{"id":99874,"date":"2018-09-04T11:00:55","date_gmt":"2018-09-04T10:00:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/?p=99874"},"modified":"2023-03-14T05:03:37","modified_gmt":"2023-03-14T05:03:37","slug":"how-can-i-be-less-sensitive","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/how-can-i-be-less-sensitive.htm","title":{"rendered":"&#8220;How Can I Be Less Sensitive?&#8221; Techniques That Help"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"attachment_99877\" style=\"width: 410px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/4838674414_c13c01092f.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-99877\" class=\"wp-image-99877 size-medium\" src=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/4838674414_c13c01092f-400x266.jpg\" alt=\"less sensitivce\" width=\"400\" height=\"266\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/4838674414_c13c01092f-400x266.jpg 400w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/4838674414_c13c01092f.jpg 500w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/4838674414_c13c01092f-180x120.jpg 180w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-99877\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">By: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/aarontait\/4838674414\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noreferrer\" \">Aaron Tait<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"color: #333399;\">Andrea M. Darcy<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Constantly told you overreact? Do your emotions ruin relationships and opportunities? Leaving you wondering &#8216;how can I be less sensitive?&#8221;<\/p>\n<h2>Why am I so emotionally oversensitive?<\/h2>\n<p>Often wonder, &#8220;Why me? <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/why-am-i-so-oversensitive.htm\">Why am I so oversensitive?<\/a>&#8220;. Genetics can contribute. But even if we are born more <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/hsp-sensitive-person-pandemic.htm\">prone to be sensitive<\/a>, we&#8217;d need to live through environments that trigger it.<\/p>\n<p><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/what-is-childhood-trauma.htm\">Trauma<\/a> in particular causes emotional sensitivity.<\/strong>\u00a0It&#8217;s as if our brains want to protect us from further <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/what-is-psychological-trauma.htm\">trauma<\/a>, so <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/are-you-overreacting-how-to-tell.htm\">overreact<\/a> as a way to protect us. We can even end up with <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/personality-disorder-counselling-london.htm\">borderline personality disorder<\/a>, or a diagnosis of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/what-is-emotional-dsyregulation.htm\">emotional dysregulation<\/a>.<\/p>\n<h2>Techniques that don\u2019t work at all<\/h2>\n<p><strong>Often sensitive people come up with their own methods to be less sensitive.<\/strong> These include things like:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/what-is-social-anxiety-disorder.htm\"> avoiding social situations<\/a><\/li>\n<li>shutting out other people<\/li>\n<li>staying <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/unemployment-improving-self-esteem.htm\">unemployed<\/a><\/li>\n<li>developing a cold hard exterior<\/li>\n<li>pretending to be someone they are not.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<div id=\"attachment_99879\" style=\"width: 410px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/3100752553_aac6d7727f-1.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-99879\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-99879\" src=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/3100752553_aac6d7727f-1-400x300.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/3100752553_aac6d7727f-1-400x300.jpg 400w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/3100752553_aac6d7727f-1.jpg 500w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-99879\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">By: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/vanessao\/3100752553\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noreferrer\" \">Valeria P.<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n<p><strong>These techniques might work short-term, <\/strong>but at a high cost. You will find yourself <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/7-surprising-reasons-feeling-lonely.htm\">lonely<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/being-happy-why-is-it-so-hard.htm\">unhappy<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/nobody-understands-me.htm\">misunderstood<\/a>, or <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/who-am-i-identity-crisis.htm\">unable to remember who you really are<\/a>. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/quiz-stressed-or-depressed\">Depression<\/a> is usually the long-term result.<\/p>\n<h2>7 ways to be less sensitive<\/h2>\n<p><strong>So what sorts of techniques <\/strong>might you learn in therapy to control your emotions? That mean you can\u00a0be less sensitive?<\/p>\n<h3><span style=\"color: #993366;\">1. Mindfulness.<\/span><\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/myths-about-mindfulness.htm\">Daily mindfulness<\/a> is one of the best tools to pull you away from your reactive thoughts and into <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/present-moment-secret-better-mood.htm\">the present moment<\/a>. It leaves your mind calmer and clearer and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/meditation-and-the-brain.htm\">raises your self-esteem,<\/a> and it&#8217;s now a cornerstone of several types of therapy.<\/p>\n<p><strong>You can learn mindfulness now by reading our<\/strong> free &#8216;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/mindfulness-help-guide.htm\">Guide to Mindfulness<\/a>&#8216;.<\/p>\n<p>Note that <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/easy-ways-to-be-mindful.htm\">mindfulness takes time<\/a>, often several months or more, to really &#8216;get&#8217;, so stick it out. If you are struggling, consider using a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/5-mindfulness-apps.htm\">mindfulness app<\/a>.<\/p>\n<h3><span style=\"color: #993366;\">2. Brain training.<\/span><\/h3>\n<p>Our brain is a bit like a computer. It likes to repeat the same program unless told otherwise.<\/p>\n<p><strong>If you are sensitive, the pattern will tend to be, \u2018feel threatened, overreact or withdraw\u2019. You need to teach your brain new ways of responding.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/cognitive-behavioural-therapy-london.htm\">Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) <\/a>achieves this through \u2018thought charts\u2019. By spending several weeks recording stressful thoughts and working them through a specific process, your brain eventually starts to recognise where you are mistaking assumptions for facts.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"color: #666699;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/making-assumptions.htm\"><span style=\"color: #800080;\">Learning how to spot assumptions<\/span><\/a> is alone very powerful. When we stop thinking we know everything, and begin to realise we might be seeing things wrong, we start to be less sensitive.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<h3><span style=\"color: #993366;\">3. Displacement techniques.<\/span><\/h3>\n<div id=\"attachment_99880\" style=\"width: 410px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/5337494878_c18c43a793.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-99880\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-99880\" src=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/5337494878_c18c43a793-400x266.jpg\" alt=\"be less sensitive \" width=\"400\" height=\"266\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/5337494878_c18c43a793-400x266.jpg 400w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/5337494878_c18c43a793.jpg 500w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/5337494878_c18c43a793-180x120.jpg 180w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-99880\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">By: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/riebart\/5337494878\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noreferrer\" \">Michael Himbeault<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n<p><strong>The idea here is to notice when you are being <\/strong>emotionally triggered, and then using a predetermined tool of distraction to pull you away from your thoughts. Tactics that get you out of your head and into your body are best. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/dialectical-behaviour-therapy-london.htm\">Dialectical behavioural therapy<\/a> suggests things like holding ice, belly breathing, or physically taking a few steps backwards. Read more in our article &#8220;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/feeling-suicidal-or-like-self-harming-techniques-to-stop-distress.htm\">Techniques to Stop Distress<\/a>&#8220;.<\/p>\n<h3><span style=\"color: #993366;\">4. Perspective jumping.\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n<p><strong>When we see things from a narrow view of &#8216;me against the world&#8217; we tend to always be on alert and sensitive.<\/strong> A useful<a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/coaching-and-counselling.htm\"> life coaching technique<\/a> is to learn <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/what-is-perspective.htm\">how to switch perspective<\/a>. Think of a situation you recently experienced where you felt very sensitive. What would an alien watching from above think? Your eighty-year old future self? What would the Dalai Lama suggest you do in such a situation? It might feel silly, but it creates distance and surprising wisdom.<\/p>\n<h3><span style=\"color: #993366;\">5. Acceptance.<\/span><\/h3>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"color: #666699;\">The more we judge ourselves for being oversensitive, and fight against the situations we find ourselves in? The more we seem to overreact. But when we start to accept situations and ourselves, a strange thing happens. We relax a little. Suddenly we feel a bit less sensitive.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><strong>Try the \u2018worst case scenario\u2019 trick. When things seem overwhelming ask<\/strong>, &#8220;What is the very worst thing that can happen here? Can I accept and handle that?&#8221; If yes, you\u2019ll relax a little. If no, you can decide who to ask for help.<\/p>\n<p><strong>A good tool to help with self acceptance is\u00a0<\/strong> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/self-compassion.htm\">self-compassion<\/a>. When you find yourself judging or berating yourself, imagine you were instead talking to a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/how-to-find-friends.htm\">good friend<\/a>. How would you speak to and treat them? Offer yourself the same.<\/p>\n<h3><span style=\"color: #993366;\">6. Daily journalling.<\/span><\/h3>\n<div id=\"attachment_99881\" style=\"width: 410px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/7946581522_f7233274be.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-99881\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-99881\" src=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/7946581522_f7233274be-400x400.jpg\" alt=\"be less sensitive \" width=\"400\" height=\"400\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/7946581522_f7233274be-400x400.jpg 400w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/7946581522_f7233274be-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/7946581522_f7233274be.jpg 500w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/7946581522_f7233274be-200x200.jpg 200w, https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/7946581522_f7233274be-50x50.jpg 50w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-99881\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">By: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/waltstoneburner\/7946581522\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noreferrer\" \">Walt Stoneburner<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n<p><strong>We aren\u2019t talking about recording what happens to you. <\/strong>We are talking about &#8216;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/how-to-use-a-self-help-journal.htm\">journal therapy<\/a>&#8216;, where you take time every day to explode your feelings onto a page. It\u2019s a good idea to then rip up what you wrote, so that your <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/what-is-the-unconscious-mind.htm\">unconscious mind<\/a> feels safe to unload. The idea here is that your emotions release onto the page instead of onto others around you.<\/p>\n<p><em>The key word here is \u2018daily\u2019. Think of it like a pot of water on the stove. You need to keep lowering the heat or it will boil over.<\/em><\/p>\n<h3><span style=\"color: #993366;\">7. Self care.<\/span><\/h3>\n<p><strong>Emotionally sensitive people often suffer<\/strong>\u00a0from &#8216;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/sensory-overload-in-adults.htm\">sensorial overload<\/a>&#8216;, or are just physically more sensitive as well. Things like<a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/overcoming-problems-with-sleep.htm\"> poor sleep<\/a>\u00a0and too much sugar\u00a0 can mean you are even less in control of how you feel. Yes, perhaps your friends can go out <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/alcohol-and-depression.htm\">drinking all night<\/a> and be fine. But if you are left an emotional wreck the next day, is it worth trying to keep up?<\/p>\n<h2>When it&#8217;s time to seek support<\/h2>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"color: #800080;\">There are actually specific types of therapy designed to help you <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/what-is-resilience.htm\">be more resilient<\/a> and less oversensitive.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>These include <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/dialectical-behaviour-therapy-london.htm\">dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT)<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/schema-therapy-london.htm\">schema therapy<\/a>, and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/mentalisation-based-therapy.htm\">mentalisation-based therapy<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p><strong>If your sensitivity is connected to one exact trauma,<\/strong> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/emdr-therapy.htm\">eye movement desensitisation and reprogramming (EMDR)<\/a> is also a useful therapy to try.<\/p>\n<p><strong><span style=\"color: #800080;\">Harley Therapy connects you with<span style=\"color: #666699;\"> <a style=\"color: #666699;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/therapists.htm\">top London therapists<\/a> <\/span>in central locations. Not in London or the UK? Our <a href=\"https:\/\/harleytherapy.com\/?utm_source=Harley%20Therapy%20Blog&amp;utm_content=Post%20End\"><span style=\"color: #666699;\">new booking platform<\/span><\/a> means you can be <span style=\"color: #666699;\"><a style=\"color: #666699;\" href=\"https:\/\/harleytherapy.com\/therapists?location_type=skype&amp;utm_source=Harley%20Therapy%20Blog&amp;utm_content=Post%20End\">talking to a therapist over online<\/a><\/span> as soon as tomorrow.\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p><em><strong>Still have a question about how to be less sensitive? Ask in the comment section below.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #333399;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.amdarcy.com\/my-work\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\" wp-image-117271 alignleft\" src=\"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-content\/uploads\/headshot-yellow-397x400.png\" alt=\"Andrea M. Darcy\" width=\"99\" height=\"100\" \/>Andrea M. Darcy<\/a> is the lead writer and editor of this site. And she is highly sensitive herself, so knows these techniques help. She also knows it can be hard to find the right therapist as a sensitive person, and offers consultations to help you figure out the right therapy for you. Find her <a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/am_darcy\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">@am_darcy<\/a>\u00a0.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Andrea M. Darcy Constantly told you overreact? Do your emotions ruin relationships and opportunities? Leaving you wondering &#8216;how can I be less sensitive?&#8221; Why am I so emotionally oversensitive? Often wonder, &#8220;Why me? Why am I so oversensitive?&#8220;. Genetics can contribute. But even if we are born more prone to be sensitive, we&#8217;d need to [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":99879,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"yes","_lmt_disable":"no","footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[212,437],"class_list":["post-99874","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-anxiety-and-stress","tag-borderline-personality-disorder","tag-oversensitive","has_thumb"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v27.3 (Yoast SEO v27.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>&quot;How Can I Be Less Sensitive?&quot; Techniques That Help - Harley Therapy\u2122 Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Do you wish you were less sensitive? What tools do therapists offer to help sensitive clients? 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Darcy\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"6 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\\\/counselling\\\/how-can-i-be-less-sensitive.htm\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\\\/counselling\\\/how-can-i-be-less-sensitive.htm\",\"name\":\"\\\"How Can I Be Less Sensitive?\\\" Techniques That Help - Harley Therapy\u2122 Blog\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\\\/counselling\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\\\/counselling\\\/how-can-i-be-less-sensitive.htm#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\\\/counselling\\\/how-can-i-be-less-sensitive.htm#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\\\/counselling\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/3100752553_aac6d7727f-1.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2018-09-04T10:00:55+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2023-03-14T05:03:37+00:00\",\"description\":\"Do you wish you were less sensitive? 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Darcy","author_link":"#"},"uagb_comment_info":7,"uagb_excerpt":"Andrea M. Darcy Constantly told you overreact? Do your emotions ruin relationships and opportunities? Leaving you wondering &#8216;how can I be less sensitive?&#8221; Why am I so emotionally oversensitive? Often wonder, &#8220;Why me? Why am I so oversensitive?&#8220;. Genetics can contribute. 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