{"id":18262,"date":"2017-10-03T11:00:57","date_gmt":"2017-10-03T10:00:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/?p=18262"},"modified":"2022-05-16T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2022-05-16T11:00:00","slug":"therapy-love-and-romance","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/therapy-love-and-romance.htm","title":{"rendered":"5 More Ways Therapy Can Lead to Love and Romance"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"love<\/a>

By: Candida.Performa<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n

Can therapy help you find love and romance? <\/strong>Therapy isn’t a fairy godmother, but it can certainly help in this area.<\/p>\n

You might have already read our article on “How Therapy Can Help You Find Love at Last<\/a>“.<\/p>\n

This article offers 5 more useful ways that seeing a counsellor or psychotherapist helps you find love, and stay loved.<\/em><\/p>\n

1. Therapy helps you actually believe in love in the first place. <\/span><\/h4>\n

Sure you believe in love but you just haven’t found it yet?<\/p>\n

You might find in therapy that deep down a part of you thinks love is not real. Or, that if it does exist, it is for other people and not you <\/strong>because you are flawed or somehow unloveable<\/a>.<\/p>\n

These sorts of hidden negative beliefs<\/a> are called core beliefs<\/a>. They are assumptions<\/a> we make about the world when growing up, which then tend to control all the decisions we make <\/strong>in life.<\/p>\n

If our core beliefs about love and romance are negative, we’ll constantly make poor choices in this area of our life. <\/strong><\/p>\n

Or, we’ll drive love away until we learn to<\/strong> identify and change our core beliefs<\/a>. And yes, therapy is a good place to do so.<\/p>\n

2. Therapy uncovers the real secret about finding love. <\/span><\/h4>\n
\"love<\/a>

By: qthomasbower<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n

It’s common to believe that finding love and romance is beyond our control– we just haven’t found the ‘perfect’ partner yet.<\/strong><\/p>\n

We make lists of what he or she will be, and plot how to meet them.<\/p>\n

When really the real equation for love is not about ‘finding’ at all, but ‘becoming’. Love is about becoming the sort of person who can be actually be loved and loving in the first place. <\/em><\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

If we suffer fear of intimacy<\/a>, trust issues<\/a>, or severely low self-esteem<\/a>, the perfect person him or herself, if they did exist, could stand right in front of us <\/strong>and we either wouldn’t feel in love or would sabotage<\/a> things.<\/p>\n

Therapy is all about looking at what holds us back in life, and this includes<\/strong> what stops us from real connection with others. A good therapist also helps you to recognise your own inner resources<\/a>, which raises esteem<\/a> and your capacity to trust.<\/a><\/p>\n

3. Therapy helps you develop the ingredients you need to love and be loved. <\/span><\/h4>\n

We’ve mentioned in the point above that therapy helps with self-esteem and learning to trust.<\/p>\n

It also helps us develop an ability to communicate<\/strong> our wants and needs and have them met, which is crucial in taking relationships past the ‘crush’ stage into a real solid partnership.<\/p>\n

But there are other, less talked about but perhaps even more crucial ingredients <\/strong>to finding and maintaining a healthy relationship.<\/p>\n

These are skills that therapy can be the first place many of us finally learn.<\/strong> They are:<\/p>\n