{"id":93888,"date":"2018-06-19T11:00:06","date_gmt":"2018-06-19T10:00:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/?p=93888"},"modified":"2023-03-14T05:05:32","modified_gmt":"2023-03-14T05:05:32","slug":"overcoming-fear-of-failure","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/overcoming-fear-of-failure.htm","title":{"rendered":"Overcoming Fear of Failure – What To Do When It Next Hits"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"overcoming

By: QuotesEverlasting<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n

by Andrea M. Darcy<\/span><\/p>\n

Overcoming fear of failure requires a lot more than a pep talk.<\/strong> <\/span>Why? A true fear of failure is rarely present-based<\/a> or even logic. <\/span><\/p>\n

Yes, you might have a big presentation to do, and yes, your fear of messing it up is real. <\/span><\/p>\n

But if fear of failure is something you constantly battle with, then it\u2019s probably connected to your past and to childhood experiences.<\/strong> (Read our article on \u201cWhy You Experience Fear of Failure<\/a>\u201d to see just how this works). <\/span><\/p>\n

So each new challenge you face triggers<\/strong> deep-rooted negative core beliefs<\/a> and old feelings of helplessness<\/a> and anxiety<\/a>. <\/span><\/p>\n

[Feel completely overwhelmed by your fear of failure? Visit our sister site harleytherapy.com<\/a> to book counselling easily and quickly, worldwide. Appointments are available online via online, by phone or in person.]<\/span><\/p>\n

How to Manage When Fear of Failure Hits<\/h2>\n

No wonder overcoming fear of failure can feel so hard. What can you do?<\/span><\/p>\n

1. Stop with the positivity.\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n
\"\"

By: Brian Fitzgerald<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n

Again, what you are really up against is core beliefs<\/a> hidden deep in your unconscious mind<\/a>. These tend to be along the lines of, \u2018you are no good\u2019, \u2018you will never be anything\u2019, and \u2018the world is dangerous place\u2019. Positive talk is like throwing a flower into a fire. <\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0Take a tip from <\/strong>CBT therapy<\/a>\u00a0when overcoming fear of failure. It has shown we can reprogram our brains by finding neutral<\/em> over positive thoughts.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Start by stating your fear, then finding the exact opposite of the fear.<\/strong> Find three facts that support each of these statements (to show your brain how it\u2019s all perspective<\/a> anyway) then find the neutral thought that lies in the middle. <\/span><\/p>\n

Confused? Read exactly how to do this<\/strong> in our article, “CBT and Balanced Thinking<\/a>“.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

2. Feel it out.\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n

Fear is a feeling. And one of the best ways to process feelings is to<\/strong>, well\u2026 feel them. So stop trying to distract yourself<\/a>, to think your way through things, or to drink<\/a> or eat<\/a> your way around them.\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

\"overcoming

By: Alex Bellink<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n

\n

In fact if you only have ten minutes to overcome your fear of failure, this might be the most useful tip of all.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Try using mindfulness<\/a> as a way of overcoming fear of failure. Find a<\/strong> quiet, private space, sit comfortably and breathe deeply. Relax your body. Remind yourself fear is just an emotion. When you are able to be still, allow your fear of failure to rise. <\/span><\/p>\n

\n

What does fear of failure feel like in your body? Is it hot, cold? A sensation? A colour? Where do you feel it most? When you focus on it, does it shift and change?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

See if you can sit with your fear for up to 10 minutes<\/strong>. If the feeling mutates and you find other emotions coming, just sit with them, too (you might want some tissues nearby – sadness<\/a> is a common one).<\/span><\/p>\n

[Not sure you ‘get’ what mindfulness really is? Read our free, easy Guide to Mindfulness<\/a><\/span>.]<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

3. Talk to the fear. <\/span><\/h3>\n

Sound strange? Possibly. But Gestalt therapy<\/a> suggests that talking to the different sides of ourselves leads to breakthroughs.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Try the Gestalt \u2018chair method\u2019. Make a list of<\/strong>\u00a0useful questions<\/a> you\u2019d like to ask your fear. This might look like, “What are you really about, fear? What do you want from me? How can I solve you?”\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Sit on a chair, and leave an empty one across from you.<\/strong>\u00a0Resolve to be open-minded and<\/strong> drop any idea that you know what is going to happen next. Then imagine that your fear is sitting on the other chair. Ask your question aloud, then sit into the other chair and role play. Try talking to yourself as the fear.<\/span><\/p>\n

Let whatever comes up come out your mouth, no matter how silly or strange it sounds and feels. Keep moving between the chairs, role playing, and asking your list of questions. <\/span><\/p>\n

4. Write to the root.\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n
\"Overcoming<\/a>

By: Smithsonian Institution<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n

The more you can process your emotions and related experiences, the greater your chance of overcoming your fear of failure. <\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Take some paper that is easy to rip and find a half hour or so to be by yourself. Promise yourself that after you<\/strong> write you will destroy the pages (this allows your unconscious mind<\/a> to be free). <\/span><\/p>\n

Then let yourself write out anything and everything<\/strong> about the experience triggering your fear of failure. Don\u2019t worry what it sounds like, or if it’s crazy, or mean, or legible. See it as letting your unconscious mind purge on the page.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Let any images or memories from the past flow out as well,\u00a0<\/strong>even if they feel disconnected. Write about people if you need to, saying anything, because nobody will see it – again, rip the pages up when you are done.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

5. Seek support.\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n

When we suffer from a fear of failure we often have other issues that rise up. These commonly include<\/strong> anxiety, depression,<\/a> and low self-esteem<\/a>. <\/span><\/p>\n

This is why fear of failure can leave us feeling so immobilised,<\/strong> or see us practising self sabotaging behaviours including overeating<\/a>, drinking too much alcohol<\/a>, and picking fights<\/a> with people we love.<\/span><\/p>\n

Because fear of failure so often comes hand-in-hand with other emotional and psychological challenges it can benefit from professional support.<\/strong> A counsellor or psychotherapist<\/a> will not only help you get to the root of your fear of failure, they will support you in trying out new tactics to overcome your fear of failure at a pace that feels comfortable.<\/p>\n

Would you like to work with a therapist who can help you overcome your fear of failure? We connect you with top talk therapists in central London<\/span><\/a> locations. For\u00a0affordable counselling worldwide<\/a><\/span>, visit our sister site\u00a0harleytherapy.com<\/a><\/span> to book online therapy.\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Want to know when we post our next article? Sign up to our blog. We’ve been voted one of the top 10 psychotherapy blogs by Feedspot<\/a> and regularly publish useful and engaging articles.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

\"AndreaAndrea M. Darcy<\/strong> is a health and wellbeing writer with a high IQ but also ADHD, so she knows a thing or too about feeling like a failure! These are her tried and tested tools. Connect with her at Instagram @am_darcy<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

by Andrea M. Darcy Overcoming fear of failure requires a lot more than a pep talk. Why? A true fear of failure is rarely present-based or even logic. Yes, you might have a big presentation to do, and yes, your fear of messing it up is real. But if fear of failure is something you […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":93892,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"yes","_lmt_disable":"no","footnotes":""},"categories":[21,298],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-93888","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-anxiety-and-stress","category-work-life","has_thumb"],"yoast_head":"\nOvercoming Fear of Failure - What To Do When It Next Hits - Harley Therapy\u2122 Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Overcoming fear of failure is not about positive thinking or a pep talk. 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