Adult ADHD – Are You Suffering From It?
Dr. Sheri Jacobson
September 23, 2022
Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD/ADD) is an issue many assume is childhood related. We all hear about ADHD affecting kids and their teachers in classrooms across the globe.
But the truth is, ADHD can affect adults too. ADHD is not something we ‘grow out’ of before puberty. And just because you didn’t get diagnosed as a child doesn’t mean you didn’t have undetected ADHD and carry symptoms into adulthood. Many grown men and women suffer from signs of Adult ADHD without ever understanding what it is that is causing their life to feel so unfocussed.
As many as 4% of adults have ADHD, and many will have suffered from the disorder for decades without understanding why they behave and think the way they do. And yet adult ADHD remains a largely overlooked piece of the ADHD spectrum.
So What IS ADHD, anyway?
ADHD is a pattern of behavioural symptoms which are usually detected during childhood. Parents and teachers may notice that a child is unusually over-active, gets distracted all the time, cannot stick to doing something for any length of time, is impulsive, and does things on the spur of the moment without thinking. In general the symptoms of ADHD centre around difficulties in concentrating.
Note that ADHD is not related to intelligence and can occur in children of any intellectual capacity. It does, however, seem to come hand-in-hand with others disorders. Often people with ADHD have difficulties with learning in traditional ways and/or have sleep issues.
The symptoms of ADHD tend to be most recognisable during periods of change, such as starting a new school or moving house.
Due to a lack of research into adult ADHD it is more difficult to define. Simply applying childhood symptoms to adults doesn’t necessarily work. The signs of Adult ADHD tend to be far more subtle, with adults less likely to struggle with hyperactivity and more with inattentiveness and poor concentration. Add that symptoms are unique for each individual, and that Adult ADHD can exist alongside other problems such as depression, OCD, and personality disorders that might mask its presence, and diagnosis gets even tricker. But here are the common symptoms to be used as a guideline to determine if you are suffering from Adult ADHD.
Common Symptoms of Adult ADHD
Hyperactivity
Hyperactivity tends to be the symptom most associated with ADHD. But adults with ADHD are less likely to be overtly hyperactive than children. Instead, you might often feel agitated, have racing thoughts, crave excitement, talk excessively or have trouble sitting still. Note that hyperactivity is not always one of the signs of Adult ADHD either, or by any means a requirement. You might have several different symptoms from this list except for hyperactivity and yet still have ADHD.
Difficulty concentrating/ paying attention
You may ‘zone out’ during conversations with friends, have difficulty following conversations, or get easily distracted when undertaking an activity. People might constantly say things to you like, “Are you listening to me? Do you care what I’m talking about or not?” You may struggle to complete simple tasks and have a tendency to overlook things, meaning that errors are often made.
Hyperfocus
Hyperfocus is when you can become so engrossed in a task that you find stimulating that you become oblivious to everything else around you. Although this may at first seem like a positive, it can actually lead to problems in that you may neglect everything else around you. Or, you hyperfocus on the wrong thing.
For example, say that you are preparing a pitch document for a client and have two hours left to finish it but begin to hyperfocus on layout styles. Suddenly, you realise you have fifteen minutes left and don’t have time to add in relevant information and proofread, both of which are more important than the way the document looks on the page. Another example would be throwing a dinner party, and hyperfocusing so much on the way your food looks when the food does get to the table it’s cold, and then you realise later you totally forgot to serve an important side dish. Sound familiar?
Disorganization
Given all the symptoms listed above, life can certainly feel seem chaotic and out of control for those managing Adult ADHD. Keeping on top of the events and responsibilities around you can be extremely difficult. For example, you may be late for everything, procrastinate, and struggle to keep things tidy. You may never be able to find what you need when you are wanting to rush out the door, and always be searching for your keys.
Impulsivity
Those struggling with impulsivity will often find patience an extremely difficult thing. You may interrupt others, have issues displaying self-control, act inappropriately with others due to not thinking, have addictive tendencies, or find yourself in risky situations due to spontaneous thoughts.
Emotional Difficulties
Managing emotions can be a challenge for adults with ADHD. You may often feel easily stressed, have a short and explosive temper, and struggle with issues regarding your self-esteem and confidence. You may also find yourself suffering from irritability, frustration and mood swings.
Note that many adults with ADHD suffer relationship problems.
What Causes Adult ADHD?
By: Mike Mozart
As with most problems in life, ADHD seems to be caused by a variety of issues – some biological, some social. Specific genes have been identified and one-third of those with ADHD have at least one parent with similar symptoms. Complications for the mother during pregnancy and birth such as medications in pregnancy, low birth weight and the mother experiencing stress are also thought to be related.
Treatment of Adult ADHD
There are a number of treatments available for managing Adult ADHD. Your family doctor, psychiatrist or psychologist can explain some of the options available to you in more depth and develop a plan with you to suit your needs and circumstances. Here are some of the options they might suggest:
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT): CBT therapy has shown some success in helping adults with ADHD by reducing surrounding problems such as issues with low mood, low self-esteem, and anxiety. It can also help you hone your skills around organising, prioritising, and effectively socialising.
Medications: There are a number of medications available to aid symptoms of ADHD. They tend to be amphetamine-based and can have side effects like weight loss and occasionally psychosis. But these effects will be fully explained to you by your doctor. Harley Therapy’s Dr Stephen Humphries specialises in Adult ADHD and is available for consultations.
Self Help for Adult ADHD
There are lots of things you can begin to do by yourself that can help you regain control of ADHD symptoms. Here are some self-help tactics that are seen to be useful:
Lists, diaries, reminders – these are essential ways of helping you to organise your time and remember key things that need your attention.
Exercise, diet, sleep – As with all health-related problems, eating healthy, exercising and getting lots of rest can improve the way you feel. Exercise is also a great way to let off steam if you find yourself frustrated by your ADHD.
Avoid alcohol and drugs – Although it can be tempting to release tension and boredom by drinking or taking drugs, these substances can actually make you feel worse and increase signs of Adult ADHD.
Relaxation: Learning to relax via music, dance, yoga or by using simple meditation techniques can be a great way of releasing tension and slowing your busy mind. Relaxation can also help manage stress so you can deal better with challenging situations at work or at home.
Mindfulness: The technique of noticing the present moment and accepting thoughts and experiences without judgement called Mindfulness might sound ‘hippy’. But it has been embraced and proven by the psychological community as a seriously effective way to make better decisions, react less, and experience more joy on a daily basis.
Self-Help Groups: Meeting others who go through the same day-to-day troubles as you can be a relief, help you feel less alone, and see you learning new strategies for managing Adult ADHD.
Accepting Support: Discussing your problems with your workplace health team, teacher, etc. can often provide support and structure to help you do your best. Remember, people can’t help you if they don’t know what the problem is.
Conclusion
Adult ADHD left untreated and unsupported can play havoc with your life, and sometimes it can all feel too much. Being proactive and getting the support and help you need can help you feel better about yourself, your life, and your condition.
But don’t jump to conclusions if you feel you have signs of Adult ADHD- in some cases it is not ADHD and just a case of being bored with life and not focusing because of lack of interest in daily routine. It’s best to talk to a counsellor or psychotherapist if you feel you might be a match to Adult ADHD symptoms. But note the self-help techniques mentioned above will work wonders for anyone suffering distraction or hoping to feel healthier and more motivated by life, so feel free to give them a go!
Has this article struck a chord? Would you like to share about your personal experience with Adult ADHD, or ask a question? Feel free to use the comment box below, we love hearing from you.
I find myself regularly getting into bother at work with my manager as I find myself procratinating, and not being able to focus on my job. I think he believes I am generally not interested but I love where I work and the people I work with… And I can feel my job slipping from me… Jobs I’ve had in the past have ended badly due to the same reasons I’m struggling with this job… I lack concentration and focus, I get agitated very quickly if something doesn’t go right and the smallest things draw me away from my main task. It really is putting my life down so much! It isn’t just at work though, I can’t concentrate at home either, I still live at home with my parents however my fiancée pretty much lives here too and we’re saving for our own place, but when I get home from work instead of doing tasks that I know need doing, I’ll sit on the Xbox or something instead and I can’t seem to bring myself to do the menial task around the house, I think my fiancée is understanding to a point but I’m scared this will affect our relationship as well… I have a complete inability to be able to talk to people on the phone i.e the bank, phone provider, as I can’t follow what they are telling me and I regularly have to get my fiancée to help me and I also talk well too much. I don’t realise I do it till someone points it out, usually by tellin me to stop talking or taking the piss out of me or something and that’s another thing that gets me down! I just don’t want to carry on feeling like this and I need to get help but I’m too scared that if people find out they’ll think I’m stupid or something along those lines. I am good at my job and generally smart, but with all this I just feel stupid and like a child…
There is nothing stupid about seeking support. It’s a very smart and brave thing to do. And what is more important – what other people think, or feeling better about yourself and your life? It does sound like you could have ADHD, so it’s worth looking into.
I started taking two classes in January 2017, these are towards getting a basic grade 12 diploma. I’m struggling badly with staying focused on the work, and the classes are done in June. In mid May I have a camp job I’m going to in a remote place. My parents are pressuring me to do the work and its only making it worse. Their pressure completely turns me off from doing this. I sit at my desk, staring at the work, and I just can’t do it.
I was badly bullied all my youth, and was diagnosed with ADHD, I took ritalin for a long time. It made me zombie like, emotionless. I never finished grade 12. And now at 31 I’m losing hope I’ll ever be able to finish any curriculum courses. I’m capable of doing the work, it’s just the doing part which is something I’m struggling with once again. I have no friends, don’t seek them, don’t want them. Because my social skills aren’t refined and I get uncomfortable if people get too close to me. But school is essential if I ever want to work better paying jobs. Problem is I can’t sit and focus for the life of me, my mind wanders, I get distracted, and would rather spend my time on the internet.
I’ve been drinking allot lately too, my depression is coming back. I have no outlet to talk to someone at the moment, all the counsellors and my nurse practitioner have done all they can yet I still feel like something is wrong in me.
Maybe I’m just broken, all that damage from my youth has made me damaged goods. I feel alone constantly, wish I could have friends and be normal but I can’t do it. Somethings wrong with me mentally, fear is a factor probably, I feel nothing but fear. I need help but I don’t know who I should to. I am certain though ADHD is playing a big factor into this again, because some of the symptoms are manifesting big time again.
Maybe I should just accept I’m doomed, come to terms with it? I don’t feel suicidal just hopeless, emotionally crippled.
It’s an awful feeling to feel alone and misunderstood and with nobody to turn to. Possibly the worst feeling of all. And yet you seem to understand yourself so well, and to have a really intelligent perspective on what you’ve been through, all of which are rare gifts. Is it possible you have not yet had the opportunity in life to be independent, make choices for yourself, and figure out what you yourself want instead of what your parents want for you? The trapped feeling that comes from never being able to be yourself can alone cause all the numbness and lack of interest that you speak of. Is there one hobby you can make time for each week that is for you alone, that you chose for yourself? As for counsellors having done ‘all they can’, it doesn’t sound like you have met a counsellor who was a good fit. Are these counsellors chosen for you by your parents? Did you have a say in whether you liked them or not? Were they people you could trust and truly relax around? Or did you feel monitored all the time? As there is no way, if you feel this awful still, counsellors have ‘done all they can’. In summary it does sound that you are leading a stifled life you can’t move forward in at the moment. Of course if you have no money or work right now there might feel there are no options. One possible thing to consider is learning mindfulness. This entails learning how to listen to yourself, and even if you are not able to journey somewhere physically in life right now, you can journey within, which can be surprisingly liberating and empowering. It’s also been proven by research to help with attention difficulties. We have a free easy to understand guide to it all https://www.harleytherapy.co.uk/mindfulness-help-guide.htm.
This does sound like me a lot. I have every single one of those symptoms. But I guess that’s not proof I have ADHD. I guess I better talk with my doctor. I thought I just forgot to do my housework but apparently I’m actually just hyper focusing on my computer too much.
It’s definitely worth looking into. Of course most of us would prefer the computer to the housework though!
I’m finding life hard. Impulsivity is a massive issue in my life. Last year I randomly decided to undertake a degree. The learning support unit tested me for dyslexia, which was confirmed along with attention defiency and visual discomfort. They gave me 25% extra time for exams and that’s about it. I can NOT concentrate for longer then 10 minutes which is severely impacting on my learning. I’m distracted by anything, thoughts, noises, smells, light, anything. I’m considering giving up my degree because I’m so overwhelmed that I can not control this feeling.
I fear my restlessness is going to cost me my relationship. My boyfriend is very tolerant but excessive movement and restlessness will get irritating for him one day and I do not want to lose him. I’ve tried to learn to relax but nothing is working. I walk miles, eat well, not real alcohol use. I have a very short fuse, regularly shouting at things for not moving quick enough. I do not queue for anything choosing to leave places rather then wait. I don’t know what to do to control this. I feel things will spiral out of control.
Hi Ashleigh, have you had any real support for your ADHD? The frustration it causes can be hard to deal with. And it an indeed sabotage relationships. But it is best to get a proper diagnosis with an ADHD specialist psychiatrist, a school counsellor can’t properly diagnose ADHD. Other things can cause the same symptoms, such as childhood trauma. When you do get an official diagnosis, you can then find an ADHD therapist who can help with life management.
I am 73 years of old now and feel that after reading your articles feel that it possible i have been suffering with ADHD all of my life.
The symptoms for this illness seem to be be what i have experienced for a lifetime.
Anxiety depression and being impulsive are still with me and the inability to comprehend things,plus racing of the mind,mood swings,the inability to concentrate for even short periods of time,have plus mood swings have always been with me.
My 20 year old son presently suffers from ADHD,Op positional defiant disorder,an Auditory processing disorder,and i am wondering if he has inherited this condition from myself.Michael did suffer from a linear fracture of the skull and it was always thought this had something to do with it.Now after researching his condition i am starting to recognize that indeed i have some of the conditions he has.(Not as severe) Do you think he possibily inherited this condition from myself?
He remains untreated as he refuses to cooperate.
I read that Antidepressant medicine may help him.He has been diagnosed with depression.
Should i keep on down the path of insisting that he takes medication and gets the help of a councillor.
He had a promising career as an apprentice jockey,but bad decisions are constantly getting him into trouble with his peers and i can see that shortly his relationship with his girlfriend going down the drain.
He seems to have trouble communicating with his peers,and this is making it very hard to carry on successfully with his career.
I am just about at a loss what to do.
Any suggestions?
Cheers ,
John
Hi John, thanks so much for sharing all this. In some cases there is a genetic connection with ADHD, yes. The symptoms can shift and change with age, so that we, say, become less hyperactive but manifest distraction in different ways that can be just as damaging to our daily lives. But you’d need to go speak to a professional ADHD psychiatrist for a diagnosis, we simply can’t give one over the internet as it’s a very careful process. It must be terribly hard on you to have to watch your son struggle. And it’s very touching how much you care for him and want the best for him, obviously you want to be the best Dad possible. Unfortunately, counselling is only of any benefit if the person wants to be there, and as over 18 year-old adult he’d have to make such choices for himself, especially if it came to taking medication. Might it be inspiring for him if you saw a counsellor yourself, or went and saw about an ADHD diagnosis? Sometimes the best way we can affect others to practice better self-care is to set the example. Sorry if that’s not what you wanted to hear, and we do empathise with how difficult it is to watch the ones we love make tough choices for themselves. But we do hope this all helps.
My name is Charlie Strack (Charlotte), and I am 29 years old. I may be young(ish) but I have had more careers and occupations than all of my friends put together. It was actually a few nudges from them that inspired me to research ADHD a bit more in the first place. I have sudden, passionate obsessions that consume absolutely every second of my time and every ounce of energy, and I go hell-for-leather to achieve my goals, literally no-half-measures – and then in 6 months or so I will lose interest and grow bored, and move onto the next “amazing” thing. For years and years and years this has been bugging me, and I’ve been teased relentlessly by both family and friends about my inability to stick at anything and remain constant for 5 minutes. I achieved a first class honours degree in Music Technology by sheer force of will alone – when I enrolled, it was an obsession, and I was enthusiastic and committed – but I literally had to force myself to see the whole thing through, and now I can barely remember anything that I learnt during that time! Since then I have also trained to be a nurse, I have worked as a nursery assistant, I have worked as a barista in various cafes, I have worked as a seamstress, I have trained to be a software developer and now I am working as a programmer for a DevOps company. Computer coding has so far been one of the only things that occupies my brain properly, or so it would seem… at least, it seems to make me inclined to focus a bit more. Saying that though, most days I will be writing software code, and listening to scientific podcasts at the same time, and somehow manage to do both coherently. But if anything disturbs me, anything at all – someone coughing, sneezing, the air con being too loud, someone crashing around in the staff kitchen, and I lose my concentration. I can barely sit still as it is, and many of my colleagues get irritated at my constant bobbing and adjusting.
Recently I have discovered knitting… because apparently watching videos on youtube, playing games on my phone, talking to my cat, and drinking coffee are not enough to occupy my mind all at once. I need to occupy my hands too, otherwise I bite my nails down to the cuticle and make them sore. The other day I knitted for 9 hours straight with no break. Literally vaporised a precious day off! I can happily step over piles of laundry and washing up that needs doing to go and do something “pressing” and “urgent” (like said knitting, or computer gaming, or scrolling through my phone, which are neither productive or urgent). I know that I am doing it, and yet I can’t stop, and I can’t convince myself to do what I’m SUPPOSED to be doing… like chores, or work assignments, or going to the gym, cooking, general life stuff.
My friends and family also tease me about the way I look… they say it changes every time they see me, because I like to change my hairstyle, but what they don’t realise is that it is almost a compulsion. It’s not vanity, or even creativity. It makes me on edge if anything remains constant for too long. The only thing that has managed to stop this mania is getting dreadlocks. Apparently I’m less anxiety-ridden about my hair when it is knotted away. I guess there isn’t much that I CAN do with it when it is tied up like that.
For years I have been passed from one medical professional to another, labelled as anxious, depressed, with PTSD, and given loads of medications to take before being dismissed and discharged – but the older I get, the longer I have been living with all of this, the more I feel that it isn’t quite right. That it goes beyond the labels of “fickle” and “easily bored” and “impulsive” and “lazy”. As a child, I was always shy, quiet, and withdrawn with a tendency to daydream most of my school reports sung praises about my general intelligence, but those comments were usually followed by “…if only she would just apply herself” or “…she just needs to knuckle down and focus”.
I have booked an appointment to see my GP next week, to try and convince him to refer me, because this is really bugging me now. I’m sorry for the long post, I just wanted to share in case there’s anyone else out there facing something similar.
Hi Charlie, thank you for sharing all this and taking the time! Remember, beyond any ‘diagnosis’, you you are YOU. All mental health diagnosis are just labels made up by groups of mental health workers to better discuss groups of people, not things we can see under the microscope. And we’d say that you have done amazing things for someone so young. Yet somehow you are focussing on what is ‘wrong’ with you. Don’t forget to focus on what is right with you, too…. best of luck.
I feel like Mick Jager or FDR all the time; what do I do? Why Mick Jager or FDR? Because Mick Jager is singing only one song- “I Can’t No Satisfaction” and FDR really stands for Frustrated, Driven and Restless. What do I do?.
Hi Rob, well our answer would be seek support. Not because we are a therapy company, but because it helps. We aren’t saying anyone has to take drugs, we are saying having someone who understands the way your brain works and can help you use your resources more effectively instead of being driven only by bad habits can be a lifesaver. ADHD coaching and therapy serves that purpose. Best, HT
Since 2014, I have had some ic my line managers ask if I am dyslexic. It became apparent gradually when u progressed from voluntary sector hands on jobs towards statutory jobs that required indepth reports and then I became aware if various managers not being happy with my work.
In particular I find putting my verbal thoughts on paper a struggle.
One manger 18 months ago said to me that I say more than when I write.
I also note from reading your material above. I do identify with sleep problems. My GP is supposed to be making another referral. I also identify with issues around disorganisation and concentration. My up and down concentration levels I gave become more aware if in the last 2 years
I would like to know whst mt options are. I am currently on universal credit due to the coronavirus pandemic.
Hi there Merlyn, it can be really difficult if a learning difference holds us back from our potential. We notice you have commented on a post about ADHD, when you might find yourself more of a fit for learning differences https://www.harleytherapy.co.uk/counselling/types-of-learning-difficulties.htm, although you can of course have both or several issues working together. You can talk to your GP about a referral to be tested for learning differences and ADHD under the NHS. although unfortunately not all GPs are great believers in ADHD here in the UK, although that is slowly changing (we understand from the above you have a referral for sleep issues pending? But you’d need to ask for learning difficulty and/or ADHD testing and support). Be insistent, perhaps if you have any work reports from managers take them with you. Perhaps lead with the learning differences angle if they don’t seem open to ADHD, and point out that it’s really affecting your self esteem and ability to cope and you really can’t go on like this. If it gets nowhere, try calling your local chapter of the MIND charity and ask if they have any ideas on how you could get testing and support. Unfortunately while there is free to low cost counselling to be found in the UK, testing for learning differences and ADHD is a speciality service so tends to be expensive privately. Best, HT.
HI,I’m marjan and I was born in Tehran!I do not know correctly English but I’m trying to write…so sorry.
I can not do anything as well as normal people.
I usually distract and I am really anxious because I want to pass my IELTS exam in feature.
When I went to visit my doctor for other problem,he said me’you have ADHD’
After that,I thought all the time about when I was a child and my past.I found a lot of reasons for ADHD and I shocked!
Nobody realized me,while they tell me negative sentences all the time…
For example:you are absentminded and you get angry more quickly than others!
I think my parents are blamable.
Hi Marjan, we understand that you can feel angry that nobody recognised you might have ADHD. But unless your parents knew about ADHD already, they simply wouldn’t have been able to understand the signs. We hope that the doctor gave you a full proper diagnosis as usually it must be a psychiatrist who does the diagnosis. There are many other psychological problems with similar symptoms to ADHD and no doctor should jump to conclusions you would need a full proper assessment. Best, HT.
thanks for info
My friend (45, male), says he has ADHD and has since childhood. He takes high doses of ADHD medication. He says he also suffers from depression and stays in bed for a whole day or even two. He smokes a lot of marijuana and says it helps. I think his forgetfulness and unreliability is more due to cannabis use then ADHD. He has been married for 25 years and has a grown daughter. Good relationships with both it seems.
He frequently “ghosts” me in text conversations. He has stood me up a few times or been so late whatever we were going to do becomes impossible.
It is said that people with this disorder an concentrate and do what they like doing, so I sometimes think that when he ghosts me it’s because I bore him or for some reason he does not want to spend time with me that day. He can follow up on things he’s interested in, return phone calls of people he likes, respects or can help him in some way, but he can’t seem to get it together to make plans and execute them. He has done this to other people so it’s not just me. He also lies a lot which he denies but I have caught him in so many of them. He claims to have low self esteem and social anxiety, yet when I’ve been with him in public he dominates conversations and he “shows off”. When he does this I am disgusted because I know he’s projecting a certain image that he wants importantt people to believe is the real thing. I don’t know whether to believe what he tells me and I don’t know if he really has ADHD or he’s just a narcissist!