{"id":99949,"date":"2018-11-01T11:00:03","date_gmt":"2018-11-01T11:00:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/?p=99949"},"modified":"2023-03-13T16:04:14","modified_gmt":"2023-03-13T16:04:14","slug":"asperger-syndrome-case-study","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/asperger-syndrome-case-study.htm","title":{"rendered":"“My Life With Asperger Syndrome” – A Case Study"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"asperger<\/a>

By: Jesper Sehested<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n

There are so many articles about Asperger Syndrome. But what is it really like to live with?<\/strong><\/p>\n

In December 2016 Piers Tyson* was diagnosed with Asperger syndrome, now officially called autism spectrum disorder or ASD here in the UK. This is his story.<\/p>\n

*name changed for privacy<\/em><\/p>\n

Receiving the Diagnosis<\/h3>\n

When the psychologist<\/a> told me I had autism spectrum disorder level 1, corresponding to Asperger Syndrome, I actually felt liberated.<\/p>\n

Asperger Syndrome explains my \u201cotherness\u201d compared with those around me.<\/strong> And I was relieved because I didn\u2019t know what to do if it was something else.<\/p>\n

You see, I had asked my doctor for a referral to a psychologist after I had numerous lengthy conversations with my elder son, who himself received an Asperger\u2019s diagnosis. He and I are very alike, and as we talked I felt my own life\u2019s patterns, challenges<\/a>, experiences and feelings<\/a> falling into place.<\/p>\n

An Autistic Child at School<\/h3>\n

Throughout my life I\u2019ve felt that I\u2019m not quite the same as most other people. <\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

When I was very young I preferred reading and solo pursuits over group activities.<\/strong> Although I had a few friends<\/a>, I wasn\u2019t always comfortable with others my age.<\/p>\n

\"asperger

By: Nikita<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n

And at school I seemed to struggle<\/a> more than others, which was odd because I had no trouble understanding the science books I used to borrow from the library. I now think this was because I learn differently, but then I thought I wasn\u2019t as clever as everyone else.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I was also different because I was not as good at<\/strong> sports<\/a> like everyone else at my boarding school. These activities didn\u2019t interest me anyway.<\/p>\n

As time passed I was <\/strong>bullied<\/a> a little, making me feel\u00a0isolated<\/a> as well as anxious<\/a> and afraid.<\/p>\n

But after fifth-year exams I found a set of barbell weights and both enjoyed and was quite good at weightlifting. I think I enjoyed competing against myself. Later I became interested in karate, which deepened my absorption in focussing against myself.<\/strong><\/p>\n

When people who had previously pushed me around saw I could do things they couldn\u2019t, their attitudes changed. But I remained pretty much a loner and still <\/strong>didn\u2019t feel comfortable socially<\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n

The Challenge of Asperger’s in the Workplace<\/h3>\n

The challenges really started when I left school<\/a> and started work.<\/strong> I had no difficulty finding a job<\/a>, and the work<\/a> wasn\u2019t difficult. But I just couldn\u2019t get in gear to do it. People told me I was bright, but my performance exasperated managers<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Life felt like a guessing game whose rules I didn\u2019t understand. <\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Things first started to improve when<\/strong> computers<\/a> appeared on desks at the end of the 1980s. I found it satisfying to develop ways of automating things with greater speed and accuracy. Problem solving is more natural to me than struggling with existing processes.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve learned that to follow processes effectively, I need to understand them in detail. This is a problem when people expect you just to get on with it.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

After varied IT experience, I settled into information security, which feels like where I belong<\/strong>. Things aren\u2019t miraculously perfect, but there are less difficulties and most are more easily overcome.<\/p>\n

Having a social life when you have Asperger’s<\/h3>\n
\"aspergers<\/a>

By: Koze<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n

I\u2019m generally OK in small groups. But conversation with more than two or three people is hard because<\/strong> of too much information to process in real time.<\/p>\n

I can\u2019t always take in what somebody says, even though I listen<\/a> and hear all the words.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I also seem to be on a different wavelength<\/strong> \u2013 humour, reasoning, perception. Indeed, most communicating<\/a> and thinking processes.<\/p>\n

[Read more about what it’s like to socialise when you have Aspergers syndrome in our connected piece, “Characteristics of Aspergers”<\/a> ].<\/em><\/p>\n

Relationships With Asperger Syndrome<\/h3>\n

I didn\u2019t lack the teenage yearning to have a girlfriend, but I did lack the confidence. Feeling mostly like an outsider,<\/strong> and often being treated like one, the idea that any girl might be interested in having a close relationship with me just never entered my mind. I now wonder if my general inability to read social and other personal cues meant I simply didn\u2019t recognise the signs a girl was interested.<\/p>\n

Just before turning sixteen I finally got together with my first girlfriend<\/strong>. I guess it\u2019s not unusual that this first time is emotionally too intense<\/a>, and it certainly was for me. Not many weeks after, probably because I was too serious, she ended the relationship<\/a>. I think my inexperience, coupled with my emotional \u201cblack-and-whiteness<\/a>\u201d, made this inevitable.<\/strong><\/p>\n

For about the next fifteen years I went through a larger scale version of the same kind of pattern<\/a>
\nwith relationships.<\/p>\n

My simplistic outlook and emotional intensity just didn\u2019t seem to work with girlfriends. I would be completely absorbed and attuned to the expectation<\/a> that a relationship<\/a> would be permanent, and was hurt more as a result when it wasn’t. <\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Marriage and Parenthood with Aspergers Syndrome<\/h3>\n
\"living<\/a>

By: L.C. N\u00f8ttaasen<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n

I was almost thirty before I met the woman who would become my wife.<\/p>\n

This relationship was built on a great deal of<\/strong> mutual understanding<\/a> and trust<\/a>, though I was still decades away from learning about my Asperger syndrome.<\/p>\n

When our son was born, I knew instantly and completely what my real priorities were.<\/strong> I think this is something universal for all new parents<\/a>, but to me, it was like waking up to what really mattered.<\/p>\n

I believe my Asperger\u2019s personality and outlook focussed me as a parent, because despite still lacking confidence\u00a0I had no fear or hesitation about my responsibilities.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Asperger’s and Other Mental Health Issues<\/h3>\n

All my life, trying to understand and follow the rules and <\/strong>expectations<\/a> of society has caused me embarrassment, confusion, frustration and even mental health issues.<\/p>\n

Lacking the instinctive awareness of others leads to stumbling into situations without<\/strong> time to prepare yourself. Occasionally some of the people around you exploit this by manipulation<\/a> or bullying<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Although being pushed around by others isn’t unique to people with Asperger\u2019s, I think our blindness to the normal rules of society makes us more prone to these problems. I believe depression<\/a> is prevalent among us because of this.<\/span><\/p>\n

During my early thirties several of these problems converged and I became unable to function properly. My judgment<\/a> and reactions to other people were becoming erratic, and I was \u201cseizing up\u201d inside. This reached crisis point.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

After being diagnosed with<\/strong> anxiety and depression I was given full-time group psychotherapy<\/a> which helped me unravel my emotional mess. Several years later I received cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT)<\/a>, which was again very helpful by effectively training me to handle stressful situations better.<\/p>\n

The Biggest Myth About Asperger’s<\/h3>\n

There is still a general view that autistic people are <\/strong>unemotional and not empathetic<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Far from being unemotional, our<\/strong> black-and-whiteness<\/a> applies equally to our feelings, which tend to be polarised.<\/span><\/p>\n

It’s not at all that we have no empathy. Instead, I find my tendency to take things literally simply makes empathy an all-or-nothing experience. In fact mostly I empathise very strongly, sometimes to the point of feeling pain.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sharing My Asperger’s Diagnosis<\/h3>\n

I\u2019ve been generally open about my Asperger\u2019s diagnosis with people<\/strong> \u2013 family<\/a>, friends<\/a>, colleagues<\/a> and management \u2013 because it seems sensible for those around me to know the reasons for my odd ways. And since people seem to be genuinely interested, I feel encouraged to spread awareness about autism.<\/p>\n

In concluding this account of my experience as someone with Asperger syndrome, I emphasise that this case study is not comprehensive.<\/strong> First, I don\u2019t remember everything; and second, I believe I have much yet to discover.<\/p>\n

This is my personal story, and while my experience may resemble someone else\u2019s to some degree, everybody \u2013 autistic people included \u2013 is different.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I have been lucky that during my life I\u2019ve encountered numerous people who seemed to recognise some potential in me, and who have understood and accepted me for who I am. <\/strong>Not everybody is this fortunate, which is another reason why I feel it is important to speak up about autism.<\/p>\n

On a humorous note, when I received the written report of my diagnosis, I saw that my formal Asperger Score<\/a>\u00a0is 42 (out of 50). It took me a few minutes for the penny to drop \u2013 this is the answer to life, the universe and everything in The Hitchhiker\u2019s Guide to the Galaxy!<\/p>\n

Worried you might have Asperger’s? Harley Therapy connects you with top counselling psychologists in central London<\/a> locations. Not in London, or even the UK? Have a chat with an experienced counsellor over online using our booking platform.\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\n

Have a question about living with Aspergers, or want to share your own experience? Use the public comment box below.\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

There are so many articles about Asperger Syndrome. But what is it really like to live with? In December 2016 Piers Tyson* was diagnosed with Asperger syndrome, now officially called autism spectrum disorder or ASD here in the UK. This is his story. *name changed for privacy Receiving the Diagnosis When the psychologist told me […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":100359,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"yes","_lmt_disable":"no","footnotes":""},"categories":[399],"tags":[439,442],"class_list":["post-99949","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-adhd-and-autism","tag-aspergers","tag-autism","has_thumb"],"yoast_head":"\n"My Life With Asperger Syndrome" - A Case Study - Harley Therapy\u2122 Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Asperger syndrome, now called 'autism spectrum disorder' in the UK, is now a known condition. 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Darcy","author_link":"#"},"uagb_comment_info":7,"uagb_excerpt":"There are so many articles about Asperger Syndrome. But what is it really like to live with? In December 2016 Piers Tyson* was diagnosed with Asperger syndrome, now officially called autism spectrum disorder or ASD here in the UK. This is his story. *name changed for privacy Receiving the Diagnosis When the psychologist told me…","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/99949","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/8"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=99949"}],"version-history":[{"count":25,"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/99949\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":139436,"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/99949\/revisions\/139436"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/100359"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=99949"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=99949"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.harleytherapy.co.uk\/counselling\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=99949"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}