{"id":99699,"date":"2018-10-16T11:00:41","date_gmt":"2018-10-16T10:00:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/?p=99699"},"modified":"2022-11-29T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2022-11-29T12:00:00","slug":"mental-wellbeing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/mental-wellbeing.htm","title":{"rendered":"How to Sabotage Your Mental Wellbeing – Are You Guilty?"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"mental<\/a>

By: Giulia Forsythe<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n

The NHS identifies the main ingredients of mental wellbeing<\/a> as connection, staying active, always learning, giving to others, and being mindful<\/a>.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

How are you unknowingly sabotaging these steps?<\/em><\/p>\n

[Worried your mental wellbeing<\/a> is out of control? Need to talk? Book with one of our online therapists today<\/a>, get help as soon as tomorrow.]<\/span><\/p>\n

1. Being ‘friends’ with everybody.\u00a0<\/strong><\/span>\u00a0<\/em><\/h4>\n

We all know that unhealthy romantic relationships<\/a> are not good for us. But what about friendships?<\/p>\n

The key element of\u00a0connection<\/span>\u00a0means we need to be able to be our real selves with those around us, and to feel we are accepted.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\"mental

By: Jeremy Thompson<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n

So we need to have proper <\/a><\/b>friendships where we can actually relax and trust<\/a>.<\/p>\n

If you are not sure if you are or are not in good company, read<\/strong> our article on \u201cToxic Friendships<\/a>\u201d.<\/p>\n

2. Spending all your time trying to impress others.\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/h4>\n

How can anyone connect to us properly if we are so busy trying to impress them, we are never our real selves? <\/strong><\/p>\n

Our mental wellbeing immediately improves when we learn to be authentic<\/a>. We gain back all the energy we were wasting trying to be someone else.<\/p>\n

3. Just going along with things.\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/h4>\n

It can feel easy to just go along with what those around you are doing.<\/strong>\u00a0You convince yourself that actually, you love working at an insurance company despite your degree in museum studies, and yoga is important even if the classes feel endless to you.<\/p>\n

And then you slowly start staying home more, and watching more TV.<\/strong> You feel numb, but tell yourself you are just tired from work.<\/p>\n

We think we are just boring, or mildly depressed<\/span>,<\/a> or don’t like being active. But when we dare to figure out what we like, and do things despite what others around us think? Our energy returns. The mental wellbeing<\/a> ingredient of ‘staying active<\/span><\/a>‘ becomes easy.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

4. Going against your values.\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><\/h4>\n

Not actually sure what brings you joy?<\/p>\n

Too many of us lead our lives by the values of those around us – our family, our social groups.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"mental<\/a>

By: Les Chatfield<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n

Discovering your real personal values<\/a> means you suddenly know exactly what you do and don’t like.<\/p>\n

5. ‘Chillaxing’ a bit TOO much.\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/h4>\n

There is nothing wrong with a bit of television, or reading before bed.<\/p>\n

But if you are using certain habits to escape facing up to yourself, others, and life?<\/strong> You are actually avoiding learning, a crucial part of mental wellbeing<\/a>. <\/span><\/p>\n

We need to face up to things to learn, including our uncomfortable feelings and thoughts.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Look out for habits like\u00a0spending all your free time lost in<\/strong> romance and fantasy novels, watching hours of TV or films a day, and too many video games.<\/p>\n

6. Being a ‘yes’ person.<\/span><\/strong><\/h4>\n

Here’s the funny thing about never saying no<\/a> and never setting healthy boundaries. <\/a><\/p>\n

We think we are the ‘giving type<\/a><\/span>‘. But actually, we aren’t giving at all, but manipulating. We are helping in order to receive – to get\u00a0 approval, self-esteem<\/a><\/span>, a future payback.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The more we say no to things we don’t like, the more energy we have to take care of ourselves.<\/strong> The more we take care of ourselves<\/a>, the better we feel.<\/p>\n

And it’s when we feel good about who we are that we naturally start to help others, because we actually have <\/strong>the energy to spare.\u00a0So the wellbeing ingredient of ‘giving to others<\/a>‘ actually starts with giving to ourselves first.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

7. Control freaking about your future.\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/h4>\n

Yes, goals<\/a> and dreams are good for our mental health. They give us hope and keep us active.<\/p>\n

But being so caught up in a future we actually can’t control means we miss what is right in front of us. And if we are not in the present moment<\/a> <\/span>we tend to not to see our true needs, or notice what others around us are thinking and feeling<\/a>.<\/span> Our relationships<\/span><\/a> and self care<\/a> <\/span>suffer.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Find being present hard?<\/strong> Read our free ‘Guide to Mindfulness<\/a>‘. It’s proven to reduce stress<\/a> and increase general wellbeing.<\/p>\n

\u00a0What’s the easiest way back to mental wellbeing?\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n

Yes, nowadays self-help books<\/a> are plentiful, and there are many free tools for mental wellbeing<\/a> that really work.<\/p>\n

But they are all made easier if we have support.<\/p>\n

The support of a<\/strong> coach, counsellor<\/a>, or psychotherapist<\/a> can mean serious mental health issues are avoided. You might even discover that you had underestimated the level of wellbeing you were capable of.<\/p>\n

Harley therapy puts you in touch with some of London’s top counsellors and therapists. Not in London? Use our booking platform to find talk therapy near you<\/a><\/span>, or try Online therapy<\/a><\/span> no matter where you might live in the world.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\n

Have a question about how to protect your mental wellbeing<\/a>? Post in the comment box below.\u00a0<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The NHS identifies the main ingredients of mental wellbeing as connection, staying active, always learning, giving to others, and being mindful. How are you unknowingly sabotaging these steps? [Worried your mental wellbeing is out of control? Need to talk? Book with one of our online therapists today, get help as soon as tomorrow.] 1. Being […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":100221,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"yes","_lmt_disable":"no","footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-99699","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-anxiety-and-stress","has_thumb"],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Sabotage Your Mental Wellbeing - Are You Guilty? - Harley Therapy\u2122 Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Mental wellbeing helps us bounce back in life and even affects our physical health. 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Being…","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/99699","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/8"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=99699"}],"version-history":[{"count":22,"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/99699\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":140017,"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/99699\/revisions\/140017"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/100221"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=99699"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=99699"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=99699"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}