Spending Christmas Alone This Year? How to Cope and Boost Your Mood

November 5, 2026

In short: Spending Christmas alone, or away from family, can bring up loneliness, grief and low mood. It often helps to be honest about how you feel, plan the day in advance, start a small new tradition, look after your wellbeing, and arrange some contact with others. If you need to talk to someone urgently, Samaritans is open 24 hours a day, including Christmas Day, on 116 123.

Whether you are spending Christmas alone by choice or not, it can bring up a lot. You might be living overseas and unable to get home, working over the holidays, recently separated or bereaved, or choosing time apart from a difficult family.

However you have arrived here, a Christmas without the people or traditions you are used to can feel lonely and unsettling.

These eight steps can help you look after yourself and make the season more manageable.

Lonely in a crowd, and why planning ahead helps

You don't have to be on your own to feel alone at Christmas.

Many people feel most isolated in the middle of the festive rush, or at family gatherings where someone important is missing. If you have lost a loved one, their absence can feel sharper at this time of year. Constant images on social media and in adverts of how Christmas "should" look can add to the pressure.

It is easy to let a hard season creep up on us and simply endure it. If you know Christmas tends to be difficult, try planning for it a few weeks ahead instead. Making a few changes before the low feelings arrive is often easier than trying to lift your mood once they have taken hold. The same idea can help with other difficult anniversaries.

Planning ahead doesn't mean you can't feel sad. There is room for quiet, remembering and grief. It simply means putting something supportive into the days that tend to feel emptiest. The steps below can help you decide what that might be.

How to handle spending Christmas alone

It doesn’t matter if we chose to spend the holidays alone as we can’t bear our dysfunctional family, or it isn’t a choice. If we are living overseas or without any family left. Christmas by ourselves is challenging either way. Here’s how to manage.

1. Be honest with yourself about how you feel

It can be tempting to tell ourselves we're fine. But when feelings of sadness, rejection or anger are pushed down, they often find another way out. We might snap at the people we care about, pull away from connection, or reach for an extra glass of wine.

For some people, the honest answer is relief, or even guilt at being happy to have Christmas to themselves. If that's you, give yourself permission to enjoy it.

Try this: Take a quiet moment, breathe deeply and ask yourself, "How do I really feel about this Christmas?" Notice what happens in your body, such as tightness in your chest or tension in your stomach. Afterwards, write in a journal about what came up. Our free guide to mindfulness can help you get started.

2. Let yourself miss people

It is a healthy response to feel upset when you can't be with the people you usually spend the holidays with. Allowing yourself to feel that sadness is part of moving through it.

At the same time, going over and over it can keep us stuck in rumination and lower our mood further. The aim is to make room for the feeling, then gently turn back towards the day.

Try this: Set a timer for five minutes and write down everything you feel about this Christmas, without censoring yourself. When the timer goes, close the notebook and do something kind for yourself. christmas alone By: Ricardo Camacho

3. Remember fondly, without comparing

Thinking about happy Christmases in the past can be comforting. Research on nostalgia suggests that reflecting on cherished memories can ease loneliness.

It becomes harder when we compare and decide this year falls short. Bringing attention to the present helps us notice what is going well: our health, the people who love us even from a distance, small pleasures in the day. A study of students facing a big life transition found that gratitude helped protect against stress and depression.

4. Choose a setting that suits you

Gestalt therapy reminds us that our surroundings affect how we feel. If you have always spent Christmas with loved ones in the home you are now alone in, it might not be the easiest place to be on the day.

What would feel better? A walk in nature, a busy café, a church service, or a trip somewhere Christmas isn't a big event? There's no right answer, only what works for you.

Try this: Close your eyes, breathe deeply and imagine your "ideal Christmas day", without worrying about whether it's realistic. Then ask yourself which parts of it you could make happen this year.

christmas alone By: Internet Archive Book Images

5. Start a new tradition

Rituals and traditions can support our mental health. A study on rituals found they helped people feel more in control during loss.

What new tradition could you create? It might be a Christmas morning walk, cooking a favourite meal, a film marathon, or joining family rituals over a video call. If you would rather not be alone, you could try volunteering or joining a community meal.

When we think about trying something new, our minds often fill with reasons not to: it will be awkward, I won't know anyone, it's easier to stay home. These are assumptions rather than facts.

Try this: Borrowing from CBT, draw three columns. In the first, write your worst fear about trying something new. In the second, write its opposite. In the third, write a balanced middle ground, such as "there will probably be one or two people I get on with, and I can call my family from there if I miss them."

6. Choose wellbeing over "cheer"

Christmas often comes with extra alcohol and overindulgence. These can feel good in the moment but tend to lower mood once the effect wears off, especially if you are already feeling low.

Loneliness can also stir up older feelings, sometimes from childhood, of being left out or overlooked. Being kind to yourself, and to your inner child, can help.

Try this: Write a list of at least ten things that leave you feeling good afterwards, such as a hot bath, baking, a long phone call or an old film. Pick a few to plan into your Christmas week.

7. Plan your support

Think about who you would like to hear from over the holidays, and who might leave you feeling worse. It's okay to protect your wellbeing by limiting contact with people who drain you.

christmas anxiety By: Pedro Ribeiro Simões

A "support buddy" can make a real difference. Is there someone else who might also find Christmas hard? You could agree when you will check in, and how, in a way that respects both your boundaries.

8. Reach out a little more than usual

When we feel low, it can feel easier to hide away. But connection is one of the most helpful things for our mood. The NHS lists "connect with other people" first in its five steps to mental wellbeing.

Try this: Create your own "twelve days of Christmas". Each day, reach out to one person, whether that's a message to an old friend, a chat with a neighbour or a reply in an online group you belong to.

You are not alone

When we feel left out at Christmas, it's easy to believe we are the only ones. In reality, many people spend the holidays alone or away from family each year.

If Christmas is affecting your mental health, the Mind website has helpful advice, and its online community, Side by Side, is a place to talk with others.

If you need someone to talk to urgently, you can call a helpline. Samaritans is open 24 hours a day, including Christmas Day, on 116 123. Calls are free.

When to seek support

If loneliness feels hard to manage, or time away from family brings up family issues you have long avoided, you don't have to work through it alone. Talking to a counsellor or psychotherapist offers a safe, non-judgemental space, in person or online.

Frequently asked questions

Is it normal to feel lonely at Christmas?

Yes. Many people feel lonelier at Christmas than at other times of year, whether they are on their own or surrounded by others. Images of how the season "should" look can make the gap between expectation and reality feel bigger.

How can I cope with spending Christmas alone?

Plan the day in advance rather than leaving it empty. Choose a setting that suits you, start a small new tradition, limit alcohol, and arrange at least one call or meet-up with someone you trust. Be honest with yourself about how you feel, and let yourself miss people.

How do I cope with Christmas after a bereavement?

The first Christmases after a loss can be especially painful. It can help to plan ahead, keep a small ritual to remember the person, and let others know you may find the day hard. Our bereavement counselling can offer support.

Who can I talk to on Christmas Day?

Samaritans is open 24 hours a day, every day of the year, including Christmas Day, on 116 123. Calls are free. If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 999.

Can therapy help with loneliness?

Yes. Talking to a counsellor or psychotherapist can help you understand what sits behind your loneliness, work through grief or family difficulties, and find ways to build connection.

Looking for support with loneliness? We connect you with some of London's most highly rated therapists, in central London or online. Outside London, or looking for an affordable option? Find a UK-wide therapist on harleytherapy.com.

Dr Sheri JacobsonAbout the author

Dr Sheri Jacobson is the founder and clinical director of Harley Therapy, which she set up in 2006. She is a retired BACP senior accredited therapist with a 16-year clinical career, and holds a PhD in Counselling and Psychotherapy from Regent's College, London, an MSc from UCL and an MA from Oxford. She has been featured in the Sunday Times and Metro.