Fear of Losing Loved Ones – Can’t Stop Worrying?

By: Shareheads
Is a fear of losing loved ones always on your mind? Are you worried about losing a parent, or a a partner dying?
Is a fear of losing loved ones normal?
Yes, it’s normal to not want the people we love to die. We enjoy their company, and know life would be very different without them.
We also don’t talk enough about death in modern culture. So there can be a certain amount of fear simply because we don’t fully know what we would be dealing with.
Freud coined a fear of death and dying ‘thanatophobia‘, and felt we all suffer from it because we refuse to accept our mortality. Modern psychologists call this common fear plain old ‘death anxiety’.
A healthy or unhealthy fear?
A normal fear of loss involves worry and sadness when we think about our loved ones moving on, followed by an understanding it’s an unavoidable fact of life. It can mean a moment spent considering our own mortality. But in general, we realise we would cope.
An unhealthy fear of losing loved ones is more like a rising anxiety, and comes with extreme thinking. We feel our life would be over without the other person.
The more we think about losing the loved person in question, the worse we feel. Anxiety symptoms kick in, which can include:
- increasingly illogical thoughts
- a growing and pervasive feeling of fear
- physical symptoms like sweatiness, beating heart, stomach upset, muscle tension
- changes to sleep and eating patterns
- possible panic attacks.
What is the fear beneath the fear?
Loss of a loved one an easy thing to place all our worries on because it is an acceptable anxiety.
So sometimes we use a fear of losing loved ones to hide other fears we are more ashamed of, like fear of:
- being alone
- having to do everything by yourself
- not knowing how to cope
- having no identity of your own.
Why is it so important to admit to these ‘fears beneath the fear’? They are actually easier to deal with.
We can’t stop other people around us from one day dying. But we can find support to learn new ways of being, and take steps forward so that we no longer feel overwhelmed at the idea of being responsible for navigating our own life.
Fear of losing loved ones and codependency
- Are you a teenager who is afraid of your mother dying?
- Or who is too paranoid to move out or go to university in case your single parent ‘dies’ without you?
- In a romantic relationship and experiencing panic attacks at the thought of your partner not being around?
Fear of losing loved ones can hide a problem with codependency. Codependency involves taking your sense of self and worth from another person, instead of developing it within.
If you are in a codependent relationship you will feel it is your responsibility to constantly make the other person happy, and that you don’t know who you are without them.
Despite telling yourself that you just ‘really love’ the other person, codependency is not a healthy way of relating. It leaves you unable to see all your inner resources and personal power.
Allowing yourself to move out and become independent can make a real difference. But codependency can also be a very powerful pattern, and you might need to reach out for some professional support to understand your feelings and learn to raise your self-esteem.
How can I stop worrying about losing a loved one?

By: Travis Wise
Trying to totally stop anxiety or worries tends to backfire, and we end up thinking about the topic more than ever.
So the first step can be acceptance. Accept that you are experiencing anxiety around losing a loved one. Then try the following:
1. Make a list of all your concerns.
Anxiety is powerful because it feels out of control, sending our thoughts on endless spirals. But if we take the time to sit and write out on paper what is behind the anxiety? Our life can be less out of control than we think.
What are the very worse things that would happen if you lost your loved one? That you wouldn’t have a place to live, or anyone to talk to? What are possible solutions to each problem?
2. Identify what you’ve already lost.
You might be more resilient than you realise. Loss is a part of life and you’ve likely already successfully navigated some, and come through the other side.
Write out things you really valued that you lost, whether that was a childhood friend moving away, or having to graduate from a school you liked being at. See if you can remember what you did to navigate that loss and bounce back.
3. Practise mindfulness.
Mindfulness is a technique to help you stay in the present moment, instead of being lost to worries about a future you can control and a past you can’t change. We can become more grateful for what is right in front of us.
Read our easy how-to ‘Guide to Mindfulness‘ and start practising as soon as today.
4. Learn about death and dying.
Major cities now have what are known as ‘death cafes’. These are gatherings for people to come and discuss their fears of death and dying with a ‘death doula’, someone who understands the process. Even simple things like learning how a funeral is arranged and how the grieving process works can demystify the process we all at some point face.
Visit a ‘death cafe’, read about other people’s experiences, or ask people you know who have gone through a bereavement to share their story.
5. Talk about your fear with supportive others.
You might want to share you anxiety with your loved one themselves. If this seems a bad idea, try a trusted friend or family member.
Feel nobody would understand your anxiety about losing a loved one? Then speak to a counsellor. Your school might have free or low cost counselling if you are a student, or your workplace might provide several free sessions. If you are over 18, you can book counselling privately, with therapists now available for every budget.
Need proper help with your out-of-control fear of losing a loved one? We connect you with London’s top talk therapists. Or use our booking site to find UK-wide registered therapists and online counsellors you can talk to from anywhere.
Still have a question about your fear of losing loved ones? Want to share your experience with other readers? Post below. Please note comments are moderated to protect our readers, and we do not allow aggressive or inflammatory content.

I am an average teenager. I think I may have anxiety and depression but I can’t tell my parents because well… they’re African and don’t believe in such a condition.
Just yesterday, I found out that one of my seniors had died in a car accident. I tried to accept it. I spoke to my friends and they said wise words to me and I tried to remind myself that death is inevitable but I just don’t know …my heart won’t take it. I tried to sleep yesterday but I kept feeling this numbness and coldness in my feet, my heart was beating really fast and I just couldn’t sleep. The same thing happened when Juice Wrld had died. I didn’t know him or anything. I wasn’t really a fan but it still hit me hard…
This senior as well was not really my friend. I didn’t know her so well but the pain is still there…she was just 16…
I think I need help but I can’t tell my parents as I said earlier. Everytime I talk about problems like this they either tell me to sleep or drink water…
I don’t have any money either..
But please help me. I have an exam coming up and I just don’t want these feelings to get in the way of my studies.
Please help.
This sort of anxiety about death and dying is really quite common in teenagers. First of all, your brain is growing and flooded with hormones, meaning many teenagers have mood issues. Then it’s the time of life when you are starting to think about a future where you have to be in control of your own destiny and away from your parents and finding your identity. And death can become an interest or obsession because there is a sense of going out into the world, of not being able to always rely on everything and everyone to be there or stay the same. As the article suggests, it can be helpful to do research about death. Approach it like any other research, as if you were writing an essay. If you have a friend who is interested, or who is also upset about the student who passed away, see if talking about death and dying helps. If your school is offering any sort of grief support, do take them up on the offer.In summary, you are a sensitive person who cares about others. It’s normal to be upset if someone you respected dies. The thing is to just feel the emotions instead of resisting and judging yourself. As then you just end up with anxiety about anxiety itself. Best, HT
I’m an 15 year old boy. And i’m scared of loosing my family cuz they’ve always been there when i’ve been sad. especially my grandpa, he has always been my best friend and i can’t think of an life without him or any other in my family. HOW can i stop thinking about loosing them.
I am 24.I think was a bit immature to take decisions about my career in my school and college life. I had family issues too. I lost my dad when I was one. And I lost 2-3 people who I loved the most, because they used to care about me. Now, I feel like, no one can understand me and nobody listens to me whenever I try to talk about my fears. I can’t sleep at night even if I’m tired. I don’t understand what I’m gonna do in my life. Everytime when I feel negative, I meditate, even I do workout, but I can’t focus on my career. I’m feeling so worried and tensed.
Please help.
Thank you.
Hi Vinne, it’s actually really normal to start worrying about losing loved ones as a teenager. It’s the point in life where you realise that soon you have to be an adult, taking care of yourself, and you start to realise life can be challenging and not everything lasts forever. So first of all, it’s okay to have these worries. Then focus on enjoying time with your family when you are with them then developing your resources as a person, learning how to take care of yourself and becoming independent. Otherwise you might find learning mindfulness helps http://bit.ly/mindfulnessallabout as well as gratitude practice, training your mind to not obsess on just the bad but also recognise what is going right in life http://bit.ly/gratitudepractise. Best, HT
Hi Nidhi, we do feel the way that young people are forced to make huge decisions about their future is quite backwards. When we are 18-20 we really don’t know ourselves well at all. But because of that, to be totally unsure about your career and future at aged 24 is actually normal. You’d be amazed how many people feel this way. And you might be trapped in black and white thinking. This is where everything is an either/or. Life actually isn’t that. You are always free to change your mind and find other options. Many people these days change career several times, it’s normal. But this aside, it sounds like have generalised anxiety. Which means that logic won’t help as your mind is stuck in loops of cognitive distortions. We’d highly recommend CBT therapy, a short form of therapy that doesn’t delve heavily into the past but helps you get control of your thoughts so they stop you constantly spiralling into low moods. Best, HT.
Hi there,
I just wanted to say thank you. This article, as well as a couple others, has been very eye-opening for me. ‘The fear beneath the fear’… I would never have realized that on my own.
However, I can now take the steps needed.
Thanks again. You’ve made a huge difference in my life!
Wonderful to hear. It makes it all worthwhile to know that it helps others. Andrea (the editor and lead writer who wrote this piece).
I started feeling anxious in my mid twenties. It has now developed into a debilitating struggle. My mother has never been a healthy woman and I agonize almost every free moment I have to myself. I have to keep busy or I can’t take it. I get extreme overwhelming nostalgia to the point I literally cannot tear myself away from myself, if that makes sense. My wife knows a little of what I go through depression wise but I can never put into words how I am feeling. I have seen a couple different therapists who tell death is a natural thing. Yeah I know. Everybody dies. It’s the overwhelming disassociation i get when I think about it. I can’t stop. I’m scared
Hi Michael. Is that all the therapists said? We are curious. As we’d imagine a good therapist would instead focus on the fear, where it comes from, and on helping you go into the fear and explore it instead of away from it. You say you have seen ‘a couple different therapists’. That is of interest to us. How long did you stay with each one? Is there any chance your anxiety is sabotaging any deep work and having you jump about from therapist to therapist (which tends to not produce results). As we sense an intimacy issue. You don’t, for example, even feel understood or able to fully communicate with your own wife. This sort of issue leads to not giving any therapist a proper chance. On the other hand they might have been the wrong therapist. We don’t, in any case, think this is about death. It’s just that you have strong anxiety and it is fixating on death. It is more likely this your anxiety stems from elsewhere, a guess could be the relationship and attachment with your mother and then difficult childhood experiences. In any case. It might be worth it to look into CBT therapy, which doesn’t look at your past at all but is a short term therapy to help stablise your thinking and is proven to lower anxiety. As deep diving therapy is going to be less effective until your anxiety is calmed a bit. If there were any childhood traumas, look into EMDR. Hypnotherapy might be helpful, and consider starting a mindfulness practice which needs commitment but is easy to learn, free, and over time is very powerful for anxiety and stress http://bit.ly/mindfulnessallabout. Finally, use the search bar to find our articles about fear of death, we think you’ll find them helpful. Best, HT.
Your fear of a loved one dying article is interesting to me because I have felt this, but not for people. I have lost several very special, very loved pets, both dogs and cats, recently. I now have an 18 year old cat. I keep crying about the fact that she is going to die sometimes soon. She the oldest furbaby I’ve ever been fortunate to have, and the thought of her upcoming demise is very saddening.
I also saw in a pet loss page that others feel this way too. Any suggestions you may have would be very welcome to those of us who consider furbabies to be more family than pets.
i’m a fifteen year old teenager and one of my best friends died two years ago from suicide. it was very hard for me to deal with it and it took me two years, but i still feel the pain. now whenever my friends tell me they’re sad or/and depressed, i can’t help myself, but think that they might take their lives too. i try to think that they won’t do it, since they told me they won’t, but my mind won’t stop questioning if they will or not. i tried to talk with my friends and mother, and they did help, but at the end of the day the feeling and anxiety about it never leaves. this feeling is ruining me inside and i feel so scared
Tia, definitely does sound like you’ve developed anxiety. The mind can get stuck in negative thinking loops and it can then affect our moods and our ability to cope on a day-to-day basis. Is there any one you could talk to who is outside of the situation? Does your school provide counselling? Would your mother be willing to help you see a counsellor? It might be helpful to find one who deals with grief. Otherwise there is a short-term type of therapy called CBT that focuses just on helping you stop your thoughts from being negative and getting out of control. It’s proven to help with anxiety. If you are in the UK, you can talk to your GP and they can also refer you for free support (although there can be really long wait lists). Best, HT.
Helen, pets are sentient creatures, who give and receive so much love. Many of us experience very real grief when we lose a beloved pet. Sounds like you are pre-grieving, which happens, much as when a loved human is sick and we know their death is ahead. We’d say take the article and use it’s tips, as all the tips mostly apply to knowing you are going to lose a pet too! Best, HT.
I have a fear of my partner will die from either long illness sudden death or just going out to work and never come back again through an accident,its getting worse that I see his death in my head that I think I would take my own life if he did die, I know that sounds selfish but I just cannot take it anymore ……
Hi Lindsey, sounds like you have anxiety. Anxiety can fixate on one thing, like the person we love most dying. This sort of anxiety can also be related to anxious attachment, a way of relating we learn as a child and then bring to our adult relationships. Would you consider going to talk to a counsellor about this? It would be a good idea. You can even talk to your GP who can recommend you for some NHS funded therapy, although the waiting lists can be very long in certain areas. Best, HT.
I’m 17 years old girl. I’m fear of losing my mother because she is my life. I can’t imagine a life without her. I love her so much but my fear of losing her keeps me sad and I can’t help overthinking about it and it keeps me sad. Please help.
Syeda it’s actually quite normal to have fear of losing your parents as a teenager. It is a time in life when you are realising that soon you will have to be independent and an adult and move out and create your own life, and decide who you are. Sometimes fear of losing parents is also fear of having to be an adult like them and not a child anymore. And when we realise that we have to become our own person soon, we feel vulnerable, and then realise that nothing is forever, not childhood, or not our parents. So there can be a mourning process. It can be helpful to take time each day to remember what is going right in the present, here and now. Things like daily gratitude can really help http://bit.ly/gratitudepractise. As can learning mindfulness http://bit.ly/mindfulnessallabout. And also learn about balanced thinking https://www.harleytherapy.co.uk/counselling/balanced-thinking-benefits.htm. If your thoughts get really erratic to the point it’s affecting your everyday life, it might be that you have anxiety, and it’s a good idea to talk to a counsellor. Best, HT.
I am a 65 year old woman with no one. I have 2 sons in their 20’s. They are the loves of my life– but they have their own lives. My sister means more to me than anyone ever has except for my 2 sons. I feel she is the only person I have ever been close to that truly cares about me and my life. When she dies, I can’t imagine living without her love anymore. I dont know how people go on living without at least 1 person that cares about them. I don’t think I can do it. I need someone who believes in me and cares. I won’t have that. I dont know if I want to be a person that can go it alone with no one who cares about me and by my side each day.
Hi Mary, we have many clients with no family at all, totally alone, and they do struggle, particularly if they never developed intimacy bonds before as they were not taught how to. Sounds like at this point you do actually have people in your life you are bonded with, but your worries and anxiety about the future are blocking your ability to enjoy what you have. Our question for you is, do YOU believe in yourself? Do YOU care about yourself? If not, where does this disconnection come from? Are you able to make new friends? If not, what stops you? And would you be willing to, even now, gather up your courage and develop a relationship with yourself? Which, in our opinion, is the most important of all, and it’s never to late to work on? It’s only once we truly feel happy with our own company that we can feel safe in the world and feel safe connecting with all those around us, including new friends. We would advise some sort of counselling to deal with this level of worry and disconnection from self. We also have clients who married again in their seventies, or developed new interests or social lives and surprised themselves. Until then, you might want to learn mindfulness https://www.harleytherapy.co.uk/mindfulness-help-guide.htm which helps you to stay in the present. Best, HT.
Hi, I lost my dad to suicide when I was 11. I’m now 21 and am always anxious about my mum dying (and other family members – e.g aunties). I’ve always worried about this for a long time but it seems to be getting worse to the point where I am thinking about it too much (and about how I couldn’t cope without her). I’m an only child which I think makes this fear worse. I don’t know how to stop this irrational thinking.
Hi there. Have you ever talked to someone about all of this? A professional? That’s a lot to go through so not surprising you’d have anxiety. You see it’s actually normal when transitioning into adult independence to have anxiety about parents dying. We see this in a lot of young adults. Being a teenager is the time we explore who we are outside of those around us, which means we also have to face up to the fact we are separate, and that those around us are not forever. And striking out on our own and being independent also makes us realise and that we can’t rely on anyone to always be there and have to learn how to depend on ourselves. This normal processing might be far more difficult for you simply due to such a sudden loss. So we would say worth talking to someone. As for ‘stopping it’, resistance often makes things worse. What about just accepting it? Right now, at this time in your life, things seem scary. And that’s okay. Right now, you have thoughts that are irrational. And that’s ok, too. They are thoughts, not who you are. Right now you worry you can’t cope without someone else. But in fact you have already proven that you can cope and continue without others. Focus on each day, and on not panicking in the face of thoughts, and reach out for support. Best, HT.
Hi, thanks for this grate reading u provided. It was really helpful and i felt calm and understood durig reading it.
I am just turned 20 today and I realize that I really have this fear of loss in the relationships. The fear is unfortunately huge. I always picture my girlfriend making out with another guy (a similiar situation happend one time and i really felt hurt. Maybe I developed a destructive defence mechanism). Eventhough she loves me and I am aware of that (most of the time), I still feared of loosing her, sometimes in a really harmfull way.
What can I do?
Thanks for your help. It will be very helpful. Very!
(I kinda wanna accept the fact that it could happen and also accept the thing with the last time…That is kinda my goal)
Hi Kasra, it’s a good goal, acceptance. The problem with acceptance is that it’s far easier said than done. Sometimes what we need to accept instead is our discomfort. What if it’s okay to be afraid of losing someone? If it’s okay to have negative thoughts about what might happen? Can you accept that you have these thoughts, then continue on, regardless? And recognise that you are not your thoughts? That thoughts are just thoughts? Also note that 20 is a common age to have this sort of fear, it’s the age you are moving towards independence from your family. And the more you must rely on yourself, the more you must realise that nothing is forever. As for this other situation, yes, it might be colouring this new relationship. But we’d imagine it goes far deeper than that. What did you learn about love and relationships growing up for example? And how is your self esteem? As for self-help tools, we’d really recommend mindfulness. We have a free guide to it here https://www.harleytherapy.co.uk/mindfulness-help-guide.htm Best, HT
Even though life is completely find right now, I really can’t stop randomly thinking of loved ones dying and then randomly getting anxiety from it, help.. I hate this feeling so much the more I think about it, the more I want to cry, I don’t want to cry..
Hi Charlotte, it’s a strange time in the world, a lot of people are feeling anxious and having negative thoughts. Try to go easy on yourself. It’s also fine to cry now and then, it can be cathartic and useful. Best, HT.
I’m really scared of losing my mom. I’m 15 years old.
I really fear it deeply, like I’ll be in bed sobbing at 12 in the morning thinking about how life will be without her and I get physical chest pains from the hurt
I just won’t be able to live without her
I’m scared everytime she goes out or she is feeling sick and I always want to be with her or along side her
I’m very attached to her and it physically hurts me to think of her dying and I think of her dying often and I don’t know what to do because I know if I lose her, I will lose myself
It makes my chest, head and heart to think of it
I really feel lost
I don’t know anymore
I want to die before she dies and leaves me
I cant live without her
What’s wrong with me?
Hi there. We can’t make a diagnosis based on a comment, we don’t know you or the entire situation. It’s normal for teens to worry about their parents dying as they are now expected to become independent and this can cause anxiety. But it sounds like you are dependent on your Mother and having severe anxiety. Do you have friends and a social life? Or your own interests? What sort of relationship have you had growing up with your Mother? Did she depend on you? Or stop you from having your own life? Does she control your life? These are things you would look at with a counsellor or therapist. Is there someone you can talk to about this? Would you be able to seek support?
thank you so much! i’ve stopped worrying about losing loved ones, thanks to your advices! i’ve also tried meditating works well too!
Glad to be of help!
Please help me, i just kept thinking about my family member’s death especially my mom. I am scared of going anywhere without her, and I don’t want them to know about it. I usually cry at night whenever i think of it, it started when i was about 4th grade. Just like the latest comment here, that’s exactly how i feel. I’m also 15 years old, is it normal? I’m currently panicking rn lol
Hi Jlna, we don’t like the word ‘normal’. There isn’t really any ‘normal’. Everyone has their own issues, obvious or not. We are all just people doing our best. We can’t really say as we would need to know you and your history, but it sounds like you have anxiety. Anxiety causes our brain to fixate on one thing, and for you it’s people you love dying. As you love your mother most, it’s her you focus on the most. And we’d imagine there might also be some family issues, given that you don’t even feel you can talk to your family openly about this. It’s a good idea to seek some support about this. Is there a counsellor at school you could talk to? Or could you suggest to your mother you are feeling anxious and would like to talk to someone, without having to explain all to her? And she might help you find a counsellor? We have an article here about how to talk to your parents about mental health http://bit.ly/talktoparents. Best, HT.
hi,i have a fear about losing my family.It started when last month,one of my best friend lost her father at night because of heart attack.And since then i cant sleep well at night,i always worried about my family and in the morning when i wake up ,i call them if they re healthy.I always have these thoughts when somebody died around me.But generally it was take 2-3 days,but now its been 1 month and it still continue.Maybe the reason of that is my friends parents generally died because of heart attack.And im a doctor and working on epidemic hospital right now and see covid cases makes me worse at all.Because my mother was a breast cancer and my father has a COPD,so i worried because of that and it makes me OCD,i sanitized everything 3 times,not literally going outside except grocery shopping,to protect them to get infected.And these thoughts really make me so exhausted.I cant get rid of these ideas and i dont know what to do if this happens.I fear of that i miss them so much,not anything else just missing them i cant get over it,even if i think that i start crying and i really dont know how to handle this…
Darcy, it really sounds like anxiety disorder. We can’t be sure, we obviously can’t diagnose based on a comment, but as a doctor, we are sure you’d tell someone with physical symptoms to get support. We’d highly advise given these mental symptoms to get support. Anxiety picks one thing to overfocus on obsessively, and your mind has settled on the death of your friend’s father. Plus it’s hardly surprising you have developed anxiety, being a doctor during Covid is incredibly stressful and there has been such a rise in anxiety and depression amongst healthcare workers that some places were offering free therapy in the UK to healthcare workers earlier in the year. In fact the thing that is most stressing you out could be work, anxiety tends to find something outside of the main issue to obsess on. Does your workplace provide any mental health support? If they do, take it. Otherwise, is there another way you can access support? Skype therapy is very good for anxiety and doesn’t involve leaving home or endangering your parents health. Don’t at all feel like you are ‘weak’ to be having this crisis, quite honestly it would be far more worrisome, as a doctor dealing with the pandemic, if you didn’t have mental health symptoms. It’s actually. a healthy response to a very unhealthy and unheard of situation, your mind’s way of letting you know its stress limits. Again, do reach out for some support. Self help methods to look into include mindfulness (there are some easy to follow apps which can help) and breathing exercises for stress, lots of videos on Youtube. Be gentle on yourself, you are navigating a lot. But don’t trick yourself into thinking that self help is enough, seek support. We know as a caregiver the last person we can give care to can be ourselves. Try not to fall into that trap. We help others best if we help ourselves first. Best, HT.
Hi, my name is Emma
I have a really ad fear of loosing My mom, I’m 13
Eveytime she leave the house I get really bad panick attacks
I always need to be with her when shes in public, i feel like she’s just gonna leave and get in an accident and not come back ever. Or I feel like she’s gonna get shot or something. I can’t talk to my friends abt it bc they wont take it seriously, and my mom just says she’s gonna be fine, but she doesn’t know that.
Hi Emma, as we enter the phase we realise we are going to one day have to be in charge of our lives and be independent, we can start to panic about the people we have always relied on. A lot of teenagers go through a phase of realising their parents will one day die and then being really scared. But if you have anxiety, your anxiety can focus on this fear and make it so big it starts to make daily coping hard. We think it would be great if you had someone to talk to about this, outside of the situation. Is there a counsellor at school you would be comfortable talking to? If not, would you be comfortable telling your parents you feel anxious and would like to talk to someone, a counsellor or therapist? We have an article about how to bring up mental health with your parents here http://bit.ly/talktoparents. IF you are in the UK, you can also speak to your GP who can then refer you to someone. There are also free helplines for teens, you can find the UK ones here http://bit.ly/mentalhelplines. If you aren’t in the UK, google for one near you. Best, HT.
Hi. I have a fear of losing my loved ones, specifically my parents. I just don’t know what to do when I lose them. It just makes my day really sad thinking about that. It started roughly 3 months ago because of a youtuber that died. It made it worse when our favorite youtuber died because we watch his videos everyday. I really don’t know if we will meet in the after life or the after life would be a very dark and gloomy place. It really bothers me whenever I go to sleep. It makes me feel really uncomfortable. It makes me tear up when I think about this. I already lost several relatives and friends and that makes my heart ‘crippled’. I just don’t wanna lose my family because they play a big role in my life. Even though when I grow up, having my own family, I will sincerely miss them as they are the ones who shaped my mind, made me stronger and intelligent, more disciplined, and they taught me everything that I can apply using it in the future. As the youngest in the family, it makes me feel really sad because I’ll be the only one left if their time comes. As a Christian, I really hope that the heaven is real so that we can meet and have a wonderful and more happy life up above there but what would happen if the Bible said that there will be an everlasting life in heaven? What will happen with the gift of eternal life? I really hope that I can accept these because I can’t have a regular sleeping time, it makes me scared when I can’t see them; like if they go out, travel places, or they’re just in their room, and it really makes my emotions mixed up when they are not feeling well especially in this time of pandemic. I think, in the future, when I do really have a family, I would understand these situations and also to accept that life is just temporary. I hope this comment would raise your attention. I’m still 12 years old going 13 on the 27th and I’m a grade 7 student. To the people out there, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and have a good day ahead! 😉
Hi Benjamin. As you’ll see in some of our other responses, it’s actually normal to start worrying about your loved ones dying when you are a teenager. It’s the part of life you start to realise you will soon be independent, and that you are mortal, and that one day you will lose everyone. It’s a lot to digest and takes time but is a normal part of our social development. Have you talked to your family about these worries? Or do you have a trusted person you can discuss death and dying with? They are useful topics to learn about and discuss as they are an inevitable part of life. If you find that your worry gets bigger and bigger, and that you have other symptoms that match those of anxiety, it might be worth talking to a counsellor. Best, HT.
Hi.. I am a 50yr old woman, soon to be 51. Latley i think about my mom, Thank god i still have both my parents,, My mom is 84 and he health is going down hill, and its been really bothering me, I dont know why i seem to bottle up, when im talking to my dad, I know its coming soon, But im so scared how im going to deal with this. I just cant deal with the fact that she will be gone one day.. Its gonna hit me hard.. Please help me to understand this…..
Hi Pamela, unfortunately we can’t help you understand it based on a comment, as you, like all of us, are a complex person made up of a lifetime of experiences. As the article discusses, there can be so many reasons why we are anxious about a certain person dying, from fear of our own mortality, to a certain kind of relationship with that person. But given that it is causing you such anxiety, why not find someone who can help you understand it? A talk therapist could create a safe, non judgemental space for you to look at this issue and perhaps the other issues that arise connected to it. So if you could gather up your courage and find someone to talk to, we’d advise it. If you are on a tight budget, here in the UK you can speak to your GP and they can refer you for talk therapy, although there can be a wait time. Best, HT.
Hello, I am 18 years old and I currently can not sleep because of my anxiety, these past years I have always been thinking of losing my loved ones especially my small family, I just can not imagine my life without them, and I seriously mean this. Every night, when I go to sleep I think of it and it either ends by thinking of something else to distract myself or like this night, when nothing can distract me and I just decide to skip sleeping. Honestly, I am sick of it, these thoughts are hunting my head, and I would love to outcome this situation but being an introvert person I find it difficult to speak out about my problems especially “non-material” ones. Help me! 🙁
Hi Mira, if you read through the other comments here on this article, you will find you aren’t alone, and we discuss how this is a normal thing that happens when an adolescent realising your own mortality and that soon you have to strike out on your own in the world. We recommend that you see this anxiety as serious even if it is not a physical thing and do talk to someone, introverted or not. Is there a counsellor at school? A friend or relative you trust? Talking about these things with a trusted person can help you feel less alone and can make a world of difference. best, HT.
Hi ,Iost both my parents to illness when I was very young,I miss them so much I hope God is keeping them,Please help me get through the pain.
Hi Bernard, sounds tough. This sort of emotional pain that has not gone away on its own deserves proper attention, not some random comment from a blog team. We highly advise you see the help of a professional counsellor or therapist. If you are on a low budget, use our article on finding low cost counselling for inspiration http://bit.ly/lowcosttherapy. Best, HT.
Hi there, I am soon to be 20 in a couple of days. Basically I have experienced alot of tough things at a very young age. I have lost 4 close friends in the past 3 years.. 2 of them passed away due to suicide, one in a car accident and the last one drowned will trying to cool off on a hot summers day. I was there with my friend at the time he drowned and it was the hardest thing I ever had to watch. I felt so helpless, we all tried to save him but the current was just too strong. He was only in his early 20’s. It was heartbreaking. Since that day I have had a horrible fear of water. I use to love swimming but now I go into an instant panic, I totally freak out and lose all control of myself. I have a fear of drowning and I think it is all linked to what happened to my friend. My uncle suddenly died 5 months ago from a heart attack. He was so healthy, so full of life, always telling me to stay positive and to stick to my Nursing course which I am studying in college. All of a sudden he was just taken from me and I can’t seem to get my head around it. I have witnessed so much death and loss over the years that I thought I would be able to bare it or even get use to the feeling as horrible as that sounds, but I just feel like this has been the worst loss so far. I have never said this to anybody and only feel comfortable saying this now because you don’t know who I am but will you please give me any advice you can. Thank you for taking the time to read this, I appreciate it.
Hi there HD. That is a heck of a lot for one person to bear. Anxiety actually feels a normal response considering. Your brain is overwhelmed and trying to protect you. Grief is a strange beast. It takes a lot of time to process, and comes with a lot of symptoms you’d probably recognise if you read some of our articles on loss and grief. And it’s often a very, very good idea to seek some support. Is there a reason you haven’t talked to a grief counsellor? Most colleges now offer free to low cost counselling as well, we’d highly advise you take advantage of whatever is on offer. Gather up your courage and seek support. It is a sign of strength, to be brave enough to seek support and take care of ourselves, more than any idea of trying to ‘bear it’ alone which tends to just mean we suffer a lot more and way longer. On an additional note, if your fear of water doesn’t clear up after counselling, you might want to try clinical hypnotherapy or EMDR, which can directly deal with anxiety and fear around a clearly defined traumatic event like what you lived through. best, HT.