{"id":33527,"date":"2017-11-14T11:00:25","date_gmt":"2017-11-14T11:00:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/?p=33527"},"modified":"2023-03-07T15:26:21","modified_gmt":"2023-03-07T15:26:21","slug":"why-do-i-feel-hopeless","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/why-do-i-feel-hopeless.htm","title":{"rendered":"&#8220;Why Do I Feel Hopeless All the Time?&#8221;"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"attachment_33538\" style=\"width: 258px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/6212243397_cb24420764.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-33538\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-33538\" src=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/6212243397_cb24420764-248x400.jpg\" alt=\"why do i feel so hopeless\" width=\"248\" height=\"400\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/6212243397_cb24420764-248x400.jpg 248w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/6212243397_cb24420764.jpg 310w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 248px) 100vw, 248px\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-33538\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">By: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/crdot\/6212243397\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noreferrer\" \">Caleb Roenigk<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"color: #333399;\">by Andrea M. Darcy<\/span><\/p>\n<p><strong>What is hopelessness? It is when we<\/strong> feel that we have no options left.<\/p>\n<p><strong>If we were a balloon, it\u2019s not just that all the air is gone. We are sure there is also a<\/strong>\u00a0hole in the rubber, and that there is no feasible way we will ever recover from our utter deflation. &#8220;Why do I feel hopeless? Because <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/feel-like-giving-up.htm\">I am hopeless<\/a>.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><em>But when you understand what hopelessness really is, you&#8217;ll realise that most of us have far more options than we realise.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<h2><span style=\"color: #993366;\">Symptoms of hopelessness<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><strong>Not sure if what you are feeling is hopelessness, or you are just feeling low?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>If you work with a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/what-is-a-counselling-psychologist.htm\">counselling psychologist<\/a> they might use a special questionnaire with you, the &#8216;Beck Hopelessness Scale&#8217;, that actually rates your level of hopelessness (yes, really).<\/p>\n<p>But you can tell for yourself by<strong> looking for the main symptoms of hopelessness:<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>losing interest in things you used to care about<\/li>\n<li>no motivation to do anything<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/self-esteem-help-guide.htm\">low self-esteem<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/negative-thinking.htm\">negative thinking<\/a>.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"color: #800080;\">This last one, negative thinking, is important, and connected to all the others. Hopelessness is about the future (and what we perceive as a lack thereof). And as we are not in the future, how do we get there? With our <em>thoughts.<\/em> And unless we are living through a war, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-as-a-result-of-natural-disasters.htm\">natural disaster<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/truth-about-grief-and-bereavement.htm\">great loss<\/a>, then the thoughts we have when we feel hopeless are rarely based in fact. <\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"color: #333333;\"><strong>So why do you feel hopeless? You are generally being driven by<\/strong> negative <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/what-is-perspective.htm\">perspectives<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/how-to-change-your-core-beliefs.htm\">beliefs<\/a>, and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/making-assumptions.htm\">assumptions<\/a>.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span style=\"color: #993366;\">Are you thinking yourself hopeless?\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><strong>Many of these patterns of non-fact based thinking we practise when feeling hopeless are what is called<\/strong>\u00a0\u2018<a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/cognitive-distortions.htm\">cognitive distortions<\/a>\u2019 in psychology. These can include:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/black-and-white-thinking-stop-drama-addict.htm\"><strong>all or nothing thinking<\/strong><\/a> (I have no future, I will never be happy again, nobody will ever love me).<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/catastrophizing-always-assuming-the-worse-heres-why-you-should-stop.htm\"><strong>catastrophising<\/strong><\/a> (everything will go wrong, it\u2019s the end of the road).<\/li>\n<li><strong>fortunetelling<\/strong> (it will never get better, if I tried something bad would happen).<\/li>\n<li><strong>labelling<\/strong> (I\u2019m a loser, it\u2019s a failure).<\/li>\n<li><strong>discounting the positive<\/strong> (yes, I didn\u2019t lose my job, but I\u2019ll definitely be in the next round of cuts).<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<div id=\"attachment_33534\" style=\"width: 410px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/3569933450_b3a31dcbae.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-33534\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-33534\" src=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/3569933450_b3a31dcbae-400x294.jpg\" alt=\"why do i feel hopeless\" width=\"400\" height=\"294\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/3569933450_b3a31dcbae-400x294.jpg 400w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/3569933450_b3a31dcbae.jpg 500w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-33534\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">By: aNdrzej cH.<\/p><\/div>\n<p><strong>Of course it&#8217;s not as simple as just &#8216;deciding to think positive&#8217;. Thoughts such as these can be<\/strong> hard to control, are ways of thinking we&#8217;ve used for so long we don&#8217;t even know how to think differently, and\/or are related to deep-seated issues.<\/p>\n<h2><span style=\"color: #993366;\">Why do I feel hopeless all the time?<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><strong>It\u2019s normal to feel hopeless if you have recently experienced a big overwhelming life change like<\/strong> a natural disaster, accident, bereavement, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/the-effects-of-divorce-on-children.htm\">divorce<\/a>, or <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/getting-over-a-breakup.htm\">breakup<\/a>. In this case you need to give yourself several months to work through your emotions and eventually a sense of hope returns.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"color: #800080;\">But if you have actually felt hopeless for a long time \u2013 for several months, years, or even, secretly, for most of your life \u2013 then it\u2019s likely that you have had a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/what-is-psychological-trauma.htm\">traumatic experience<\/a> in your past that has damaged the way that you think about yourself, others, and the world.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>This might have been a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/what-is-childhood-trauma.htm\">childhood trauma<\/a>, such as <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/what-is-child-sexual-abuse-why-your-definition-might-need-updating.htm\">abuse<\/a>, neglect,<a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/abandonment-issues.htm\"> abandonment<\/a>, or poverty. Or it could be that you did not have an opportunity to form a loving, trusting bond with a caregiver as an infant, leading to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/attachment-theory-bowlby.htm\">attachment issues<\/a>.<\/p>\n<h2><span style=\"color: #993366;\">Why you need to pay attention to hopelessness<\/span><\/h2>\n<div id=\"attachment_33535\" style=\"width: 410px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-33535\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-33535\" src=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/4638453675_86a4ecbc0e-400x266.jpg\" alt=\"what is hopelessness\" width=\"400\" height=\"266\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/4638453675_86a4ecbc0e-400x266.jpg 400w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/4638453675_86a4ecbc0e.jpg 500w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/4638453675_86a4ecbc0e-180x120.jpg 180w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><p id=\"caption-attachment-33535\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">By: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/eflon\/4638453675\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noreferrer\" \">eflon<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"color: #666699;\">If hopelessness is something you&#8217;ve felt for a long time, then it can feel so normal to you that you don\u2019t even realise how much of a problem it is. You simply can no longer imagine a life where you feel that you have worth, and that your future has hope in it.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><strong>But it is very important to seek help if you recognise yourself in descriptions of hopelessness. Helplessness is a symptom of<\/strong> various mental health issues and, if left untreated, can leave you more vulnerable to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/myths-about-suicide.htm\">feeling suicidal<\/a>.<\/p>\n<h2><span style=\"color: #993366;\">Hopelessness and mental health issues<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><strong>Not surprisingly, feeling hopeless is one of the major <\/strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/depression-help-guide.htm\">symptoms of depression<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p><strong>But it\u2019s also a part of the following<\/strong> mental health issues:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/how-does-therapy-help-anxiety.htm\">anxiety<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/addiction-help-guide.htm\">addictions <\/a>and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/what-is-dual-diagnosis.htm\">substance abuse<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/bipolar-disorder.htm\">bipolar disorder<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/eating-disorder-causes-childhood.htm\">eating disorders<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/acute-stress-disorder-vs-ptsd.htm\">post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)\u00a0<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/compassion-for-borderline-personality-disorder.htm\">borderline personality disorder<\/a>.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2><span style=\"color: #993366;\">What sorts of talk therapy can help me with feelings of hopelessness?<\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Cognitive therapies are often suggested for feelings of hopelessness. They work to help you recognise an change the link between your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. (Read our article that explains all <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/the-cognitive-approach-therapies.htm\">the different types of cognitive therapy <\/a>for more).<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/existential-therapy-right-fit.htm\">Existential therapy<\/a> is another approach altogether that some find useful for hopelessness. It uses philosophy to help you determine what actually matters for you, and how you can make steps toward a life that feels meaningful.<\/p>\n<p><strong><span style=\"color: #666699;\">Would you like to talk to an <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/therapists.htm\">experienced counsellor or psychotherapist<\/a> about your feelings of hopelessness? <a href=\"https:\/\/harleytherapy.com\">Harley Therapy<\/a> now connects you to professional talk therapists across the UK, as well as worldwide via Teams &amp; Zoom.\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p><em><strong>Have a question about hopelessness, or want to share your own experience with it? Post in our public comment box below.\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span style=\"color: #333399;\"><b><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-thumbnail wp-image-117271 alignleft\" src=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/headshot-yellow-e1675110089673-150x150.png\" alt=\"Andrea M. Darcy\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/headshot-yellow-e1675110089673-150x150.png 150w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/headshot-yellow-e1675110089673-200x200.png 200w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/headshot-yellow-e1675110089673-50x50.png 50w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/headshot-yellow-e1675110089673.png 268w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px\" \/>Andrea M. Darcy<\/b> is a health and wellbeing writer as well as mentor, trained in person-centred counselling and coaching. She often writes about trauma, relationships, and ADHD. Find her on Instagram @am_darcy<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>by Andrea M. Darcy What is hopelessness? It is when we feel that we have no options left. If we were a balloon, it\u2019s not just that all the air is gone. We are sure there is also a\u00a0hole in the rubber, and that there is no feasible way we will ever recover from our [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":33535,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"yes","_lmt_disable":"no","footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[3,378],"class_list":["post-33527","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-depression","tag-anxiety","tag-depression","has_thumb"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v27.0 (Yoast SEO v27.0) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>&quot;Why Do I Feel Hopeless All the Time?&quot; - Harley Therapy\u2122 Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"&quot;Why do I feel hopeless all the time?&quot;. 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Darcy","author_link":"#"},"uagb_comment_info":10,"uagb_excerpt":"by Andrea M. Darcy What is hopelessness? It is when we feel that we have no options left. If we were a balloon, it\u2019s not just that all the air is gone. We are sure there is also a\u00a0hole in the rubber, and that there is no feasible way we will ever recover from our&hellip;","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33527","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/8"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=33527"}],"version-history":[{"count":18,"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33527\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":139892,"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33527\/revisions\/139892"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/33535"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=33527"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=33527"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=33527"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}