Regardless of what life change looks like for you, it can leave you unbalanced, and uncertain of what to do next.
But it felt so good at first….
Feeling guilty because your life change was something you chose? Because you felt excited, even bragged to others about how great it would be?
Stop beating yourself up. It’s normal to feel excited about a new plan and then deflate when the reality of what you’ve taken on sets in. Take that energy and use it instead to take the following steps towards self care.
[At wit’s end after a life changing event and just need to talk to someone who understands? Book a Skype therapist now, be talking as soon as tomorrow.]
How to navigate life changing events
1. Quit worrying what people think.
There is an expression, ‘nobody kicks a dead dog’. If people are speaking against you, it’s often as they are jealous, or even scared. You are daring to do something they aren’t, or challenging their world view. It’s going to trigger some people. Let them be nervous.
There is only one person whose opinion you can control here – your own. What can you do to strengthen your own good opinion of yourself? Make a list on paper. Wasting time reacting to others surely won’t be on it.
2. Focus on the support you DO Have.
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Life change can be like a giant, unplanned life declutter. You realise who your real friends are and find you have to let go of friendships you thought were forever.
Yes, it can be shocking and hurtful to find that people you counted on judge you for a life change out of your control. But be open to seeing the people who do want to help you, as this too can be surprising.
If you really have no support at all – if even your friends and family don’t approve of your new life — then don’t overlook the help of acounsellor. They will create a safe, non judgmental space for you to share your worries and can help you find ways to cope.
3. Adjust your habits to fit your new life.
We can’t expect old ways of being to work for new ways of living, and yet that is what many of us do. We try to force fit our old ways to our new life.
Drinking every night, for example,might have been fine when you had a steady job. But now you are unemployed and changing career stream, a few nights at the gym instead can give you the energy and social life you need.
What would your ten year-old self have to say about where you are now in life? Would they see the accomplishments and the strength you are currently overlooking? What about your 85-year old self, would they be as worried as you are, or would they think you will be just fine?
9. And if it all feels way, way too much….
Reach out. Talk to someone. Again, if you feel you have nobody to talk to, or everyone around you is just too invested in what you do? Then consider a talk therapist. They have no agenda other than to help you feel back in balance, and they can help you find clarity when life change has you confused.