{"id":2677,"date":"2013-04-05T18:01:19","date_gmt":"2013-04-05T17:01:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/?p=2677"},"modified":"1970-01-01T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"1970-01-01T11:00:00","slug":"help-for-hoarders-cbt-psychotherapy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/help-for-hoarders-cbt-psychotherapy.htm","title":{"rendered":"Help For Hoarders – Self-Help, CBT, Psychotherapy & Family Therapy"},"content":{"rendered":"
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photo by Our Bahcivancilar for Unsplash<\/p><\/div>\n

by Ruth Nina Welsh<\/span><\/p>\n

Are you or someone you know a hoarder<\/a>? What help for hoarders actually works?<\/p>\n

What does hoarding look like?<\/h2>\n

TV has shown us many a hoarder of late. We watch in horror and fascination at uninhabitable rooms crammed full of stuff. At stairs overflowing, blocked passageways and unusable, dangerous, kitchens and bathrooms.<\/p>\n

In the midst of this chaos is the hoarder<\/a>,\u00a0 an individual who doesn\u2019t always know and accept how bad things have become. They seem blind and deaf to the distress<\/a> of family<\/a> and friends<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Can anyone be a hoarder?<\/h2>\n

We all have a little of the hoarder in us. <\/b>In fact, the most helpful and accurate way of thinking about hoarding is that it exists on a continuum. At one end is minimalist living, through to overflowing chaos at the other.<\/p>\n

We all exist somewhere along this continuum and hoarding is always a matter of degree. Many of us struggle to part with things or declutter<\/a>.\u00a0 And we almost all have a room, or even just a closet, which is overflowing and fit to burst.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

When hoarding becomes an issue<\/h2>\n

The extremes of hoarding we see on these TV programmes<\/a>, though, have not occurred overnight. A person has been travelling along the hoarding continuum for many years and, over time, the problem has crept out of control.<\/p>\n

There are three main pointers which indicate we may have a real problem with hoarding.<\/em><\/p>\n

Can’t make choices.<\/h3>\n

Difficulty making rational choices<\/a> about what to let go of is a sign of hoarding disorder. This means keeping anything and everything,\u00a0 however old and worn, as it may be useful one day. The hoarder sees value in everything.<\/p>\n

Excessive anxiety.<\/h3>\n

If you have a problem with hoarding, you will have extreme anxiety<\/a> when sorting through things and trying to decide whether or not to let things go. Hoarders are emotional people, prone to empathy<\/a>, which can be part of their undoing. And they have a special relationship to their possessions.<\/p>\n

A hoarder feels that parting with something is like parting with their very self.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Valuable and worthless things side by side.<\/h3>\n

The massive volume of belongings and \u2018stuff\u2019 which has accumulated,<\/b> both valuable and worthless things, are often kept side by side. Things that others think are rubbish are valued by the hoarder. Excessive buying has often led to a mountain of things, sometimes unwrapped and unused, strewn in inaccessible boxes around the house.<\/p>\n

This accumulation is to be distinguished from a collector who cherishes, values and displays things beautifully.<\/strong> A cruel irony of hoarding is that possessions are held onto, that usually mean the world to the hoarder. And yet they are often poorly looked after.<\/p>\n

Self-help for hoarding<\/h2>\n

If your problem is not too severe, then becoming aware that you have hoarding tendencies<\/strong> is often enough to begin getting to grips with your \u2018stuff.\u2019 You can start to understand why you feel the need to keep things. And you can begin to actively challenge your behaviour and question your choices<\/a>. By parting with things and testing your feelings, you can create strategies so that your hoarding does not get out of hand.<\/p>\n

It is often an uphill struggle, and you need to be constantly aware.<\/strong> But you have that awareness, that choice, and you have a level of control. For great self-help support, try reading The Hoarder In You<\/i> by Dr Robin Zasio.<\/p>\n

In denial about your hoarding?<\/h2>\n

\"photoSometimes, though, for those with already established hoarding disasters? Denial<\/a> has shielded you from reality. To try to begin to penetrate this denial, here are some questions to consider:<\/p>\n