, loving relationship is<\/a> if we have never seen one in action. Or to know what unconditional love is really like if we haven’t ever truly felt it.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

When we grow up in a loveless environment, we tend to then form unrealistic ideas<\/strong> about love on one hand. And on the other, we harbour unconscious core beliefs <\/a>that push love away. These can sound like, ‘love is dangerous’, ‘I can’t be myself and be loved’, or ‘if I love someone they’ll just reject me’.<\/p>\n

A therapist knows what love and healthy relating is. <\/strong>They’ve studied it, they are hopefully living it, and they have worked to help many others live it too.<\/p>\n

Your therapist helps you find a new perspective<\/a> on love that works, and assists you to identify and change your unhelpful core beliefs<\/a> about love.<\/p>\n

3. You will finally identify your real blocks to love.<\/span><\/h3>\n

If you think your blocks to love are that you are not pretty\/smart\/wealthy\/successful\/fit enough (you get the picture), think again.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The things that really block love are almost always psychological.<\/strong> They include things like:<\/p>\n