{"id":88272,"date":"2018-05-03T11:00:07","date_gmt":"2018-05-03T10:00:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/?p=88272"},"modified":"2023-03-08T15:24:07","modified_gmt":"2023-03-08T15:24:07","slug":"what-is-emotional-dsyregulation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/what-is-emotional-dsyregulation.htm","title":{"rendered":"What is Emotional Dysregulation?"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"attachment_88279\" style=\"width: 410px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-88279\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-88279\" src=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/8514700590_cd05bc3bbd-400x266.jpg\" alt=\"what is emotional dysregulation\" width=\"400\" height=\"266\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/8514700590_cd05bc3bbd-400x266.jpg 400w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/8514700590_cd05bc3bbd.jpg 500w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/8514700590_cd05bc3bbd-180x120.jpg 180w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><p id=\"caption-attachment-88279\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">By: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/carbonnyc\/8514700590\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noreferrer\" \">David Goehring<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"color: #333399;\">by Andrea M. Darcy<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Confused by a diagnosis of emotional dsyregulation? It\u2019s a complicated term for a personality trait that means you are more emotional than most.<\/p>\n<h2>What is emotional dysregulation?<\/h2>\n<blockquote><p>Think of a singer who can sing many more octaves than the people around her. She can\u2019t stop herself from breaking into song spontaneously when the \u2018muse\u2019 hits, and when she sings, she is completely taken by the music. Now replace her singing with emotions, and you are approaching what it feels like to have emotional dysregulation.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"color: #333333;\"><strong>Emotional dysregulation (ED), also called \u2018emotional hyperactivity\u2019, means that you are more emotionally responsive than an average person.<\/strong> Your emotions will be triggered more quickly, and will tend to be on a bigger scale. You <\/span><span style=\"color: #333333;\">also have more difficulty controlling your emotions than others do. Your might often feel taken over and lost in your emotional states.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><strong>Emotional dysregulation can look like:<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/anger-management-help-guide.htm\">angry outbursts <\/a>( you can go from fine to rage in a few seconds)<\/li>\n<li>breaking into tears often<\/li>\n<li>\u2018freaking out\u2019 all the time and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/black-and-white-thinking-stop-drama-addict.htm\">being called &#8216;too dramatic&#8217;<\/a><\/li>\n<li>accusing\/<a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/why-we-put-the-blame-on-others.htm\">blaming people<\/a> of things before you have facts<\/li>\n<li>breaking things when you are upset<\/li>\n<li>not just <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/depression-vs-sadness.htm\">feeling sad<\/a>, but<a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/feeling-suicidal-or-like-self-harming-techniques-to-stop-distress.htm\"> feeling suicidal<\/a><\/li>\n<li>lashing out at others before you can stop yourself<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/abandonment-issues.htm\">feeling abandoned<\/a> by others all the time<\/li>\n<li>others always saying you <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/are-you-overreacting-how-to-tell.htm\">overreact<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/nobody-understands-me.htm\">feeling misunderstood<\/a> by those around you<\/li>\n<li>your moods swinging rapidly in ways other people find confusing.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"color: #800080;\">Of course most articles about emotional dysregulation focus on the ways it makes life hard, so on the \u2018negative\u2019 side to things. But if you have emotional dysregulation, you can also be more deeply touched by things like art and music than others, and able to experience profound joy. With time, when you get to know yourself better, you might find that you also have a talent for\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/sympathy-and-empathy.htm\">showing empathy<\/a>.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<div id=\"attachment_88280\" style=\"width: 410px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-88280\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-88280\" src=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/4270799733_47bed584de-400x300.jpg\" alt=\"emotional dsyregulation\" width=\"400\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/4270799733_47bed584de-400x300.jpg 400w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/4270799733_47bed584de.jpg 500w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><p id=\"caption-attachment-88280\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">By: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/afgmatters\/4270799733\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noreferrer\" \">Afghanistan Matters<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n<h2>So if I have emotional dysregulation there is something wrong with me?<\/h2>\n<p><strong>It\u2019s important to keep in mind that <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/a-personality-disorder-diagnosis-helpful-or-a-trap.htm\">mental health labels<\/a> are not &#8216;diseases&#8217;.<\/strong> You can\u2019t see them under a microscope. They are just ways of referring to people who deviate from the norm of the Western society we live in.<\/p>\n<p><strong> For <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/what-is-perspective.htm\">perspective<\/a>, even in Western society some countries accept big emotions more than others.<\/strong> It is, for example, less frowned on to break into yelling or tears in Italy than it is in America.<\/p>\n<p><strong>At the same time, emotional dysregulation is a very big deal if it is making your daily life hard. <\/strong><\/p>\n<p>This can look like:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>dramatic and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/assumptions-in-relationships.htm\">exhausting romantic relationships<\/a><\/li>\n<li>being <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/how-to-find-friends.htm\">unable to keep friends<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/unemployment-improving-self-esteem.htm\">trouble holding down a job<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/self-compassion.htm\">low self-esteem<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/how-to-overcome-loneliness.htm\">loneliness<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/money-problems.htm\">money problems<\/a><\/li>\n<li>criminal charges or incarceration<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/managing-suicidal-thoughts.htm\">suicidal thinking<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/rise-in-self-harming.htm\">self-harm.<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"color: #800080;\">So instead of focussing on what is \u2018wrong\u2019 with you, consider focussing on how you can work with yourself so that your emotional sensitivity does not <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/self-sabotage.htm\">sabotage<\/a> the things that are important to you.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<h2>Why do I have emotional dysregulation?<\/h2>\n<p>[Note that for some people emotional dysregulation is simply medical, caused by a head trauma.]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Like most psychological conditions, there is no exact answer. It varies by the individual, and tends to be a mix of <\/strong>biological and environmental factors.<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_88282\" style=\"width: 410px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/5507628295_d3b062b605.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-88282\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-88282\" src=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/5507628295_d3b062b605-400x266.jpg\" alt=\"what is emotional dysregulation\" width=\"400\" height=\"266\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/5507628295_d3b062b605-400x266.jpg 400w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/5507628295_d3b062b605.jpg 500w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/5507628295_d3b062b605-180x120.jpg 180w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-88282\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">By: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/paul_everett82\/5507628295\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noreferrer\" \">Paul J Everett<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n<p><strong>It does seem that some children are biologically born more likely to have\u00a0<\/strong>emotional dysregulation. Infants can show signs of dysregulation at several months old, and some then grow up to have behavioural and emotional problems.<\/p>\n<p><strong>But ED can be a result of the way you were parented<\/strong>. For our emotional system to develop in a healthy way, we need to have a caregiver we can trust to love and be there for us no matter what our behaviour . (This is the idea behind what is known as &#8216;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/attachment-theory-bowlby.htm\">attachment theory<\/a>&#8216;). Of course we also need that parent to give us freedom as we learn to venture out and try things for ourselves.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"color: #666699;\">If our primary caregiver instead ignores our needs, is unreliable and unpredictable, or is smothering?\u00a0 Then it disrupts our healthy emotional development. We don\u2019t learn to self regulate well.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/what-is-childhood-trauma.htm\">Childhood trauma<\/a>\u00a0as well as recent trauma can also cause emotional dysregulation.<\/strong> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/childhood-effects-of-trauma.htm\">Trauma affects the brain<\/a>, leaving it less able to manage stress.<\/p>\n<h2>Emotional dsyregulation and other disorders<\/h2>\n<p><strong>ED is often connected to\u00a0these mental health disorders :<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/borderline-personality-disorder-treatment-therapy.htm\">Borderline personality disorder (BPD)<\/a> &#8211;\u00a0 <\/strong> this is the disorder most connected to emotional dysregulation.\u00a0In fact it is sometimes (and more fittingly) called \u2018unstable personality disorder\u2019, or even \u2018emotional dysregulation disorder\u2019.<\/p>\n<p><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/adult-adhd-quiz\">Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)<\/a> &#8211; <\/strong>the frustration<a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/adult-adhd-case-study.htm\"> ADHD<\/a> causes can lead to outbursts and mood swings. And the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/what-is-impulsivity.htm\">impulsive behaviour<\/a> can cause drama and irritability.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/acute-stress-disorder-vs-ptsd.htm\"><strong>Post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0&#8211; it leaves sufferers very jumpy and always in the stress response, meaning you are prone to overreact.<\/p>\n<p><strong>And ED tends to come hand-in-hand with several psychological issues:\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><a href=\"http:\/\/www.apy.co.uk\">\u00a0Addictive behaviours<\/a> &#8211; <\/strong>this includes things like smoking, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/alcohol-and-depression.htm\">alcoholism<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/club-drugs-and-therapy.htm\">drugs<\/a>, and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/truth-about-overeating-case-study.htm\">overeating<\/a>. The addiction is used as a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/good-coping-skills.htm\">coping mechanism<\/a> to control and numb the big emotions you feel.<\/p>\n<p><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/rise-in-self-harming.htm\">Self-harm<\/a>\u00a0<\/strong>&#8211; this can be used in the same way as addictive behaviours, to &#8216;numb out&#8217;.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Other issues and disorders connected to emotional dysregulation are:\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/bipolar-disorder.htm\">bipolar disorder<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/what-to-do-if-you-feel-depressed.htm\">depression<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/the-new-eating-disorders.htm\">eating disorders<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/narcissistic-personality-disorder.htm\">narcissistic personality disorder<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/sleep-help-guide.htm\">sleep problems<\/a>.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2>What do I do if I think I have emotional dysregulation?<\/h2>\n<p><strong>It&#8217;s important to seek a proper diagnosis over self-diagnosing, which can cause unnecessary stress.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>A <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/types-of-therapists.htm\">psychologist or psychiatrist<\/a> will be able to determine if it is emotional dysregulation or not. If so,\u00a0 they will discuss with you what treatment is best. This does not always have to involve medication. If you have borderline personality disorder, for example, they will suggest you try <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/borderline-personality-disorder-treatment-therapy.htm\">a talk therapy designed to help those with BPD<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p><strong><span style=\"color: #808080;\">Harley Therapy connects you with <span style=\"color: #800080;\"><a style=\"color: #800080;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling-psychologist-london.htm\">counselling and clinical psychologists<\/a><\/span> and <a style=\"color: #808080;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/psychiatrists-london.htm\">psychiatrists<\/a> in London who can diagnose emotional dysregulation. Already have a diagnoses, not in London, and need an affordable therapist?\u00a0\u00a0Visit our sister site<span style=\"color: #800080;\">\u00a0<a style=\"color: #800080;\" href=\"https:\/\/harleytherapy.com\/?utm_source=Harley%20Therapy%20Blog&amp;utm_content=Post%20End\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" data-saferedirecturl=\"https:\/\/www.google.com\/url?hl=en&amp;q=https:\/\/harleytherapy.com\/?utm_source%3DHarley%2520Therapy%2520Blog%26utm_content%3DPost%2520End&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1525421345042000&amp;usg=AFQjCNE4rr68KGuXu7kJGoC-y1lzhuFGaQ\">harleytherapy.com<\/a><\/span> to book therapy delivered online, by phone or in person.\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span style=\"color: #333399;\"><strong><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-thumbnail wp-image-117271 alignleft\" src=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/headshot-yellow-e1675110089673-150x150.png\" alt=\"Andrea M. Darcy mental health expert\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/headshot-yellow-e1675110089673-150x150.png 150w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/headshot-yellow-e1675110089673-200x200.png 200w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/headshot-yellow-e1675110089673-50x50.png 50w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/headshot-yellow-e1675110089673.png 268w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px\" \/>Andrea<\/strong><b> M. Darcy<\/b> is a mental health and wellbeing expert, who has done some training in person-centred counselling and coaching. She often writes about trauma, relationships, and ADHD, and advises people on how to plan their therapy journey. Find her on Instagram @am_darcy<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>by Andrea M. Darcy Confused by a diagnosis of emotional dsyregulation? It\u2019s a complicated term for a personality trait that means you are more emotional than most. What is emotional dysregulation? Think of a singer who can sing many more octaves than the people around her. She can\u2019t stop herself from breaking into song spontaneously [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":88279,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"yes","_lmt_disable":"no","footnotes":""},"categories":[399,223,59],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-88272","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-adhd-and-autism","category-personality-disorders","category-theory-and-training","has_thumb"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v27.3 (Yoast SEO v27.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>What is Emotional Dysregulation? - Harley Therapy\u2122 Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"What is emotional dysregulation? 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Darcy\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"6 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\\\/counselling\\\/what-is-emotional-dsyregulation.htm\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\\\/counselling\\\/what-is-emotional-dsyregulation.htm\",\"name\":\"What is Emotional Dysregulation? - Harley Therapy\u2122 Blog\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\\\/counselling\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\\\/counselling\\\/what-is-emotional-dsyregulation.htm#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\\\/counselling\\\/what-is-emotional-dsyregulation.htm#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\\\/counselling\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/8514700590_cd05bc3bbd.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2018-05-03T10:00:07+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2023-03-08T15:24:07+00:00\",\"description\":\"What is emotional dysregulation? 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Darcy","author_link":"#"},"uagb_comment_info":12,"uagb_excerpt":"by Andrea M. Darcy Confused by a diagnosis of emotional dsyregulation? It\u2019s a complicated term for a personality trait that means you are more emotional than most. What is emotional dysregulation? Think of a singer who can sing many more octaves than the people around her. 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