Bereavement Counselling: Do We Really Need To Grieve?

Reclaiming Grief in a Culture That Forgets

In our fast-paced culture, grief is often treated like an inconvenience. We’re encouraged to “move on,” “stay strong,” or “get back to normal”, as if loss were a hurdle rather than a rite of passage. Sorrow is pushed to the margins of our lives, hidden behind busy schedules and polite smiles. But grief, when unacknowledged or avoided, doesn’t go away. It waits.

Francis Weller, in The Wild Edge of Sorrow, reminds us that grief is not a sign of weakness – it is a sign of deep love. He writes, “Grief is not a feeling, but a capacity.” It is a vital human experience, one that connects us to others, to ourselves, and to the rhythms of life. Grieving fully and consciously can be an act of profound healing.

What Happens When We Don’t Grieve?

By: Cathy Baird

While there is no single “correct” way to mourn, there is a cost to denying our sorrow.

Suppressed grief doesn’t vanish, it can manifest as:

• Chronic anxiety
• Emotional numbness
• Depression
• Physical illness

Over time, unprocessed grief can seep into our relationships, our work, and our sense of meaning.

Weller speaks of “the five gates of grief” – losses that go far beyond the death of a loved one. These include the loss of parts of ourselves, the sorrows of the world, ancestral wounds, and things we never received.

Grief counselling can provide space to explore these less visible, but equally potent, sources of pain.

Making Time to Grieve

The idea that we’re “too busy to grieve” is common, and understandable.

Many of us are caregivers, professionals, or parents, and stepping away from responsibilities can feel impossible. But grief is not a distraction from life; it is part of life. Making time for grief is not indulgent – it’s essential.

Counselling offers a pause. A sacred space in which to speak, cry, remember, rage, reflect. You don’t need to have lost someone recently to benefit from bereavement counselling. Sometimes the loss was years ago. Sometimes the grief is anticipatory, as we care for someone with a terminal illness. And sometimes, it’s more ambiguous; a fractured relationship, a dream that didn’t come true, a version of ourselves we’ve had to let go.

The Healing Power of Being Witnessed

By: Alan Cleaver

Grief thrives in community. As Weller suggests, “Grief shared is grief endured.” Yet so many of us grieve alone. Speaking with a trained practitioner, someone who can sit with you in your sorrow without rushing you through it, can be profoundly grounding.

Therapy does not erase pain, but it can help us carry it with more compassion and understanding. Over time, we may find that grief softens into something else: love remembered, meaning rediscovered, resilience strengthened.

If you or someone you care about is struggling with grief, in any of its forms, you don’t have to do it alone. Our experienced practitioners at Harley Therapy are here to support you through this tender, complex process. Reach out to learn more about our bereavement counselling services.