{"id":88417,"date":"2018-05-22T11:00:42","date_gmt":"2018-05-22T10:00:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/?p=88417"},"modified":"2023-03-14T03:32:43","modified_gmt":"2023-03-14T03:32:43","slug":"why-am-i-so-oversensitive","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/why-am-i-so-oversensitive.htm","title":{"rendered":"\u201cWhy Am I So Oversensitive?\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"attachment_88419\" style=\"width: 410px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-88419\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-88419\" src=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/36349369085_8b81232334-400x266.jpg\" alt=\"oversensitive\" width=\"400\" height=\"266\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/36349369085_8b81232334-400x266.jpg 400w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/36349369085_8b81232334.jpg 500w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/36349369085_8b81232334-180x120.jpg 180w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><p id=\"caption-attachment-88419\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">By: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/strelka\/36349369085\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noreferrer\" \">Strelka Institute for Media, Architecture and Design<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n<p>Being oversensitive can feel a blessing and a curse.<\/p>\n<p><em>Do you often feel like you were born with the capacity to feel things that others just can\u2019t?<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Or lack the self protective \u2018skin\u2019 others seem to naturally have?<\/em><\/p>\n<h3>Are you emotionally sensitive?<\/h3>\n<p>&#8220;Oversensitive&#8221; is perhaps not the best term because it is a judgement. It implies that your level of sensitivity is &#8216;too much&#8217;, or not acceptable.<\/p>\n<p>Other terms are &#8217;emotionally sensitive&#8217; or the trendy &#8216;highly sensitive person&#8217; tag.<\/p>\n<p>Being emotionally sensitive can look like the following:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>if someone raises their voice you run off or cry<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/depression-vs-sadness.htm\">sad<\/a> or violent films make you cry or feel deeply upset<\/li>\n<li>you might <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/avoidant-personality-disorder.htm\">avoid people<\/a> or situations that upset you<\/li>\n<li>things like music, art, and<a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/what-is-ecopsychology.htm\"> nature<\/a> move you more than others<\/li>\n<li>sensory output (noise, lights, smells) can be overwhelming<\/li>\n<li>timeouts in quiet, calm places are things you need<\/li>\n<li>You suffer<a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/living-with-walking-depression.htm\"> intermittent depression<\/a>.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<div><strong><span id=\"m_-3417293692078713378gmail-docs-internal-guid-89a9a692-d8ab-5cfe-f9fb-798919b3294f\" style=\"color: #666699;\">[Is your oversensitivity getting you down? Visit our sister site<span style=\"color: #333399;\"><a style=\"color: #333399;\" href=\"https:\/\/harleytherapy.com\/?utm_source=Harley%20Therapy%20Blog&#038;utm_content=Mid%20Post\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" data-saferedirecturl=\"https:\/\/www.google.com\/url?hl=en&amp;q=https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.com\/?utm_source%3DHarley%2520Therapy%2520Blog%26utm_content%3DMid%2520Post&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1527068178004000&amp;usg=AFQjCNHA7S1-h6OzRM39-_oQ04mNhYKZdw\"> harleytherapy.com<\/a><\/span> to book online or phone counselling easily and quickly, worldwide. ]<\/span><\/strong><\/div>\n<h3>Can I be diagnosed as an oversensitive person?<\/h3>\n<div id=\"attachment_88420\" style=\"width: 410px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-88420\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-88420\" src=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/11608318283_a5487e9d93-1-400x382.jpg\" alt=\"oversensitive\" width=\"400\" height=\"382\" \/><p id=\"caption-attachment-88420\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">By: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/vuhung\/11608318283\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noreferrer\" \">Nguyen Hung Vu<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n<p><strong>There has been quite the hype around being a \u2018highly sensitive person\u2019 in the last few years.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s a buzz created by an American psychologist Elaine Aron, who coined the phrase with her series of successful books.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/scottbarrykaufman.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/Pers-Soc-Psychol-Rev-2012-Aron-1088868311434213.pdf\">Aron\u2019s main research paper<\/a> looks at animal studies. It then connects this to research done on human personality traits to suggest that \u2018sensitivity\u2019 might be a trait we can be born with. I<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"color: #800080;\">It&#8217;s an interesting hypothesis. But it&#8217;s actually only that, and based on other people&#8217;s research at that. There are far too many other factors to yet claim we are just \u2018born sensitive\u2019. <\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><strong>Aron admits this herself in her main research paper. <\/strong>Its says, &#8220;personality differences can be related to many factors, including of course the physical and social environment, development of specialised skills through experience using them, and as a side effect of other inherited traits such as growth rate in nonhuman animals and body size and strength in human extraverts.\u201d<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"color: #800080;\">And the hypothesis of \u2018I am just born highly sensitive\u2019 has a dangerous side. It can mean someone does not take the time to look at other contributing factors that can actually be effectively treated.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<h3>What Can Cause Emotional Oversensitivity?<\/h3>\n<p><strong>Before writing off your oversensitivity as just something you were born with and can&#8217;t change<\/strong>, consider other possible contributing factors.<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_88422\" style=\"width: 410px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/7901070186_7d7e1ae035-2.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-88422\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-88422\" src=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/7901070186_7d7e1ae035-2-400x286.jpg\" alt=\"oversensitive\" width=\"400\" height=\"286\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/7901070186_7d7e1ae035-2-400x286.jpg 400w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/7901070186_7d7e1ae035-2.jpg 500w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-88422\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">By: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/dina_might\/7901070186\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noreferrer\" \">F\u00e9lix Batista<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/what-is-childhood-trauma.htm\"><strong>Childhood trauma<\/strong><\/a> <strong>is the leading contributor <\/strong>to emotional oversensitivity.<\/p>\n<p>This can be physical, emotional, or <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/what-is-child-sexual-abuse-why-your-definition-might-need-updating.htm\">sexual abuse<\/a>. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/childhood-effects-of-trauma.htm\">Childhood<\/a> trauma throws a child into a sort of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/acute-stress-disorder-vs-ptsd.htm\">long-term PTSD<\/a>, where they are always on alert. This can include emotionally.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Flawed parenting can also causes emotional oversensitivity.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/attachment-theory-bowlby.htm\">Attachment theory<\/a> suggests that you need at least one caregiver as a child who offers you unconditional love and is trustworthy. If your main caregiver was instead unreliable \u2013 if they only loved you when you were \u2018good\u2019, for example, of if they were mentally ill or emotionally unavailable \u2013 then you will grow up to have what is called \u2018<a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/attachment-styles.htm\">anxious attachment<\/a>\u2019. This leaves you overly attuned and responsive to other people\u2019s actions.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"color: #993366;\">The most important thing to note here is that both childhood trauma and unsuccessful parenting are issues that can be effectively treated with talk therapies.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<h3>Emotional sensitivity and <a href=\"\/psychological-issues-counselling.htm\">psychological disorders<\/a><\/h3>\n<p><strong>While being \u2018highly sensitive\u2019 is not a diagnosis, there are proper diagnosis that encompass some forms of emotional oversensitivity.<\/strong> These include:<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/borderline-personality-disorder-treatment-therapy.htm\"><strong><span style=\"color: #993366;\">Borderline personality disorder<\/span><\/strong><\/a> \u2013 often related to<a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/were-you-sexually-abused-as-a-child.htm\"> childhood sexual abuse<\/a>, BPD sees you having strong, uncontrollable emotional responses in relationships.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/adult-adhd-quiz\"><strong><span style=\"color: #993366;\">ADHD<\/span><\/strong><\/a> \u2013 attention deficit hyperactivity disorder causes <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/what-is-impulsivity.htm\">impulsivity<\/a>, which can include emotional impulsivity (try our <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/adult-adhd-quiz\">ADHD quiz<\/a> to see if you might have it).<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/quiz-stressed-or-depressed\"><span style=\"color: #993366;\"><strong>Major Depression<\/strong><\/span><\/a> \u2013 depression causes cycles of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/negative-thinking.htm\">negative thinking<\/a> so that we interpret everything as against us, then have bigger emotional responses than those around us understand.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/what-is-social-anxiety-disorder.htm\"><span style=\"color: #993366;\"><strong>Social anxiety<\/strong><\/span><\/a> \u2013 anxiety causes <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/balanced-thinking-benefits.htm\">overthinking<\/a>, which means we can be oversensitive.<\/p>\n<h3>Conclusion<\/h3>\n<p><strong>If considering yourself as a &#8216;highly sensitive person&#8217; (HSP) helps you understand yourself,<\/strong> and works to make your life easier and more fulfilled, wonderful. And if it means you focus your sensitivity in useful ways like being creative and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/sympathy-and-empathy.htm\">empathetic<\/a>, even better.<\/p>\n<p><strong>But if you find you are using being oversensitive as an excuse, then not so great.<\/strong> If you are <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/fear-of-intimacy.htm\">opting out of relationships<\/a>, for example, or not going after the career you want, because you are \u2018too sensitive\u2019, then that is not helpful.<\/p>\n<p><strong>And if you suspect you had childhood trauma or did not receive the love and care you needed when young, <\/strong>then it\u2019s a very wise idea to reach out for support.<\/p>\n<p><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/what-are-adverse-childhood-experiences-aces.htm\">Difficult childhoods<\/a> do not have to be life sentences.<\/strong> There are many types of therapy geared to help you. You can new ways of thinking and being that mean you are no longer controlled by your sensitivities, but can use them in ways that benefit you.<\/p>\n<p><strong><span style=\"color: #808080;\">Want help with managing your oversensitivity? Harley Therapy connects you with highly experienced<a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/\"> therapists in several London locations<\/a>. Not in London? For <span style=\"color: #666699;\"><a style=\"color: #666699;\" href=\"https:\/\/harleytherapy.com\/therapists?location_type=skype&amp;utm_source=Harley%20Therapy%20Blog&amp;utm_content=Post%20End\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" data-saferedirecturl=\"https:\/\/www.google.com\/url?hl=en&amp;q=https:\/\/harleytherapy.com\/therapists?location_type%3Dskype%26utm_source%3DHarley%2520Therapy%2520Blog%26utm_content%3DPost%2520End&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1527068178004000&amp;usg=AFQjCNFKz3_6n-_FSLoJjpAw_2uHN75Ldg\">affordable counselling worldwide<\/a>,<\/span> please visit our sister site<span style=\"color: #666699;\"> <a style=\"color: #666699;\" href=\"https:\/\/harleytherapy.com\/?utm_source=Harley%20Therapy%20Blog&amp;utm_content=Post%20End\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" data-saferedirecturl=\"https:\/\/www.google.com\/url?hl=en&amp;q=https:\/\/harleytherapy.com\/?utm_source%3DHarley%2520Therapy%2520Blog%26utm_content%3DPost%2520End&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1527068178004000&amp;usg=AFQjCNF4gBXvfJAAYd87Fyid7BGTAm0Smw\">harleytherapy.com<\/a><\/span> . <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p><em><strong>Still have a question about being oversensitive? Post in the public comment box below. <\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Being oversensitive can feel a blessing and a curse. Do you often feel like you were born with the capacity to feel things that others just can\u2019t? Or lack the self protective \u2018skin\u2019 others seem to naturally have? Are you emotionally sensitive? &#8220;Oversensitive&#8221; is perhaps not the best term because it is a judgement. It [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":88419,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"yes","_lmt_disable":"no","footnotes":""},"categories":[21,6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-88417","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-anxiety-and-stress","category-relationships","has_thumb"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v27.3 (Yoast SEO v27.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>\u201cWhy Am I So Oversensitive?\u201d - Harley Therapy\u2122 Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Are you oversensitive? Is it affecting your relationships, your career, and your home life? Oversensitivity has been hyped as a &#039;personality trait&#039; but is often caused by several other factors. 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If you are emotionally sensitive, there is help available.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/why-am-i-so-oversensitive.htm\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Harley Therapy\u2122 Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/harleytherapy\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2018-05-22T10:00:42+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2023-03-14T03:32:43+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/36349369085_8b81232334.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"500\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"333\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Andrea M. 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Oversensitivity has been hyped as a 'personality trait' but is often caused by several other factors. 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Darcy","author_link":"#"},"uagb_comment_info":10,"uagb_excerpt":"Being oversensitive can feel a blessing and a curse. Do you often feel like you were born with the capacity to feel things that others just can\u2019t? Or lack the self protective \u2018skin\u2019 others seem to naturally have? Are you emotionally sensitive? &#8220;Oversensitive&#8221; is perhaps not the best term because it is a judgement. 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