{"id":82438,"date":"2018-02-20T11:00:30","date_gmt":"2018-02-20T11:00:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/?p=82438"},"modified":"2023-03-16T08:45:59","modified_gmt":"2023-03-16T08:45:59","slug":"self-esteem-for-teens","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/self-esteem-for-teens.htm","title":{"rendered":"Self-Esteem for Teens – How Can You Help Your Son or Daughter?"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"self<\/a>

By: Ciokka<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n

by Andrea M. Darcy<\/span><\/p>\n

It’s a hard thing for a parent to notice that their teen has<\/strong> low self-esteem<\/span><\/a>. What can you do to help?<\/p>\n

[For a general overview on what low self-esteem is and its symptoms, see our Guide to Self-Esteem<\/a><\/span>.]\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

How to Help Your Teen With Low Self-Esteem Problems\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n

Try these steps to ensure that your support is constructive over destructive.<\/p>\n

1. Halt the Advice.\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n

You love your teen. You want him or her be happy.\u00a0So\u00a0you\u00a0might be offering them\u00a0non-stop\u00a0advice on how to lead their lives.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Psychologist Erik Erikson, who identified the eight stages of psychosocial development from birth to adult, called ages 12-18 the time of ‘identity vs. role confusion’.<\/strong><\/p>\n

It’s important for your teen’s psychological growth that they are allowed the space to explore what\u00a0 they think, feel, and believe in.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

This naturally means most teens don’t want to be told what to do.\u00a0<\/strong>So advice can lead a teen to shut down, or can even lower their self-esteem as they still feel like a child.<\/p>\n

TIP:\u00a0<\/strong> Replacing advice with\u00a0listening can help your teen can find his or her own answers.\u00a0Take a good look at your listening skills<\/span><\/a>. How could you honestly improve them?\u00a0 The next tip can help with this.\u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

2. Ask good questions.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n
\"self<\/a>

By: Beatnik Photos<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n

Questions are actually a form of listening, because you have to <\/strong>listen carefully\u00a0to know what to ask.<\/p>\n

Done right, you might be surprised how much your teen starts<\/strong> opening up to you.<\/p>\n

TIP:<\/strong>\u00a0Go for ‘how’ and ‘what’ questions (why questions tend to leave people feeling judged or interrogated). Read our piece on “Asking Good Questions<\/span><\/a>” for more on this.\u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

3. Cull the criticism.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n

Parents can say on one hand they want their child to have self-esteem, and then in the next step be teasing their teen about their ‘baby fat’, or turning a blind eye as a partner lays into their son or daughter for one dropped grade, or a sibling taunts them.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Nobody is perfect.\u00a0And parenting is hard<\/span><\/a>.\u00a0But if the dynamic in your family is not supportive, it has to<\/strong> be admitted to and looked at. If the criticism<\/span><\/a> feels out of control, consider family therapy<\/span><\/a>.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

TIP:<\/strong><\/p>\n

If you aren’t sure if your household is or is not a critical one, look for the following:<\/em><\/p>\n