It can also sound like: I’m defective, I’m fatally flawed, I’m no good, I’m stupid, I’m worthless, everyone else is better than me, I don’t matter, I’m a bad person who can’t be fixed, I am a total failure, everything I do is wrong.
If you have this core belief you will suffer from low self-esteem. Often this sort of belief also causes fear of intimacy. It feels easier to not let anyone really get to know you than to get close to someone and have them see that you are flawed.
2. I am unlovable.
Nobody wants me, I’m better off alone, nobody understands me, I bore others, people hate me, I don’t need other people anyway.
You might find that you avoid relationships altogether to avoid proving yet again that you can’t be loved. Or, you’ll choose codependent relationships where you have to ‘earn’ love.
You can never trust anyone or anything, others are out to get me, I’m powerless, I’m helpless, I’m weak, you have to be in control to survive, never let your guard down, you should never be vulnerable, don’t ever reveal who you really are.
This belief leads to ongoing anxiety and fear of change. You will make choices based on what is ‘safe’ over what you truly want. Suffering from a constant sense you that you ‘missing out’ on life, you will not living up to your potential. Another side effect of this belief can be that you are a control freak, always trying to monitor everything and everyone around you.
5. I am not good enough.
I am a failure, I can’t change, I will never succeed, I can’t, I’m a loser, everyone else is better than me, I’m always second best, there is no point in trying in life.
The good news about core beliefs is that, with work and commitment, they are indeed changeable.
Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) is one of the best therapies for working on your core beliefs. It focuses on looking at how your beliefs and thoughts affect your behaviour and moods, and how you can change these cycles for good.